Man Brutally Murders Young Boy After Buying Sleeves
Davis, CA — The infamous "Sleeve Slayer" was finally captured and taken into custody yesterday. Adam G. was arrested Tuesday in connection with a recent murder at the local card shop. On Saturday afternoon Adam G. walked into an unnamed sports card and gaming shop to purchase a box of "Ultra Pro" card sleeves for his extended deck. After opening the box, a witness quoted him as saying "What the hell? These sleeves are all different sizes. How am I supposed to qualify for the pro tour with this bull shit?" Officials say that he then went on a rampage and brutally stabbed and murdered a young boy known only as Wesley.
This doesn't come as a surprise to many gamers because many of the sleeve companies are notorious for making their sleeves a little too small or all different sizes. "I too have felt such frustration after opening a box of sleeves," Dale T. commented, "but I have learned to vent my frustration in other, more appropriate, ways."
Wesley's only friend Mike E. was asked for comment and he said, "Wesley will be missed by all of us. He wasn't good at magic, but he will be missed."
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