It's The Grand Experiment. Magic meets MTV's The Real World. It's crazy, but just crazy enough to work. Eight Magic players whose skills are matched only by their relaxed attitude towards preparation. One house in the middle of nowhere. One month to break the Odyssey Block Constructed format wide open. One GIANT D left in the toilet.

Colony House 2 PM


PTR wakes up bright and early before everyone else and goes to take a morning piss in Toilet #2. Halfway through his piss, he notices that the toilet is clogged with a giant turd. He acts surprised. Could this be an act portrayed by the worlds most devious criminal? Or was he geniuly suprised that the toilet had been clogged. Only time will tell.

PTR then wakes up Brett Shears and Jeff Cunningham to tell him about the disgusting turn of events. Brett says he already knew the toilet was clogged. Did he already know because he was the culprit, or because he already tried to use the broken toilet. Jeff Cunningham exclaimed he had never set foot in that bathroom, and he didnt even know it was there, or so he says.

Approximately one hour later, Terry Tsang is awoken by the rancid smell of the clogged toilet. Terry was the last person who used the toilet before bed time at approximately 6am. Who did it? Who took the D that broke the toilet? Even now at 8pm the evidence is still decomposing. The turd that won't flush, hasn't been flushed, and won't be flushed until we get to the bottom of this unsolved mystery.

Everyone is a suspect.

The Suspects:


Jeff Fung:

After falling off the train following his monster Top 4 finish in Chicago, he left a monster D and didnt flush. Jeff Fung has been known to take monstrous poops and leave them unflushed, and for this, he has earned the title of #1 suspect.

Also: last night he ate several TV dinners, and had “a few” drinks-perhaps fuel for this filthy fire.


Brian Hegstad

The mild-mannered balance to this often madcap group is Brian Hegstad. He rose to the public eye as he helped the U.S. team continue its dominance at Worlds this year, while at the same time destroying 3 seperate toilets at Walt Disney World.


Ken Ho:

Three Top 32's put Ho ahead in the race for Rookie of the Year last year, but his mediocre performance at Worlds was outshined by that of Katsuhiro Mori, who took the title.

Perhaps it was that defeat that spawned the angst responsible for this massive bowel movement. Ken Ho’s got something to prove. Could that something be the tenacious D? Little is known about Ken’s frame of mind that night, only that he complained of rumbling “stomach pains” around 6pm.


PTR

Self-styled master criminal Peter Szigeti is all evil. Known to clogg toilets wherever he goes, PTR may have stuffed up one of the Colony bathrooms, as a cruel joke.


Greg Rosebeary:

The mysterious owner of the Colony house, little is known about Greg Rosebeary. Is he a gracious host of the mostly vacant mansion, or simply a fortunate squatter, accustomed to trainyard etiquette? Only time will tell if his intentions are noble or perverse.


Terry Tsang

It's simple. Terry Tsang is here to put Canada on the map. Along with his Canadian posse, this national champ wants to put Canada on the map. Could leaving his feces be the mark he is looking for? Only time will tell.


Ryan Fuller:

The notorious member of AlphaBetaUnlimited.com has been the subject of allegations ranging from collusion, to cheating, and now defacing a public toilet. We are in the Northwest, where Fuller and his cohorts have been known to reside, so whenever an accusation is made, Fuller is one of the prime suspects.


Brett Shears

Brett Shears, known mostly for clogging toilets in his hometown, Los Angeles, may be on to bigger and better things. Brett once took a 24 hour bus ride to Grand Prix Denver, which he won. The little known fact about his journey was that he clogged 18 different toilets across 4 different states, and is looking to add Washington to his "(s)hit list."


Chris Benafel

Fresh off a 2nd place finish in GP Heidelberg, Benafel hadnt gone to the bathroom since his long voyage to Germany. After a week in Germany, and two 15 hour flights, im suprised he didnt spontaneously combust. Did he do the deed?


Jeff Cunningham

Was his recent top 8 finish at Pro Tour San Diego not enough for this rising star? His answer when asked if he was the culprit was one of the most guilty responses we heard. Did he d it? You decide.


So who d'd it? The Magic Colony presents to you a classic mystery where practically everyone is a suspect. Please vote on who you think d'd it, and hopefully we can uncover the mystery of the floating turd.

