The word barn is frequently heard in today’s Magic: the Gathering lingo along side of such terms as “cuts” and “stains”. Some Magic players use it so frequently that they have integrated it into common usage in their working environment. Local kitchen help can be heard shouting “Barn!” in broken English as they handle food orders.

Origins of the Barn

But where did this word come from that distinguishes so much of the Magic: the Gathering social structure? The word is most often attributed to Peter “PTR” Szigeti, back when he was still living in the California area. He used this phrase to describe the reaction fans of Magic players have then they are around their idols. They almost cling to them: whereas a groupie just goes faint at the site of their object of desire, these fans just tried to please them and leech off of their fame and success, almost like a lamprey or barnacle.

Lucy puts Linus in his place.

A barnacle is a small shellfish that grows in saltwater, attaching itself to a rather stationary object and siphoning off nutrients from it, or gathering the necessary foodstuffs from its surroundings. The object it attaches itself to is referred to as the hull, which is exactly what PTR started calling himself and other renowned players who attracted these sorts of fans.

After awhile the word barnacle grew too tiresome and too long to shout out disdainfully at random people. So eventually it got shortened to simply “barn”. It was much easier to spit out angrily: “Stop following me you barn” than “Get away you crazy Barnacle”. Also, the word barn dates back to the classics, such as Dumb & Dumber, where lines such as “Thanks barn, there ya go.” can be found. Even Harry and Lloyd knew how to play the game.

Barns & Hulls

A big problem for many hulls is how exactly they should train their barns to act. No one wants a stainy barn, because that would be cuts. A proper example of a good barn is Eric “Danger” Taylor. This man is properly trained. But like any good master, the hull needs to know to not abuse its barn and to ask nicely for everything. EDT will provide support in its hulls achievements, transportations, clothing, food, and money. This is much more than other barns.

"No one wants a stainy barn, because that would be cuts."

Another amazing Barn is Matt Sitarski who barns off of Craig Krempals. They are rarely seen without each other. What makes Matt a barn rather than just a pal is that Craig is a slightly better magic player and has more PT points, if Matt even has any.

This is not to say that Craig is not a Barn himself. One hull can be someone else’s barn. This leads to a convoluted string of barns and barns' barns. For example, if Joe was Jamie’s barn and Jamie was Jesse’s Barn then by proxy Joe would be Jesse’s barn by association. Since Joe is the lowest barn he has to answer to everyone higher up. Now this chain could go infinite and Joe could have a lot of answering to do, or it could only go to Jesse.

Barnstorms

An interesting term that was coined recently was the word “barn storm”, derived from the word:

barnstorm (verb) -

1. Tour the country making political speeches, giving lectures, or presenting plays
"The presidential candidates are busy barnstorming this month"

2. Appear at county fairs and carnivals as a stunt flier and parachute jumper

The new use of it in magic has very little to do with the original definition, merely a perversion of it using the new definition of the word barn. Now, a barnstorm represents a group of barns swarming around any one hull, clamoring for his/her attention. In essence, storming the hull.

For example, anytime Jon Finkel enters a magic tournament in Japan he is instantly barnstormed by Japanese asking for

Barns looking to storm the hull.

him to sign everything from their bodies and cell phones to pieces of paper and magic cards. Likewise, Kai is sometimes barnstormed in the US at tournaments by little children looking for a glimpse at their magical hero and a chance for him to sign their favorite card.

Some, like Zvi, have ways of defending themselves from barns. By making himself look inhospitable and constantly shuffling around, barns do not have time to latch on. They often try while he is playing, as seen in the background here, the amount of them might even be considered a barnstorm, but after the match he quickly reverts to his prior behavior.


Get Your Own Barn

To catch a barn you need to make yourself seem important. Most people with barns really are not that important, they only act like it. To keep your barn you need to make them feel like they add to your importance, thereby making them important. Just lie a lot, like you’re trying to get a girl in bed, and you’ll definitely score a barn.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

The word barn is frequently heard in today’s Magic: the Gathering lingo along side of such terms as “cuts” and “stains”. Some Magic players use it so frequently that they have integrated it into common usage in their working environment. Local kitchen help can be heard shouting “Barn!” in broken English as they handle food orders.

