Renton, WA -- The attention of the casual Magic community is being called to a small but important section of the new Mirrodin rules concerning Mindslaver, a powerful rare artifact that promises to be useful if your opponent needs a break from thinking through his actions. The rule, previously thought unnecessary to highlight due to the power of common sense, reminds players that a player who steals control of their turn does not also control their non-game actions, like whether they will use the restroom, eat their Ultra-Pro sleeves, or watch 'Gigli' without some form of eye protection.

Unfamiliar with the rule, players around the globe began testing Mirrodin with proxies at their local shops. They quickly became enamored to the card after a thought-provoking post appeared on www.mtgnews.com - a veritable Mecca of brilliant tech and revolutionary deck ideas. Aside from several incoherent and incomplete thoughts, the poster grandly boasted of getting an opponent to shave his head rather than be disqualified for disobeying the Mindslaver's demands.

Around the country, games quickly degenerated into "Simon Says" and attempts to stall turns long enough to get a soda-filled opponent to wet himself atop one of the all-telling metal folding chairs they send you bunches of whenever you open a card store. Stories of other deviant strategies have been mentioned around the web, many of which involve forcing people to trade away their entire binders for shiny 8th edition foils, another aspect of Magic that facilitates mind control.

Mark Rosewater was quick to comment on this morning's announcement. "It just goes to show the danger inherent in relying on filthy adulterous spoilers. Without our gentle hand of instruction, dangerous things can happen. One minute you're gawking at Roar of the Kha, the next your best friend is sitting across the kitchen table with a Squee's Toy proxied to be a Mindslaver, and he's trying to get you to drink leaky radiator fluid. You're shaking the foundations of the universe when you perpetuate crimes like this."

Off the record, another Wizards employee explained that originally the rules allowed for such dirty tactics, but the developers quickly remedied the situation the third time Rosewater made someone race around the office confessing that Yoda would lose pitifully to Gandalf in basketball. Naked.

The rule, 507.3c, printed below, includes a set of examples so that there can be no doubt that when you are under the effects of Mindslaver, the First Amendment holds sway over you.

507.3c The controller of another player's turn can't make choices or decisions for that player that aren't called for by the rules, or by any objects. The controller also can't make any choices or decisions for the player that would be called for by the tournament rules.

Example: The player whose turn it is still chooses whether he or she leaves to visit the restroom, trades a card to someone else, takes an intentional draw, or calls a judge about an error or infraction.

So, there you have it. To recap it all in one sentence: the Magic rules now take on the duty of reminding you that, yes, bladder control is still your own personal war over which you have full control.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Renton, WA -- The attention of the casual Magic community is being called to a small but important section of the new Mirrodin rules concerning Mindslaver, a powerful rare artifact that promises to be useful if your opponent needs a break from thinking through his actions. The rule, previously thought unnecessary to highlight due to the power of common sense, reminds players that a player who steals control of their turn does not also control their non-game actions, like whether they will use the restroom, eat their Ultra-Pro sleeves, or watch 'Gigli' without some form of eye protection.

Unfamiliar with the rule, players around the globe began testing Mirrodin with proxies at their local shops. They quickly became enamored to the card after a thought-provoking post appeared on www.mtgnews.com - a veritable Mecca of brilliant tech and revolutionary deck ideas. Aside from several incoherent and incomplete thoughts, the poster grandly boasted of getting an opponent to shave his head rather than be disqualified for disobeying the Mindslaver's demands.

Around the country, games quickly degenerated into "Simon Says" and attempts to stall turns long enough to get a soda-filled opponent to wet himself atop one of the all-telling metal folding chairs they send you bunches of whenever you open a card store. Stories of other deviant strategies have been mentioned around the web, many of which involve forcing people to trade away their entire binders for shiny 8th edition foils, another aspect of Magic that facilitates mind control.

Mark Rosewater was quick to comment on this morning's announcement. "It just goes to show the danger inherent in relying on filthy adulterous spoilers. Without our gentle hand of instruction, dangerous things can happen. One minute you're gawking at Roar of the Kha, the next your best friend is sitting across the kitchen table with a Squee's Toy proxied to be a Mindslaver, and he's trying to get you to drink leaky radiator fluid. You're shaking the foundations of the universe when you perpetuate crimes like this."

Off the record, another Wizards employee explained that originally the rules allowed for such dirty tactics, but the developers quickly remedied the situation the third time Rosewater made someone race around the office confessing that Yoda would lose pitifully to Gandalf in basketball. Naked.

The rule, 507.3c, printed below, includes a set of examples so that there can be no doubt that when you are under the effects of Mindslaver, the First Amendment holds sway over you.

507.3c The controller of another player's turn can't make choices or decisions for that player that aren't called for by the rules, or by any objects. The controller also can't make any choices or decisions for the player that would be called for by the tournament rules.

Example: The player whose turn it is still chooses whether he or she leaves to visit the restroom, trades a card to someone else, takes an intentional draw, or calls a judge about an error or infraction.

So, there you have it. To recap it all in one sentence: the Magic rules now take on the duty of reminding you that, yes, bladder control is still your own personal war over which you have full control.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!