Magic-Inspired Fatty Meals

It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.

Here's a nice little low-fat chili for you fatties to feast on.

#1) "Mountain, Pup, Go"

(Better get some help from your mom, unless you want to get cuts all over your fat, clumsy fingers.)

1 chopped small onion
1 chopped green bell pepper
3/4 cup chopped celery
2 and 1/4 cup water
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
30 oz. canned diced tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup tomato paste
3 vegetable bouillon cubes, standard size (any brand is fine)
1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
1 tbsp chili powder (not a good pot substitute)
1/2 tsp cumin
30 oz. canned, rinsed and drained kidney or pinto beans

Combine onion, bell pepper, celery, 3/4 cup of water and garlic in large saucepan. Cook over medium to high heat, stir it occasionally. Do this for six to eight minutes or until the veggies are tender.

Then, add tomatoes with juice, water, tomato paste, bouillon, cilantro, chili powder and cumin and -BAM!!1-. Stir the ingredients well. Stir in beans, bring the whole mess to a boil and cover. Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, for 45 minutes. Serve with sour cream if you like, but that's ++ fatty points.

And so ends our first installment of "Magic-Inspired Fatty Meals", until next time, may you topdeck a gym membership and mise a few pounds off you lazy dork.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Another Correction to 1800 Room
• DCI Rotates Extended
• Valentine's Day Quietly Comes, Goes, For World's Magic Players

Magic-Inspired Fatty Meals

It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.It's a well-known fact that the average Magic : The Gathering player is grotesquely overweight. If we want our favorite hobby to be acknowledged and respected by the general non-magic playing public (sheep), we need to shed those unwanted pounds, after all, those bastards are nothing without their friendly stereotypes.

Here's a nice little low-fat chili for you fatties to feast on.

#1) "Mountain, Pup, Go"

(Better get some help from your mom, unless you want to get cuts all over your fat, clumsy fingers.)

1 chopped small onion
1 chopped green bell pepper
3/4 cup chopped celery
2 and 1/4 cup water
3 cloves finely chopped garlic
30 oz. canned diced tomatoes, undrained
1/4 cup tomato paste
3 vegetable bouillon cubes, standard size (any brand is fine)
1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
1 tbsp chili powder (not a good pot substitute)
1/2 tsp cumin
30 oz. canned, rinsed and drained kidney or pinto beans

Combine onion, bell pepper, celery, 3/4 cup of water and garlic in large saucepan. Cook over medium to high heat, stir it occasionally. Do this for six to eight minutes or until the veggies are tender.

Then, add tomatoes with juice, water, tomato paste, bouillon, cilantro, chili powder and cumin and -BAM!!1-. Stir the ingredients well. Stir in beans, bring the whole mess to a boil and cover. Reduce heat to low and cook, stirring occasionally, for 45 minutes. Serve with sour cream if you like, but that's ++ fatty points.

And so ends our first installment of "Magic-Inspired Fatty Meals", until next time, may you topdeck a gym membership and mise a few pounds off you lazy dork.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Another Correction to 1800 Room
• DCI Rotates Extended
• Valentine's Day Quietly Comes, Goes, For World's Magic Players