The Pet Thread....awwwww so cute!

[The Emperor]

RULES FOR CATS TO LIVE BY

by Mirri (Paladin en-Vec's cat)


BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a humans bare foot.

HAMPERING:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"

1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.

4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.

5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.

6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.

WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will over you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often.
And don't forget guests.



pictures of Mirri coming soon...

[Dantes]

You named your cat after a Magic character?

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Dantes
You named your cat after a Magic character?

Yep, I did indeed. When I first got him I thought he was a female though (hence the name) but it stuck anyway.

[Dantes]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
Yep, I did indeed. When I first got him I thought he was a female though (hence the name) but it stuck anyway.

I named my old cat "Milhouse" after President Nixon.

[LethalSalami225]

my cat does everything on the list...

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Dantes
I named my old cat "Milhouse" after President Nixon.

Excellent. I was never really a "cat fan" until I got Mirri. He is so unique. He has to be one of the most intelligent animals I have ever owned.

[LethalSalami225]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
Yep, I did indeed. When I first got him I thought he was a female though (hence the name) but it stuck anyway.

wow... you must have imparied vision lol (or you didnt bother to check it out.)

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by LethalSalami225
wow... you must have imparied vision lol (or you didnt bother to check it out.)

He was already an adult and was fixed when I got him. Even the vet told me that it isn't an easy thing to detect in adult cats.

[LÏTHÏÜM]

I got a cat named Gizmo. He does everything on he list, he excells at hairballs on furnature, he prefers my comfy bed. Then he is a good at annoyance too. When your at the computer he sits in front of it, and smacks you with his tail, or he pats your leg till you let him crawl in your lap. Hes soooo considerate:rolleyes:

[Oddity]

I'm allergic to cats and my 4 dogs are better than any 4 cats any day of the week anyway. So dogs > cats.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Oddity
I'm allergic to cats and my 4 dogs are better than any 4 cats any day of the week anyway. So dogs > cats.

I like them both. My sister has a Doberman Pinscher.

[LÏTHÏÜM]

I have 2 dogs, a cat, a tarantula, 3 geckos and a fishtank! I got a zoo goin on here!

[Dantes]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
I like them both. My sister has a Doberman Pinscher.

I used to have a cat. He died about six years ago. We have dogs now. A Collie-Dalmation mix (Elvis), and A Labrador Retriever (Gunner "Bucky" Tremaine).

[KT]

In the Dogs v. Cats issue I bring to issue the ways in which each may sometimes show their affection.

Happy to see you(so you can feed them)=Purring, cruising around your legs.

Dogs happy that you came back...not that they had any idea you were really gone(not entirely true)=Wagging their tail furiously, and occaisionally being so excited they piss themselves.

I prefer a little self control, besides...cats don't show their affections until they really do identify with you, so when you get affection back its in spades. Dogs love everyone that comes in thedoor, hard to feel special when someone else walks in the room.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by LÏTHÏÜM
I have 2 dogs, a cat, a tarantula, 3 geckos and a fishtank! I got a zoo goin on here!

A zoo! Excellent!!! Animals are savage tech as long as maintenance is kept up on them.

Originally posted by Dantes
I used to have a cat. He died about six years ago. We have dogs now. A Collie-Dalmation mix (Elvis), and A Labrador Retriever (Gunner "Bucky" Tremaine).

I used to have a border collie and it was savage, savage tech.

[Dantes]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
I used to have a border collie and it was savage, savage tech.

He's not treally a border-collie per se...

He's kind of wierd. He has the face and fur of a collie, but the (slightly larger) build of a Dalmation. He's as intelligent as any thing, but the Dalmation in him makes him a little jumpy.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Dantes
He's not treally a border-collie per se...

He's kind of wierd. He has the face and fur of a collie, but the (slightly larger) build of a Dalmation. He's as intelligent as any thing, but the Dalmation in him makes him a little jumpy.

Dalmations are cool too. If I had the time to dedicate toward a dog I would get a Rottweiler.

[Dantes]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
If I had the time to dedicate toward a dog I would get a Rottweiler.

Why would you want anything that was bread to kill?

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Dantes
Why would you want anything that was bread to kill?

Nahhh...Rotties and Dobies are such docile animals.

[LÏTHÏÜM]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
A zoo! Excellent!!! Animals are savage tech as long as maintenance is kept up on them.


Its a chore everyday, but they are the happiest campers in the world, I mean for how much shit my cat gives me, I'm always bein nice and petting him till he falls asleep...oooooh I love my Mow Mow (i call my cat that for some reason, he dont Meow, he Mows lol)

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by LÏTHÏÜM
oooooh I love my Mow Mow

The soft and tender side of LÏTHÏÜM, lol

[LÏTHÏÜM]

Its the only soft side I have, my white underbelly lol...


DAMN MY TATTOO ITCHES!!!!!!!

[SpiritMongoose]

cats > dogs.

dogs smell and make too much of a mess for me to want to keep many around. Cats are self-reliant, clean, and i think they're a hell of a lot cuter than any dog.

I'll take an animal that uses it's own bathroom instead of shitting all over my carpets.

PeV, get those pics soon.

