Among new features: “Paper” cards

Renton, WA -- In the wake of the disastrous release of Magic Online v.2.0, Wizards of the Coast today announced that it will accelerate work on version 3.0 rather than waste precious man hours fixing the thousands of bugs, glitches, and infinite logic loops that have caused 2.0’s countless crashes. Among the exciting new features of MTGO version 3.0: “paper cards”, “flesh and blood opponents”, and a network of thousands of independently run “brick-and-mortar card shops” all over the world.

“We’ve spent a lot of time listening to the players during the last few weeks,” said an online representative for Wizards. “And we feel that our plans for Version 3.0 will solve all, if not all, of the major problems we’ve encountered. We fully expect MTGO 3.0 to revolutionize how players see the game.”

Players beta test the new interface.

For example, one of the most eagerly awaited features of version 2.0 was the Casual Trade room, an area on MODO where users could look through other players’ virtual binders and trade cards without having to post to the bulletin boards. The Casual Trade room turned out to be nothing but a pipedream for 2.0, but Wizards assures us that 3.0 will be different. “I know we disappointed a lot of people by not properly testing the trade room, but we’re going to make up for our blunders in 3.0 with the new ‘Real Trade’ feature. Players will be able to actually sit down at real tables and trade their real cards with real friends. How’s that for thinking outside the box!”

WOTC officials seemed confident that the new server would also be far more stable than the current version. “I think players will be extremely happy with the new interface. Games won’t crash, cards won’t trigger randomly, misclicks will be a thing of the past, and every player will get their very own unique, fully animated 3D avatar that looks exactly like them. And best of all, 3.0 is completely wireless; you won’t even have to log into your computer!”

The Magic community was already abuzz with the news, and opinions were mixed. “I don’t get it,” said Volrath69 in a post to a discussion forum. “Paper cards? Who’s going to want to shell out money for Magic cards printed on paper? I mean, come on, paper? I’ll stick with my digital cards, thank you very much.” Other posters shared Volrath69’s skepticism, fearing that new physical cards would destroy the resale value of their digital collections.

But Wizards insists that players just need to give 3.0 a chance. “People always resist change. I know the idea of paper cards seems ludicrous, but I truly believe that once people get used to playing with them, they’ll realize how much easier and more convenient it is. Magic is supposed to be fun, and MTGO version 3.0 is designed to bring the fun back to the game.”

Beta testing for MTGO 3.0 is expected to begin in living rooms all over the world next week.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Among new features: “Paper” cards

Renton, WA -- In the wake of the disastrous release of Magic Online v.2.0, Wizards of the Coast today announced that it will accelerate work on version 3.0 rather than waste precious man hours fixing the thousands of bugs, glitches, and infinite logic loops that have caused 2.0’s countless crashes. Among the exciting new features of MTGO version 3.0: “paper cards”, “flesh and blood opponents”, and a network of thousands of independently run “brick-and-mortar card shops” all over the world.

“We’ve spent a lot of time listening to the players during the last few weeks,” said an online representative for Wizards. “And we feel that our plans for Version 3.0 will solve all, if not all, of the major problems we’ve encountered. We fully expect MTGO 3.0 to revolutionize how players see the game.”

Players beta test the new interface.

For example, one of the most eagerly awaited features of version 2.0 was the Casual Trade room, an area on MODO where users could look through other players’ virtual binders and trade cards without having to post to the bulletin boards. The Casual Trade room turned out to be nothing but a pipedream for 2.0, but Wizards assures us that 3.0 will be different. “I know we disappointed a lot of people by not properly testing the trade room, but we’re going to make up for our blunders in 3.0 with the new ‘Real Trade’ feature. Players will be able to actually sit down at real tables and trade their real cards with real friends. How’s that for thinking outside the box!”

WOTC officials seemed confident that the new server would also be far more stable than the current version. “I think players will be extremely happy with the new interface. Games won’t crash, cards won’t trigger randomly, misclicks will be a thing of the past, and every player will get their very own unique, fully animated 3D avatar that looks exactly like them. And best of all, 3.0 is completely wireless; you won’t even have to log into your computer!”

The Magic community was already abuzz with the news, and opinions were mixed. “I don’t get it,” said Volrath69 in a post to a discussion forum. “Paper cards? Who’s going to want to shell out money for Magic cards printed on paper? I mean, come on, paper? I’ll stick with my digital cards, thank you very much.” Other posters shared Volrath69’s skepticism, fearing that new physical cards would destroy the resale value of their digital collections.

But Wizards insists that players just need to give 3.0 a chance. “People always resist change. I know the idea of paper cards seems ludicrous, but I truly believe that once people get used to playing with them, they’ll realize how much easier and more convenient it is. Magic is supposed to be fun, and MTGO version 3.0 is designed to bring the fun back to the game.”

Beta testing for MTGO 3.0 is expected to begin in living rooms all over the world next week.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!