View Full Version : Magic 'Snaps' (Yo Mama Jokes)
psygno
04-30-2003, 11:04 PM
Here's an old-ass thing I wrote for the Dojo like a million years ago. I keep recycling it and sending it everywhere because I like to say 'I got published on the Dojo, and that matters a lot!' every now and then.
Anyway, that Saddamy post reminded me of this...so...enjoy...and come up with more! Yay! Etc! OK!!1
(Note: Some of these jokes won't make sense anymore because they refer to obscure combos etc that no longer have any relevance...or at least one of them does. I auto-carded all the references, assuming that they're all in the database.)
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Here are some magic-related yo-mama insults you can say to your opponent as your deck goes down in flames:
1. Yo mama's so old, she plays Beta Swamps.
2. Yo mama posed for Barrow Ghoul, but got rejected for being too dang ugly.
3. Yo mama's so nasty, her Fireblast comes out of her drawers.
4. Yo mama's nickname is "Squee's Toy"
5. Yo mama's so skinny, when she goes to a club they call her "Bone Dancer"
6. Yo mama's so stupid, she cast Sisay's Ring and was proud of it.
7. Yo mama's so stupid, she took a 300-card deck to a tourney and said "Altar THIS!...now I CAN'T lose!" (Refers to Altar of Dementia)
8. Yo mama's so nasty, she tapped a Forest and made it a Wasteland.
9. Yo mama's so stupid, she plays Exalted Dragons.
10. Yo mama's so fat, when she hangs in a tree they call her "Peaches". (Refers to Spike Feeder)
11. Yo mama's so nasty people mistake her for Stench of Decay.
12. Yo mama's so stupid, she can't understand the Portal rules.
13. Yo mama's so stupid, she prefers Phil Foglio card to Terese Nielsen cards. (I've been beating that horse for ages.)
14. Yo mama's so fat, she makes a Crash of Rhinos look like Mogg Flunkies.
15. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Metagame" was a social encounter.
16. Yo mama's so ugly, she deals 2 damage when she comes in to play.
17. Yo mama's so nasty, her clear sleeves are tinted brown after the third turn.
18. Yo mama's so ugly, she's restricted in Type I, banned in Type II.
19. Yo mama's so stupid, she thought "Pro-Tour" refered to professional card players instead of cheating geeks on ESPN2.
20. Yo mama's so stupid, she watched the ESPN2 broadcast of the M:TG Worlds as though it was something more than a 30-minute M:TG infomercial.
Spiffy
04-30-2003, 11:13 PM
You're such a n00b, that you still start "Top 10..." threads in these forums. STFU, n00b.
psygno
04-30-2003, 11:16 PM
Originally posted by Spiffy
You're such a n00b, that you still start "Top 10..." threads in these forums. STFU, n00b.
That was not a top ten list. Not only did it not say 'Top 10' anything, it contained 20 items. So, you know, STFU Don00b.
AtomicDrunk
05-01-2003, 01:33 AM
Perhaps instead of accusing you of beginning a top 10 list, he should have merely informed you that the aforementioned list is not funny.
psygno
05-01-2003, 01:59 AM
Originally posted by AtomicDrunk
Perhaps instead of accusing you of beginning a top 10 list, he should have merely informed you that the aforementioned list is not funny.
Aw, you hurt my feelings.
Really, though, man...Get a sense of humor. Squee's Toy is a good one.
psygno
05-01-2003, 03:19 AM
Originally posted by RufusTheStuntBum
My out of control, raging hard on just came to a crashing halt because of this thread!
This is what you do when you have an out of control, raging hard-on? Browse MiseTings? ;)
psygno
05-01-2003, 03:26 AM
Just as an aside: I never said this post was hilarious or anything. It was written when most of the cards listed were T2 legal. Not only can't I remember that, I can't remember what I was thinking when I wrote this stuff.
It's one of those "Dang, I actually wrote this" kinds of funny. ;) Which, I guess, makes it funny to me and laughable to you. Hehe.
theorgg
05-01-2003, 03:45 AM
I thought the Crop Rotation joke was savage!
The rest are on par with the second-tier Impulse jokes. Considering there's four tiers of Impulse jokes, that ain't bad.
sliver
05-01-2003, 05:18 AM
Heh what exactly do you have to download on bit torrent? there are a few of them do you need them all? and where exactly do you get ragnorak itself? Any help would be appreciated.
sliver
05-01-2003, 05:26 AM
Originally posted by RufusTheStuntBum
Bit torrent is like a person 2 person sharing thing.
Install it, and then open the file I put in the other link. It will start an automatic download for the ragnarok online game client.
Bah im a retard. Sorry about the off topic post there guys seem to have misplaced my brain somewhere. Well thanks for the help rufus.
O'Brien
05-01-2003, 08:05 AM
Yo mama's so stupid she tried to sprinkle Prosbloom on her garden.
Yo mama's so fat when you give her Jump there's an Earthquake at eot.
Yo mama's so nasty Sedge Troll wouldn't touch her.
Yo mama's so ugly she blocked at Thicket Basilisk and it turned to stone.
Ok, these suck but whatever.
Yo mama's so stupid she reads Roy Spires and calls it strategy.
The Emperor
05-01-2003, 08:23 AM
Some of these were mildly entertaining...
whatever
*Cabal Coffee*
For all of you Misetingers just joining this thread, allow me to summarize the first post by giving you every bit of it that was anywhere near remotely funny.
