Magic: the Gathering News for August 2002
Wizards Phasing Out Artifacts, Spells
"The age of the artifact has come to an end," announced Mark Rosewater, senior designer of Magic: the Gathering at a recent press conference. "Market research studies show that people simply don't like them. So as part of Wizards' long-term goal of keeping in touch with the players, we've decided there is simply no further need to print artifacts in upcoming sets. As of this moment, artifacts cease to be tournament legal." Rosewater added, "Oh yeah, Spells, too."
R&D To Attend Mandatory Diversity Training
RENTON, Wash. -- In response to what an insider called "a grotesque lack of understanding of the concept," the game company Wizards of the Coast will require its Magic: The Gathering research and development team members to attend mandatory diversity training, MiseTings has learned.
More Seth Burn Preview Articles on the Horizon
After the continued success of Seth Burn's annual Football Season Preview, Brainburst has hired the sports jock to run a series of articles previewing other great sporting endeavors.
Voting for Villains
Tom Guevin, Peter Szigeti, Mike Long, Peter Leiher, Chris Benafel. These are the men on this year's invitational ballot who may be overlooked for the very reason I feel they should be voted on.
I'll Still Take My Chances Against One of Those Taco-Eaters
The World Championships came to a close a week ago, and the latest 'internet buzz' is that the strong showing by the players from Latin America (including Carlos Romao winning the whole enchilada) indicates that that particular region of the world is now a force to be reckoned with. While it is true that this event showcased a marked improvement from El Mages Latinos, let there be no doubt. I'll take my chances against one of those taco-eating, llama-riding, sombrero-wearers any day of the week.
Ben Bleiweiss has More Money Than You
In a stunning display of testicular fortitude, Ben Bleiweiss announced last week that he not only has more money than you, but he has so much money that he can afford to throw Black Loti around with reckless abandon.
Good Men of Worlds 2002
Sometimes there are weeks that go by when more than one man creates a great impact. This was one of those weeks for yours truly.
Worlds 2002 - Recap
The World Championships were very exciting this year. Block constructed surprised us all as quite a healthy format with many viable archetypes: blue/green madness, blue/green threshold, blue/green speculation, blue/green speculation with grizzly fate were all viable archetypes in the metagame. As was expected, the Standard format was also quite healthy with: U/B Psychatog, U/B/r Psychatog with Burning Wish, U/B/r Psychatog with Cunning Wish, and U/B/g Psychatog providing for a highly diverse field.
Onslaught Game Mechanic Revealed
Because of a promotional card released in The Netherlands, Magic: The Gathering players have gotten a sneak peek at a new game mechanic that will appear in the next Magic set, Onslaught. Mark Rosewater of Wizards of the Coast, the company that makes Magic: The Gathering, confirmed Friday that the new game mechanic will be known as "Red Sucks Ass."
Garfield Irked As No One Grasps Shahrazad Analogy
Magic: The Gathering creator Richard Garfield announced Friday that irritation had been building within him for nearly two weeks over the complete failure of "moronic" Magic players to grasp a literary analogy he felt he plainly made in a column.
Ask Kai
Ask Kai is a new column on www.magicthegathering.com. Kai Budde will be answering players' questions in order to help them get better at the game. He will also be answering miscellaneous questions regarding Magic.
Another Rant From MD
You know what time it is, kiddies? Time for me to vent. Yes, that's right, the one and only MD is back to give the censors some work.
Team Academy gets Pulled for Language Content
For right now http://www.breaktheformat.com is Team Academy.com.
Good Man of the Week: Ed Fear
And now we have our first ever two time Good Man of the Week. Ed Fear was concerned when he heard about the Magic: The Gathering World Championships being held in Sydney, Australia. While it is important to cater to the massive 5 player market in this smallest of continents, Ed felt that the drop off in attendance would be staggering.
Ask Wizards: Rejected II
MiseTings Presents: Ask Wizards: Dumbass Questions We Rejected.
New Feature Added to Michael Clauss Articles
Responding to complaints of not only readers but human rights organizations such as Amnesty International, The Ferrett and StarCity Games haved caved in, and will now include a diagram along with every Michael Clauss article. The diagram will advise and instruct the reader on the proper way to slit his wrists, if he feels so inclined.