Vancouver, BC -- Yesterday, Darren Ranger, a 19 year old Vancouver resident, attempted to shoplift a pack of cigarettes and a Big Turk chocolate bar from a local 7-11 convenience store, but was apprehended by vigilant clerk, Marcus Singh. Upon noticing Ranger slip the items into his jacket pocket, and then watching him move to exit the store, Ramda shouted “stop!” Ranger, realizing he had been caught, turned around, shrugged, returned the items to Singh, and said “Sorry dude...I was just trying to mise.” Ramda, unsatisfied with the answer, and abiding my 7-11 store policy, began dialing the police. Ranger pleaded with Gautama: “you call the cops, I’ll call the cops... we’ll both just get failure to agree on reality warnings. Dude-- I scooped”, to no avail.

Ranger was detained until Officer Henderson, of the Milton Police Force, arrived. When asked to describe the situation, Ranger explained “it was, uh, my turn, I laid a land, um, and then asked the dude whether or not I had paid for the chocolate bar or not, we couldn’t remember, so I...like said we should call the cops.” Henderson informed Ranger that he would be taken downtown for detainment, and sentencing. “How unlucky! That can’t be right...” protested Ranger, “Get Donais down here I’m gonna appeal that shit!” His request was denied, and Darren Ranger is now facing a six-month ban from society for “unlawful miseing in the first degree.”

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Vancouver, BC -- Yesterday, Darren Ranger, a 19 year old Vancouver resident, attempted to shoplift a pack of cigarettes and a Big Turk chocolate bar from a local 7-11 convenience store, but was apprehended by vigilant clerk, Marcus Singh. Upon noticing Ranger slip the items into his jacket pocket, and then watching him move to exit the store, Ramda shouted “stop!” Ranger, realizing he had been caught, turned around, shrugged, returned the items to Singh, and said “Sorry dude...I was just trying to mise.” Ramda, unsatisfied with the answer, and abiding my 7-11 store policy, began dialing the police. Ranger pleaded with Gautama: “you call the cops, I’ll call the cops... we’ll both just get failure to agree on reality warnings. Dude-- I scooped”, to no avail.

Ranger was detained until Officer Henderson, of the Milton Police Force, arrived. When asked to describe the situation, Ranger explained “it was, uh, my turn, I laid a land, um, and then asked the dude whether or not I had paid for the chocolate bar or not, we couldn’t remember, so I...like said we should call the cops.” Henderson informed Ranger that he would be taken downtown for detainment, and sentencing. “How unlucky! That can’t be right...” protested Ranger, “Get Donais down here I’m gonna appeal that shit!” His request was denied, and Darren Ranger is now facing a six-month ban from society for “unlawful miseing in the first degree.”

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!