Origins of the Barn

But where did this word come from that distinguishes so much of the Magic: the Gathering social structure? The word is most often attributed to Peter “PTR” Szigeti, back when he was still living in the California area. He used this phrase to describe the reaction fans of Magic players have then they are around their idols. They almost cling to them: whereas a groupie just goes faint at the site of their object of desire, these fans just tried to please them and leech off of their fame and success, almost like a lamprey or barnacle.

Lucy puts Linus in his place.

A barnacle is a small shellfish that grows in saltwater, attaching itself to a rather stationary object and siphoning off nutrients from it, or gathering the necessary foodstuffs from its surroundings. The object it attaches itself to is referred to as the hull, which is exactly what PTR started calling himself and other renowned players who attracted these sorts of fans.

After awhile the word barnacle grew too tiresome and too long to shout out disdainfully at random people. So eventually it got shortened to simply “barn”. It was much easier to spit out angrily: “Stop following me you barn” than “Get away you crazy Barnacle”. Also, the word barn dates back to the classics, such as Dumb & Dumber, where lines such as “Thanks barn, there ya go.” can be found. Even Harry and Lloyd knew how to play the game.

Barns & Hulls

A big problem for many hulls is how exactly they should train their barns to act. No one wants a stainy barn, because that would be cuts. A proper example of a good barn is Eric “Danger” Taylor. This man is properly trained. But like any good master, the hull needs to know to not abuse its barn and to ask nicely for everything. EDT will provide support in its hulls achievements, transportations, clothing, food, and money. This is much more than other barns.

"No one wants a stainy barn, because that would be cuts."

Another amazing Barn is Matt Sitarski who barns off of Craig Krempals. They are rarely seen without each other. What makes Matt a barn rather than just a pal is that Craig is a slightly better magic player and has more PT points, if Matt even has any.

This is not to say that Craig is not a Barn himself. One hull can be someone else’s barn. This leads to a convoluted string of barns and barns' barns. For example, if Joe was Jamie’s barn and Jamie was Jesse’s Barn then by proxy Joe would be Jesse’s barn by association. Since Joe is the lowest barn he has to answer to everyone higher up. Now this chain could go infinite and Joe could have a lot of answering to do, or it could only go to Jesse.

Barnstorms

An interesting term that was coined recently was the word “barn storm”, derived from the word:

barnstorm (verb) -

1. Tour the country making political speeches, giving lectures, or presenting plays
"The presidential candidates are busy barnstorming this month"

2. Appear at county fairs and carnivals as a stunt flier and parachute jumper

The new use of it in magic has very little to do with the original definition, merely a perversion of it using the new definition of the word barn. Now, a barnstorm represents a group of barns swarming around any one hull, clamoring for his/her attention. In essence, storming the hull.

For example, anytime Jon Finkel enters a magic tournament in Japan he is instantly barnstormed by Japanese asking for

Barns looking to storm the hull.

him to sign everything from their bodies and cell phones to pieces of paper and magic cards. Likewise, Kai is sometimes barnstormed in the US at tournaments by little children looking for a glimpse at their magical hero and a chance for him to sign their favorite card.

Some, like Zvi, have ways of defending themselves from barns. By making himself look inhospitable and constantly shuffling around, barns do not have time to latch on. They often try while he is playing, as seen in the background here, the amount of them might even be considered a barnstorm, but after the match he quickly reverts to his prior behavior.


Get Your Own Barn

To catch a barn you need to make yourself seem important. Most people with barns really are not that important, they only act like it. To keep your barn you need to make them feel like they add to your importance, thereby making them important. Just lie a lot, like you’re trying to get a girl in bed, and you’ll definitely score a barn.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!