Magic: the Gathering News for January 2004
The Fat Man Sings
Reuters -- Kurtis "Fat Man" Hahn, in his promised tell-all memoir, Mein Über-Kampf, finally admitted that charges brought against him for flinging a bottle of Minute Maid lemonade at Mike Dove at a Pro-Tour Qualifier in October 2002.
Pro Tour Amsterdam Report
Unfortunately, when all was said and done I'd have to satisfy myself. . . knowing I at least performed better than Johnny Magic. Although I didn't win, there is a fairly respectable list of Grand Prix, Pro Tour, Invitational, National, and World Championship winners whom I placed better than.
Card Advantage Gladiators
Come one, come all, and witness the greatest spectacle in card advantage counting ever! The greatest matchup of our time! Geordie "The Ontarian Calculator" Tait versus Oscar "The Manilla Machine" Tan! Monday night in the Card Advantage Dome!
Hasbro to Collaborate with McDonald’s
Members of Hasbro’s public relations firm, Manning, Selvage & Lee, announced today in a press release that the collectible card game "Magic: The Gathering" will soon be coming to a McDonald’s near you.
Magic Players Helping Society
In the Magic: the Gathering society, many brave and selfless acts of charity go overlooked. Everyday, altruistic scrubs and pros alike work together to help form better communities. Often, these acts are overlooked. In this article I would like to point out a few of the most generous card slingers.
Putting the 'D' in Reality TV: A Tournament Report
So, it's 9:50 AM and we're back on the highway, still trying to find the tournament site. We've been off on the right exit twice, but have stupidly ended up right back out on the highway again before we can figure out where we're supposed to go. As we drive aimlessly, Todd Richard tells us stories about how he used to live in the corner apartment of the large building that we're passing. Yet somehow we're still lost. My name is Adam Kesher, PTQ scrub and witness to more inane randomness than anyone on Jimmy's green Earth. And this is my story.
Darksteel Introduces New Keyword “undestrucablecantcountermeorblockeven!”
In an article earlier this week on magicthegathering.com, Wizards introduced a new card containing the keyword. “One of the first things we noticed when designing this new Magic: the Gathering expansion is that the average player doesn’t want his card to be destroyed, countered, or blocked. With these key thoughts in mind we came up with this brilliant new ability,” said a nervous looking Mark Rosewater when asked for comment.
Rescuers Work To Free Hasbro Executives Buried Under Pile Of Money
PAWTUCKET, R.I. -- Emergency workers struggled throughout Monday evening to reach three Hasbro executives believed to be alive and trapped underneath an enormous pile of money at the company's headquarters.
Brainburst Premium to follow Wizard's Lead With Price Increase
Noted strategy site, Brainburst.com, issued a press release today stating their intent to follow the lead of Wizards of the Coast and increase their prices. Brainburst, a website offers users a "Premium Membership" which offers strategy advice from such magic greats as Zvi Mowshowitz, Zvi Mowshowitz and of course, groundbreaking works by Zvi Mowshowitz. The subscription, which costs 30 bazillion dollars a year (less than a jillion dollars an article as they are quick to point out), is raising the yearly membership fee to 1.8 quintillianjillionfrillion dollars.
Labarre, Hamon Play Out Remainder Of Life's Matches
RENTON, Wash. -- Professional Magic: The Gathering players Nicolas Labarre and Yann Hamon announced this week that in a grueling 100-game marathon, the duo had played in advance every possible Magic game in which they might face each other in a professional tournament.