Magic: the Gathering News for April 2003
Magic Online Worlds Qualifier Won by Netdeck
The Magic Online community was shocked Sunday when the World Championship Qualifier was controversially won by a “netdeck”. After 12 rounds of grueling competition, Standard guru Gainsay won the competition with a deck that has come to be known as Psychatog. Although he had made some alterations to the deck, it was essentially the same deck that has been seen on the Internet for many months.
New "Plainscycling" Ability to Appear in Scourge
Renton, WA -- Wizards of the Coast, faced with the cumbersome, self-mandated challenge of creating yet another 1-set ability, struck gold when it decided to limit an existing ability to simply searching for land cards in its upcoming expansion. Scourge, which debuts at pre-releases next month, will contain a new ability called "plainscycling," according to a spoiler list report at mtgnews.com.
Online Trader Makes $0.30 an Hour
ONLINE WORLD - 2kewl4yourma, a frequenter of the trade and auction rooms in the Magic Online world, was horrified on Monday to learn that he was only making approximately $0.30 an hour in his online trading business. "Frankly, I was shocked," 14-year-old 2kewl informed MiseTings in an exclusive interview.
You Make the Card of the Week - Recap
The first and last You Make the Card of the Week is finally over. The people have spoken, and they have said, "unnnhhh...BRAAAAINS..." In the absence of intelligent thought, Infernal Spawn of Zvi was created.
Top 20 MiseTings Articles
This is the Top 20 list that I mentioned previously, presented here for the purpose of giving props to those who deserve them while at the same time passive-aggressively shitting on those writers whose stuff did not make the list =] Now, some of you may be wondering why you should care about my personal opinion, but the simple fact is that when it comes to writing comedy, I know more than you do and my opinion counts while yours means nothing.
The Rules Corner - By: Dr. Rules, M.D.
First, some short answers and clarifications: Phage the Untouchable is confusing a lot of people, probably because of the sentence "when Phage the Untouchable comes into play, if you didn't play it from your hand, you lose the game." Since I can't think of any way to get cards into play other than "playing them from your hand," then I guess you can pretty much ignore that sentence. It's just some crazy rules mumbo jumbo.
Sparksmith Shoots Self, Tries To Undo
In round one of an Onslaught Legions booster draft Monday, Magic Online enthusiast "alexander4496" became quite unhinged when his board dominating Sparksmith decided to commit suicide.
Cycle in Mirrodin Frees R&D From Having to Design Four More Cards
The Mirrodin development team, struggling to fill slots for the upcoming expansion, were relieved when lead developer Randy Buehler had the idea of taking a single card and making an uninspired parallel version for each of the other colors.
Kai Defeats American Scrub in Yet Another Field: Understanding English
In a stunning upset today, Kai Budde proved that he does not just understand Magic better than Americans, he may also better understand their own language. Proof came when American Scrub Bill Waite attempted a classic “grammar flame” of the German Juggernaut on the Star City discussion boards.
Aryan Mages Working on "Heroes of the Third Reich" Standalone
Inspired by a seemingly innocent comment by Magic: The Gathering R&D employee Mark Rosewater, white supremacist gamers around the globe have begun developing “Heroes of the Third Reich,” a new standalone set for the popular collectible card game (CCG).
Wizards of the Coast Cancels GP: Baghdad
RENTON, WA - In a move bound to disappoint many in the Middle East, Wizards of the Coast's Mark Rosewater announced the cancellation of Grand Prix: Baghdad. This "Breaking News" was carried live by CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News as part of their commitment to 24-hour war coverage. At the press conference, Mark Rosewater cited the repeated Coalition bombing as a central reason for the change. He apologized to "all of our Arab friends" and confused reporters by ending the press conference with, "May all your GPS-guided bombs hit their intended targets."
Week in Review Mar. 25-31
I regret to announce that this week’s column contains an article about Mark Rosewater. I’ve been doing my best to avoid the “Every Goddamn Article is About Buehler or Rosewater” trend that has plagued this site for the past couple months (incidentally, I’m also trying to stay away from the “Every Goddamn Article Sucks Shit” trend that has been the status quo for the past year and a half or so).
Scrubby Trade Binder Skyrockets in Value After PT Venice
LINCOLN, NEBRASKA - Chad Smith, longtime casual Magic player and tournament scrub was astonished by shifts in the value of his previously "worthless" trade binder, say sources close to Smith. Smith's binder, a beat-up thee-ring with a Slipknot bumper sticker across the front, is loaded with overcosted, Timmy-Power-Gamer style fatties, particularly from Onslaught and Legions, which Smith is heard to have called the "best sets ever."
Top Ten PT Venice Captions
Top ten captions from Pro Tour Venice. Generated by the MiseTings community and chosen by MB.
Misetings Has No Aprils Fools Articles
In an unprecedented move by editor Mike Bregoli, there were no "humorous" articles posted on website Misetings.com concerning April first, also known as April Fools Day in many parts of the world.