I wub kitties. :)

[Pale Mage]

Originally posted by SpiritMongoose
cats > dogs.

dogs smell and make too much of a mess for me to want to keep many around. Cats are self-reliant, clean, and i think they're a hell of a lot cuter than any dog.

I'll take an animal that uses it's own bathroom instead of shitting all over my carpets.

PeV, get those pics soon.

I wub kitties. :)
Okay, I don't have a preference in the cat vs. dog war, but I just gotta say that any dog that's shitting all over your carpets is either ill-trained or neglected as hell.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Pale Mage
Okay, I don't have a preference in the cat vs. dog war, but I just gotta say that any dog that's shitting all over your carpets is either ill-trained or neglected as hell.

Excellent point. Animals know what they have been taught.

[Pale Mage]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
Excellent point. Animals know what they have been taught.
Yup. Mine know to drag the intruders outside before disemboweling them. Mopping up blood is not savage tech.

[left sock]

I had a shetland sheepdog, named Lady (not after lady and the tramp).

[SpiritMongoose]

well he's a watchdog, so he doesnt come inside much, and when he does he usually hits the paper, but last time he came in...

...did i mention dog shit STINKS?

[left sock]

Originally posted by SpiritMongoose
well he's a watchdog, so he doesnt come inside much, and when he does he usually hits the paper, but last time he came in...

...did i mention dog shit STINKS?

:confused: Doesn't most shit stink?:confused:

[SpiritMongoose]

Originally posted by left sock
:confused: Doesn't most shit stink?:confused:

yes most shit stinks.

dog shit, however, STINKS.

[BobtheJunkie]

I have a vicious, professionally trained attack-chihuahua. Don't fuck with me, or your ankles will SUFFER!!!

Seriously, I have a chihuahua. He's the craziest little creature I have ever owned. I like him.

A cat by any other name is still a sneaky little furball who shits behind the couch.

[DarkRedeemer]

Two cats, Kit and Cap. Kit is short for Christmas as that's when we got her so that's what we named her. Cap is short for Cappacino as his fur is the color of swirled cappacino. I've had 5 dogs and 4 cats in my lifetime.

[Oddity]

Originally posted by DarkRedeemer
Two cats, Kit and Cap. Kit is short for Christmas as that's when we got her so that's what we named her. Cap is short for Cappacino as his fur is the color of swirled cappacino. I've had 5 dogs and 4 cats in my lifetime.

Kill your cats plzkthxbye.

[left sock]

I might be getting a hedgehog! Oh happy day!

[kale]

Cats are far too bitchy and independant for me. I've got a 6 year old Border-Collie(hehe, he's the runt too...so fat and short) named Phoenix. Best.Dog.Ever. Being a sheep dog, he'll often round up other dogs if they're smaller than him, it's so cute.

[DarkRedeemer]

Originally posted by Oddity
Kill your cats plzkthxbye.


But then I'll have less advantage in the drafts. ;)

[Oddity]

Originally posted by DarkRedeemer
But then I'll have less advantage in the drafts. ;)

If you don't...I will.

http://d21c.com/walpurgis9/lurid5/part1/0058.gif

[badguy]

Originally posted by BobtheJunkie
I have a vicious, professionally trained attack-chihuahua. Don't fuck with me, or your ankles will SUFFER!!!

Seriously, I have a chihuahua. He's the craziest little creature I have ever owned. I like him.


TESTIFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



i used to have a dobermen pincher and a chihuahua. the chihuahua was the more crazier animal.

now i have a husky and a yorkshire terrie. the yorkie is annoying!

oh yea and i love my kitty cat :)

[Killjoy]

M'Lady's doggie just died yesterday...

She is NOT happy :(

It was almost 14 years old though, Daschunds (weenie dawg y'know)... they're only supposed to live for like 10-12 years.

Hell, my oldest friend's dog just died last month too (no I'm not a cures she was really old too). It was practically my dog, I'd known her sooo long and was over basically all the time, she was an amazingly well-behaved German Shepherd.

*misses the dogs* :(

[left sock]

Originally posted by iron_monkey
M'Lady's doggie just died yesterday...

She is NOT happy :(

It was almost 14 years old though, Daschunds (weenie dawg y'know)... they're only supposed to live for like 10-12 years.

Hell, my oldest friend's dog just died last month too (no I'm not a cures she was really old too). It was practically my dog, I'd known her sooo long and was over basically all the time, she was an amazingly well-behaved German Shepherd.

*misses the dogs* :(

I wanted to get a daschund, but they get back problems too often.:(

[Killjoy]

Yeah, apparently. (I mean they're weiner shaped? What did 'they' think would happen?)
The missus' folks were lucky, Fritz (yes they named the Daschund Fritz, derf derf) never really had back troubles... He was by all accounts a singularly good dog.

[Pale Mage]

Originally posted by iron_monkey
M'Lady's doggie just died yesterday...

She is NOT happy :(

It was almost 14 years old though, Daschunds (weenie dawg y'know)... they're only supposed to live for like 10-12 years.