- PTR, Jeff Cunningham, and the Colony

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

It's The Grand Experiment. Magic meets MTV's The Real World. It's crazy, but just crazy enough to work. Eight Magic players whose skills are matched only by their relaxed attitude towards preparation. One house in the middle of nowhere. One month to break the Odyssey Block Constructed format wide open. One GIANT D left in the toilet.

Colony House 2 PM


PTR wakes up bright and early before everyone else and goes to take a morning piss in Toilet #2. Halfway through his piss, he notices that the toilet is clogged with a giant turd. He acts surprised. Could this be an act portrayed by the worlds most devious criminal? Or was he geniuly suprised that the toilet had been clogged. Only time will tell.

PTR then wakes up Brett Shears and Jeff Cunningham to tell him about the disgusting turn of events. Brett says he already knew the toilet was clogged. Did he already know because he was the culprit, or because he already tried to use the broken toilet. Jeff Cunningham exclaimed he had never set foot in that bathroom, and he didnt even know it was there, or so he says.

Approximately one hour later, Terry Tsang is awoken by the rancid smell of the clogged toilet. Terry was the last person who used the toilet before bed time at approximately 6am. Who did it? Who took the D that broke the toilet? Even now at 8pm the evidence is still decomposing. The turd that won't flush, hasn't been flushed, and won't be flushed until we get to the bottom of this unsolved mystery.

Everyone is a suspect.

The Suspects:


Jeff Fung:

After falling off the train following his monster Top 4 finish in Chicago, he left a monster D and didnt flush. Jeff Fung has been known to take monstrous poops and leave them unflushed, and for this, he has earned the title of #1 suspect.

Also: last night he ate several TV dinners, and had “a few” drinks-perhaps fuel for this filthy fire.


Brian Hegstad

The mild-mannered balance to this often madcap group is Brian Hegstad. He rose to the public eye as he helped the U.S. team continue its dominance at Worlds this year, while at the same time destroying 3 seperate toilets at Walt Disney World.


Ken Ho:

Three Top 32's put Ho ahead in the race for Rookie of the Year last year, but his mediocre performance at Worlds was outshined by that of Katsuhiro Mori, who took the title.

Perhaps it was that defeat that spawned the angst responsible for this massive bowel movement. Ken Ho’s got something to prove. Could that something be the tenacious D? Little is known about Ken’s frame of mind that night, only that he complained of rumbling “stomach pains” around 6pm.


PTR

Self-styled master criminal Peter Szigeti is all evil. Known to clogg toilets wherever he goes, PTR may have stuffed up one of the Colony bathrooms, as a cruel joke.


Greg Rosebeary:

The mysterious owner of the Colony house, little is known about Greg Rosebeary. Is he a gracious host of the mostly vacant mansion, or simply a fortunate squatter, accustomed to trainyard etiquette? Only time will tell if his intentions are noble or perverse.


Terry Tsang

It's simple. Terry Tsang is here to put Canada on the map. Along with his Canadian posse, this national champ wants to put Canada on the map. Could leaving his feces be the mark he is looking for? Only time will tell.


Ryan Fuller:

The notorious member of AlphaBetaUnlimited.com has been the subject of allegations ranging from collusion, to cheating, and now defacing a public toilet. We are in the Northwest, where Fuller and his cohorts have been known to reside, so whenever an accusation is made, Fuller is one of the prime suspects.


Brett Shears

Brett Shears, known mostly for clogging toilets in his hometown, Los Angeles, may be on to bigger and better things. Brett once took a 24 hour bus ride to Grand Prix Denver, which he won. The little known fact about his journey was that he clogged 18 different toilets across 4 different states, and is looking to add Washington to his "(s)hit list."


Chris Benafel

Fresh off a 2nd place finish in GP Heidelberg, Benafel hadnt gone to the bathroom since his long voyage to Germany. After a week in Germany, and two 15 hour flights, im suprised he didnt spontaneously combust. Did he do the deed?


Jeff Cunningham

Was his recent top 8 finish at Pro Tour San Diego not enough for this rising star? His answer when asked if he was the culprit was one of the most guilty responses we heard. Did he d it? You decide.


So who d'd it? The Magic Colony presents to you a classic mystery where practically everyone is a suspect. Please vote on who you think d'd it, and hopefully we can uncover the mystery of the floating turd.

- PTR, Jeff Cunningham, and the Colony

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!