Magic: the Gathering News for April 2002
Good Man of the Week: Ed Fear
Though he was not my initial pick for this week, his recent charitable gesture to the Soma-PTR war has moved him up a little. Yes my good friends, the man with the best sideboard in Magic will show us what it truly means to be a good man.
Sol Malka and PTR Invited to Special Challenge in Nice
Ok boys, you've been selected to compete in the first ever: Edward Fear's Shut the Fuck Up and Smash Face Challenge The winner of this contest will "Win Ed Fear's Money" while the loser will suffer at the hands of their opponent.
Player Hailed As 'The Next Zvi Mowshowitz' Commits Suicide
Edison, New Jersey - Three weeks ago, Dave Aminzade was at the top of his game. After breezing through a JSS qualifier and then cruising to a PTQ win, Aminzade was being hailed as the next big thing on the Pro Tour. All that changed, however, when a well-meaning friend boldly predicted that Aminzade's continued success would lead to him being 'the next Zvi Mowshowitz'. Despite the seemingly harmless nature of the remark, the result was a three-week descent into madness and self-loathing that eventually ended with Aminzade taking his own life.
PTR and Soma Flame the Piss Out of Each Other
Peter "PTR" Szigeti and Sol "Soma" Malka are actively involved an an online pissing contest over at the Wizards.Com Forums. Topics of discussion include the classic "I make more money than you" debate and the simple, yet effective, "nobody likes you" argument.
Judgement Spoiler Causes Pre-Emptive DCI Bannings
With the unexpected leak of the Judgement spoiler well ahead of the planned leaks, the DCI pre-empitvely banned a number of Flashback cards in Odyssey Block Constructed and Standard to prevent the abuse of the new card Quiet Speculation. Among the casualties were Roar of the Wurm and Deep Analysis.
Good Man of the Week: Randy Buehler
He may not be part of the Pro-Tour any more, but his presence is more than felt, and I am not just talking maximum occupancy here.
Judgement Preview Completion Date Moved Up
The Sideboard Online announced today that due to the unintentional early release of the Judgment Spoiler, the target date for the completion of Gary Wise's color-by-color set review has been moved up to October 31, 2002.
When you Wish
When I read the spoiler for Judgement, my first thought was, "Wow, they printed a card that will make people put a copy of Fact or Fiction in their sideboard." This might have led to serious analysis or new decklists, but instead it led to the following song (sung to the tune of "When you wish upon a star").
Budde's Secret Revealed
ALGIERS (AP)- Evidence suggests that Kai Budde, considered the best Magic: the Gathering player in recent history, may have gotten his success from the German version of the world's most popular online auction site, EBay.
[REGIONALS 2002] : MORTAL KOMBAT
After waking up at 7:00 Saturday morning to no alarm what-so-ever, my friend and I showed up to the Ohio Valley Regionals in Columbus at 8:30, and we were not alone. Many of the others we play with had beat us there, it was quite a surprise, seeing that they had less sleep then we did. One of them Top 8, but that is not the point of this pile of randomness.
[REGIONALS 2002] : "Mouth" Gets Another Boot
Mouth continues his his epic quest of getting kicked out of every possible magic position ever. Recently banned for 2 years from judging and playing by the DCI for adding cards to his sealed deck, Mouth hadn't given up on Magic. He attended New England regionals to cheer on Andystok and do feature match coverage for Team Academy's website.
[REGIONALS 2002] : Monita Stranded at Regionals
Apparently he told his sleep deprived ride "FryChikN" he was going to go eat. "FryChikN" claims to have been naping and did not hear Monita make this statement. When Monita was nowhere to be found it was assumed he had found another ride home and left early.
Best Deck Ever Discovered by Brainburst Premiere Writer
Terminator, the best deck ever to be created in the Standard Format has been discovered by Brainburst Premiere Staff Writer, Jarrod Bright. The deck, with it's Llanowar Dead technology, had not yet been unearthed by pros or Regionals testers.
Good Man of the Week: Jon Finkel
Before he became a Shadowmage Infiltrator, Jon was merely the best there was. Probably the best there ever will be. Despite the dominance of that German guy who so kindly stole Gab Tsang's nick name, Jon is still the best pure player in the game.
