Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver
Recently, the Sideboard’s Fantasy Pro Tour has gained considerable popularity: New Orleans’ contest alone boasted over 2,000 competitors. With this increased participation, came increased rivalry. Players were hushed over their top picks, which included Bob Maher Jr, Jon Finkel, and virtual unknown, Jesse Cornelissen. The player, whose best finish is top 256 at London ‘00, was quickly recognized as "somehow linked" to two-time Pro Tour finalist, Kamiel Cornelissen, and garned more fantasy selections than Pro Tour regulars such as Gary Wise and Brian Kibler. "I thought it was his brother, or like, a cousin or something," commented one participant, Richard Haoen. Entering the tournament, Jesse was widely expected to deliver at least a top 32 finish.
Sadly, however, he did not deliver, dropping after the fourth round and finishing in 322nd place. Some speculated manascrew, others playskill, and yet others blamed the three Tsabo’s Web in the sideboard of his obsolete mono-blue illusions/donate deck, which hosed a Rishadan Port threat that never came. A disapointed Ernest Millares, whose Cornelissen-anchored team lost to Brian Hubble’s in a close race, commented "Who is this guy? Does he even know Kamiel? Someone just said he was gonna mise, so I picked him. What a dud!" Terry Tsang, veteran fantasy drafter, put it bluntly and, perhaps, most accurately, "Jesse Cornelissen is Jesse Cornel-Shit." The current buzz on the Fantasy Pro Tour San Diego airways is Dwayne Finkel, who may or may not be related to Jon Finkel in some way.
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