"German nationals are BY FAR the toughest to beat!” An enthusiastic Kai Budde was overheard to say. “Look at how big and strong I am! You think your puny little aquamoeba can beat me? Never! I drink 16 glasses of milk a day.”

The zealous German national is right. He has proven single-handedly, time and again, German Nationals ARE toughest to beat with more than 4 career top 8’s and that is only counting Friday Night magic tournaments.

His teammate Marco Blume agrees. “I too am a big meaty German, and also enjoy my milk drinking!” Marco shouts.

"Why?" I ask.

“You’ve seen the Mana Cost on Akroma right? That is like, NINE mana! How do you expect your pimply little arms to, not only, actually tap NINE mana, but then lay the card down without breaking the table?” He continues, slightly out of breath, “I’ll tell you! Being German and drinking milk, Nancyboy.”

A little confused how Marco knows my mother’s nickname for me, I continue to Dirk Baberowski.

"Dirk, you too are a German national, and thus I assume you are the toughest to beat?"

“No, my pasty American friend,” He pauses, “That is Kai, but I am tougher to beat than most nationals, this is true.”

Hmm, thinking this interview has already gone on far too long, I start thinking of excuses to hang up the walkie-talkie when Dirk speaks again:

“Honestly, Kai and Marco would wedgify me for saying this, but I think French nationals are pretty tough too.”

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"German nationals are BY FAR the toughest to beat!” An enthusiastic Kai Budde was overheard to say. “Look at how big and strong I am! You think your puny little aquamoeba can beat me? Never! I drink 16 glasses of milk a day.”

The zealous German national is right. He has proven single-handedly, time and again, German Nationals ARE toughest to beat with more than 4 career top 8’s and that is only counting Friday Night magic tournaments.

His teammate Marco Blume agrees. “I too am a big meaty German, and also enjoy my milk drinking!” Marco shouts.

"Why?" I ask.

“You’ve seen the Mana Cost on Akroma right? That is like, NINE mana! How do you expect your pimply little arms to, not only, actually tap NINE mana, but then lay the card down without breaking the table?” He continues, slightly out of breath, “I’ll tell you! Being German and drinking milk, Nancyboy.”

A little confused how Marco knows my mother’s nickname for me, I continue to Dirk Baberowski.

"Dirk, you too are a German national, and thus I assume you are the toughest to beat?"

“No, my pasty American friend,” He pauses, “That is Kai, but I am tougher to beat than most nationals, this is true.”

Hmm, thinking this interview has already gone on far too long, I start thinking of excuses to hang up the walkie-talkie when Dirk speaks again:

“Honestly, Kai and Marco would wedgify me for saying this, but I think French nationals are pretty tough too.”

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!