Originally posted by psygno
4. Yo mama's nickname is "Squee's Toy"
12. Yo mama's so stupid, she can't understand the Portal rules.
13. Yo mama's so stupid, she prefers Phil Foglio card to Terese Nielsen cards. (I've been beating that horse for ages.)
16. Yo mama's so ugly, she deals 2 damage when she comes in to play.
That is all...kthxbye!
Originally posted by O'Brien
Yo mama's so stupid she tried to sprinkle Prosbloom on her garden.
Yo mama's so fat when you give her Jump there's an Earthquake at eot.
Yo mama's so nasty Sedge Troll wouldn't touch her.
Yo mama's so ugly she blocked at Thicket Basilisk and it turned to stone.
Ok, these suck but whatever.
Yo mama's so stupid she reads Roy Spires and calls it strategy.
Those were decent, and the worst of them (probably the 3rd) is twice as good as the originals. Ting...?:wise:
psygno
05-01-2003, 12:57 PM
Originally posted by BDD
For all of you Misetingers just joining this thread, allow me to summarize the first post by giving you every bit of it that was anywhere near remotely funny.
See, I told you guys the Squee's Toy one was funny. What really sucks is that in context most of them would be a lot better. Hmm. Let me go invent a time machine real quick and take you all back to the good ol' days when they were relevant. Actually, skip that...That would mean I would have been dating Crazy Jennifer who looks like Braids when she's excited...and she's excited all the time...So, screw the time machine, just pretend like Magic being broadcast on TV was a new idea, you were all even bigger scrubs than you are now and I was still thinking that getting booster dregs was really cool, and you'll get the picture. (Booster Dregs = Some guy comes into the shop you hang at, buys a few packs for the rares, leaves the rest on the counter and takes off. You, a total n00b, are allowed by the store guy to keep all those free cards! WOW!)
badguy
05-01-2003, 01:06 PM
your mommas a fat bitch who should of used a coat hanger on you when you where still a fetus.
wait thats not a "snap"
psygno
05-01-2003, 01:17 PM
Originally posted by badguy
your mommas a fat bitch who should of used a coat hanger on you when you where still a fetus.
Good thing for you that karma is nonsense.
badguy
05-01-2003, 01:18 PM
Originally posted by psygno
Good thing for you that karma is nonsense.
karma owes me
psygno
05-01-2003, 01:20 PM
Originally posted by badguy
karma owes me
Don't be in a rush to collect.
darigaaz
05-01-2003, 01:28 PM
Originally posted by psygno
Don't be in a rush to collect.
see psygno? you can ting in less than 40 sentences
The Emperor
05-01-2003, 01:30 PM
Originally posted by darigaaz
see psygno? you can ting in less than 40 sentences
Sort of...but he still had to get the judeo christian view point in there about karma...
darigaaz
05-01-2003, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by Paladin en-Vec
Sort of...but he still had to get the judeo christian view point in there about karma...
amen!.. er I mean indeed.....:D
Originally posted by psygno
See, I told you guys the Squee's Toy one was funny. What really sucks is that in context most of them would be a lot better. Hmm. Let me go invent a time machine real quick and take you all back to the good ol' days when they were relevant. Actually, skip that...That would mean I would have been dating Crazy Jennifer who looks like Braids when she's excited...and she's excited all the time...So, screw the time machine, just pretend like Magic being broadcast on TV was a new idea, you were all even bigger scrubs than you are now and I was still thinking that getting booster dregs was really cool, and you'll get the picture. (Booster Dregs = Some guy comes into the shop you hang at, buys a few packs for the rares, leaves the rest on the counter and takes off. You, a total n00b, are allowed by the store guy to keep all those free cards! WOW!)
psygno
05-01-2003, 02:23 PM
Originally posted by BDD
"Supo"
You got me there. I wish I was as inarticulate as you are. That way I could speak/type in grunts strung together by misspelled words and impress everyone by stating (pointing at) the obvious.
The Emperor
05-01-2003, 02:28 PM
Originally posted by psygno
You got me there. I wish I was as inarticulate as you are. That way I could speak/type in grunts strung together by misspelled words and impress everyone by stating (pointing at) the obvious.
Well, while I agree with you the idea of more concise posts sounds good also.
badguy
05-01-2003, 02:30 PM
Originally posted by psygno
You got me there. I wish I was as inarticulate as you are. That way I could speak/type in grunts strung together by misspelled words and impress everyone by stating (pointing at) the obvious.
no, i'm the one who speaks in grunts and misspelled words
Originally posted by psygno
You got me there. I wish I was as inarticulate as you are. That way I could speak/type in grunts strung together by misspelled words and impress everyone by stating (pointing at) the obvious.
What misspelled words? Obviously you are indeed referring to badguy, you worthless half-assed excuse for a human being.
psygno
05-02-2003, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by BDD
What misspelled words? Obviously you are indeed referring to badguy, you worthless half-assed excuse for a human being.
That was one of my new Official PGI(r) Canned Replies(tm) for retards I don't feel like addressing directly. As a matter of fact, so is this one.
Spiffy
05-02-2003, 09:46 PM
Originally posted by psygno
That was one of my new Official PGI(r) Canned Replies(tm) for retards I don't feel like addressing directly. As a matter of fact, so is this one.
Here's a canned reply for you:
STFU n00b!
Since when was karma judeo-christian??
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