Hell, my oldest friend's dog just died last month too (no I'm not a cures she was really old too). It was practically my dog, I'd known her sooo long and was over basically all the time, she was an amazingly well-behaved German Shepherd.

*misses the dogs* :(
Sorry to hear about your losses.

[blisterguy]

i have kittens (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blisterguy/).

i'm allergic to cats too, but if i live with them i become immune.

[badguy]

Originally posted by blisterguy
i have kittens (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blisterguy/).

i'm allergic to cats too, but if i live with them i become immune.


KITTY!

[blisterguy]

Originally posted by badguy
KITTY!
don't make the kitties take out a restraining order on you, baguy...

[Oddity]

Originally posted by blisterguy
i have kittens (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blisterguy/).

i'm allergic to cats too, but if i live with them i become immune.

Wait. You can develop an immunity to cats? Or more precisely, the dander they leave everywhere? Weird.

Wait a second...how long have you lived with them, if you aren't immune already?

[LÏTHÏÜM]

Originally posted by badguy
KITTY!

You mean Mow Mow!?

[Arc]

http://www.realmofarc.homestead.com/files/macandJeremy.jpg

That's my golden retriever, Mac.

One of my cats recently had kittens (see the I just shot a cat in the head thread!).

[blisterguy]

Originally posted by Oddity
Wait. You can develop an immunity to cats? Or more precisely, the dander they leave everywhere? Weird.
Wait a second...how long have you lived with them, if you aren't immune already?
i'm allergic to animal hair, but i spent my childhood with dogs and cats in the house and it wasn't a problem.
once i left home, it flared up again. i've had these two (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blisterguy/) for 6 months and i'm mostly immune to other peoples pets again now.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by LÏTHÏÜM
You mean Mow Mow!?

LOL!!!

I'm never going to let you live this down...LÏTHÏÜM

[darigaaz]

as you all know of my pooch Chase, I have a cat named Mystic. He just loves Q-tips and people, lap cat all the way, you sit down, he's right on you.

[darigaaz]

Originally posted by Arc
http://www.realmofarc.homestead.com/files/macandJeremy.jpg

That's my golden retriever, Mac.

One of my cats recently had kittens (see the I just shot a cat in the head thread!).

which ones the dog?

[The Emperor]

That pic sort of looks like Arc has just stalked and killed a dog...

[Dantes]

Originally posted by blisterguy
i have kittens (http://www.livejournal.com/users/blisterguy/).


What a disturbing peak into the head of blisterjung.

[Arc]

Originally posted by darigaaz
which ones the dog?

The one with vampire fangs.

[darigaaz]

Originally posted by Arc
The one with vampire fangs.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by darigaaz


Genius!

[darigaaz]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
Genius!

nah,














































































































well if you say so:p

[Arc]

Hell, I thought it was funny too.

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by Arc
Hell, I thought it was funny too.

I think it would have been perfect though if he made you throw up the horns of hell along with everything else...

[m0ped]

I shall introduce you to Ali.

[Killjoy]

Aaaagh! That scary cat live in the same town as me!

:trey:

Oh well.... it's cute enough :D

[KamiKaze]

Originally posted by LÏTHÏÜM
I got a cat named Gizmo. He does everything on he list, he excells at hairballs on furnature, he prefers my comfy bed. Then he is a good at annoyance too. When your at the computer he sits in front of it, and smacks you with his tail, or he pats your leg till you let him crawl in your lap. Hes soooo considerate:rolleyes:

lol, my cat is named gizmo as well. for a while, we had another one named gadget, but she had some manner of intestine problem, and died

[blood4blood84]

the only pet i have is my weiner lol

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by blood4blood84
the only pet i have is my weiner lol

TMI, blood...TMI.

[blood4blood84]

Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
TMI, blood...TMI.

TMNT, PeV...TMNT

[The Emperor]

Originally posted by blood4blood84
TMNT, PeV...TMNT

Let's talk in code, Dude..lollerskates!

[blisterguy]

Originally posted by blood4blood84
TMNT, PeV...TMNT
heroes in a half shell.

[sliver]

I have 3 cats, 2 dogs, fish, and we used to own 2 chinchillas. Thank god they are gone i was seriously consdidering how well they swam in the Mosel. :(

[blisterguy]

Originally posted by m0ped
I shall introduce you to Ali.
your asshole cat stole my garbage cd!




i wondered where it went...

[vixis]

I've got a cat (Frazzle) and a dog (Chewbacca... heh). I had the cat for about six months 'fore I got the dog, so the cat beat the dog up enough when it was really small so that it learned respect... now the dog outweighs it by 85 pounds but doesn't mess with the cat too much.

Interesting side story - Was out walking with my dog, when he takes off about 50 feet and starts barking like a psycho. Turns out he had a woodchuck, but didn't know what to do with it. Woodchuck kept trying to get him but the dog just dodged around kept barking at it fro about 10 mins... since he wasn't gonna kill the damn thing I just decided to let it get away...

However next time I'm bringing a weapon to get it.

[Spiffy]

*skips to the punchline:*

I WANNA SEE SOME DAMN PUSSY!

[Lucky_Donut]

http://luckydonut.homestead.com/files/pictures/brena1.jpg

Breña.