Finkel Offered Endorsement Deal
Formerly considered the greatest Magic player of all time, Jon Finkel's game has fallen off recently. Due to increased focus on other priorities, lack of playtesting enthusiasm, and savage competition from a certain Juggernaut, Jon is rapidly falling from the Magic communities public eye.
Team Academy Founder Vincent Rivera Still On His Game
Convicted murderer and Team Academy founder Vinnie Rivera was able to make a brief comeback to the game this past Friday, when he and seven other inmates participated in an 8-man booster draft.
Rapist Gets Fresh Start in MiseTings Forum Community
Associated Press - When the judge sentenced him after his third sexual assault conviction, 43-year-old Ryan Silman thought his life was over. The law mandated that any future neighborhood be notified before Silman moved into a given area, meaning that he would be a marked man, doomed to be excluded and ostracized for the rest of his life. However, all that changed last month, when the Kansas native discovered Magic: the Gathering and its premier humor site, MiseTings.com. With its open forums, the multiple-rapist had found a welcoming community of similar misfits, one into which Silman fit like an old shoe.
Good Man of the week: David Price
The first time I saw Dave I was at a Neutral Ground $1000 tournament. With a punk hair style, a hoody, and the same sullen attitude he shows in his game today, he played the top 8 which was a limited format consisting of 2 starter decks of Mirage. I don't remember much about this, but he beat my teammate Aaron who was all of 14 at the time. Aaron was driven to tears. Mostly out of frustration, but I am sure Dave rattled him. We didn't know who this guy was, but we would learn soon enough.
Writer Contracts Disease From Swinging With Savage Men
A noted Internet writer, who wishes to be identified only as S.M., warned Magic players about the dangers of swinging with savage men today. Apparently, S.M. has contracted a recurring nightmare of a disease from his repeated nocturnal swings with savage men.
Beloved Chaplain Killed by Lightning Bolt
Local monk and Beloved Chaplain Sonny “Bob” Harrison died while on a nature hike this past Saturday when a Lightning Bolt mysteriously struck him. Authorities are baffled by this since it was a cloudless day.
Mouth's Tragic Suicide Felt by Magic Community
When a pro player is banned, it means his or her public life is officially over. They become trapped within the dungeon beneath their parent’s abode, never to rise up for a true job. “Yer shit” swiftly becomes the only epitaph worth using upon these forsaken mages. It’s easy to see why such acts by the DCI can so easily drive players past the brink.
GP Champ Excited About Second "Sideboard" Feature Article
Ding Yuen Long won GP Kuala Lumpur on Sunday, earning him $2,400 and his second feature article on "The Sideboard Online." The Sideboard is a sporadically updated internet site which features coverage of the latest Magic the Gathering tornaments along with strategy articles, if they get around to it.
Arabian Nights Limited Review: White
This is the first installment of my series analyzing the cards in Arabian Nights for the purposes of limited play.
Wise's Writer Block Gone - Posts Arabian Nights Limited Review
Following a series of catch-up posts that started with an outdated Limited Review for Odyssey, a set that has been on the shelves for months now, Gary Wise, Limited Analyst at www.sideboard.com, took the Time Machine and reviewed all M:tG sets that ever saw print as far as back to Arabian Nights.
Kai Budde Prepares for JSS Run
Cologne, Germany - Kai Budde is the undisputed king of Magic. After taking the crown in the Osaka Masters series, Budde has won every major event in competitive Magic. Everything, that is, except the Junior Super Series. It is not likely to remain this way for long, though. In a press conference last Tuesday outside of his thousand-acre country mansion, the German Juggernaut announced plans to add the JSS title to his considerable resume.
'Good Man' Writer Potentially Biased
With the second week of "Kartin'" Ken Krouner's 'Good Man Of The Week' series here on MiseTings, it seems that Ken might be using a bit of favoritism in his selection process.
Good Man of the Week: Peter Szigeti
The much maligned Peter Szigeti has done much for our beloved Magic community. It all began about 2 years ago when Peter was just imparting his wisdom to #mtgpro on mIRC.