Wow.

There really is no Pyroblast. I used to hate Pyroblast like I've never hated any other card. Maybe that's because I was born to cast blue spells. I don't know. Anyway, it's gone now, and that means that there is like no way that red can now beat blue. They have Boil, and that's about it. There will be no more "Pyro your Tradewind during your discard". They will have to burn it. Which means less burn on you. They can't even attempt to get into counter wars, either. The most consistently powerful sideboard card ever printed is dead.

I think this calls for a tribute, in honor of a fallen enemy.

A long long time ago,
I can still remember how that Pyro used to make me smile
and I knew if I had a chance,
that I could blast that Tradewind's pants
and maybe, I'd be attacking, for a while.

But Sixth Edition made me shiver,
with no more stopping of Crystal Sliver
bad news on The Dojo, Sligh had lost its mojo.
I can't remember if Sligh cried, when "4 Pyroblast" left its side
but something touched me deep inside, the day the Pyro died.


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry,
yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Did you read the book of rules,
and can you find all of the holes,
if the rules lawyers tell you so?
Do you believe in R&D
Or that you paid that tourny fee, and can you teach me how to use combos?
Well, I know you're in e-league with me, cuz I saw you chatting in IRC
We both pulled out our decks, man I dig that Lim Dul's Hex
I was a lonely teenage boltin' buck, with a signed Cursed Scroll, and a burn-boy's luck,
but I knew I was pretty f*cked, the day the Pyro died. I started singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Now for one month, we've been on our own,
and the combo dot decs are really honed, but that's not how it used to be
When the Sligh player blasted the Sliver queen,
and sent in his Goblins for sixteen, in sleeves that cost a pretty penny
R&D's heads were in the ground, and combo cards were all around
Mind over Matter lurked, Pyroblast still worked
And while we read the rules for 6th, we prepared to take our licks
Cause our favorite card had left the mix, the day the Pyro, died. We were singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Learning "burning" and some mana curving
into ashes, the creatures were turning, his 20 life will never last
you just can't stop the Pyroblast
The other player said it shows no class, to burn someone out really faaaaaast
Now the tourny was in a smelly room, and the stench continued to loom
We all got up to leave, but there was no reprieve
'Cuz the judges started the next round then, and we knew in minutes, it'd
take us 10
Do you recall what was the feel the day the Pyro died, we started singing


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry


And there we were, now stuck with "Haste",
it all seemed like a big waste, with no spells left to cast again
So come on Sligh be nimble, Sligh be quick, Sligh will burn you out right quick,
'cuz fire is Sligh Player's only friend
And as I watched the strong blue mage, my hands were holding Shocks in rage
No amount of will, could break that blue mage's Chill
and as red spells filled my hand in spite, Jackal Pups that could not fight
I saw blue mage laughing with delight the day the Pyro died, he was singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry


I met a girl who cast some spells
and I asked her if all was well, but she just sighed and walked past
I went down to the Magic store
Where I'd cast Pyroblast months before, but the judge there said the Pyro wouldn't blast.
But in the streets the players screamed, Sligh players cried, and R&D dreamed
but not a spell was Pyroed, our card had took the high road
And the burn spells I admired most, the ones that made me say "you're toast"


They caught the last train for the coast, the day the Pyro died

So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


I guess the creative juices got flowing there for a moment.

John M. Shuler
-------------------------------------------------------------
I'll pay $3 for a glowstick that won't last half the night.
I'll pay $15 for a party that might be busted an hour later.
I'll pay $25 for a pill that could probably just be aspirin.
But I *WILL NOT* pay $2 for that big bottle of water!
- raver creed
-------------------------------------------------------------

- from The Dojo archives

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Wow.

There really is no Pyroblast. I used to hate Pyroblast like I've never hated any other card. Maybe that's because I was born to cast blue spells. I don't know. Anyway, it's gone now, and that means that there is like no way that red can now beat blue. They have Boil, and that's about it. There will be no more "Pyro your Tradewind during your discard". They will have to burn it. Which means less burn on you. They can't even attempt to get into counter wars, either. The most consistently powerful sideboard card ever printed is dead.

I think this calls for a tribute, in honor of a fallen enemy.

A long long time ago,
I can still remember how that Pyro used to make me smile
and I knew if I had a chance,
that I could blast that Tradewind's pants
and maybe, I'd be attacking, for a while.

But Sixth Edition made me shiver,
with no more stopping of Crystal Sliver
bad news on The Dojo, Sligh had lost its mojo.
I can't remember if Sligh cried, when "4 Pyroblast" left its side
but something touched me deep inside, the day the Pyro died.


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry,
yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Did you read the book of rules,
and can you find all of the holes,
if the rules lawyers tell you so?
Do you believe in R&D
Or that you paid that tourny fee, and can you teach me how to use combos?
Well, I know you're in e-league with me, cuz I saw you chatting in IRC
We both pulled out our decks, man I dig that Lim Dul's Hex
I was a lonely teenage boltin' buck, with a signed Cursed Scroll, and a burn-boy's luck,
but I knew I was pretty f*cked, the day the Pyro died. I started singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Now for one month, we've been on our own,
and the combo dot decs are really honed, but that's not how it used to be
When the Sligh player blasted the Sliver queen,
and sent in his Goblins for sixteen, in sleeves that cost a pretty penny
R&D's heads were in the ground, and combo cards were all around
Mind over Matter lurked, Pyroblast still worked
And while we read the rules for 6th, we prepared to take our licks
Cause our favorite card had left the mix, the day the Pyro, died. We were singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


Learning "burning" and some mana curving
into ashes, the creatures were turning, his 20 life will never last
you just can't stop the Pyroblast
The other player said it shows no class, to burn someone out really faaaaaast
Now the tourny was in a smelly room, and the stench continued to loom
We all got up to leave, but there was no reprieve
'Cuz the judges started the next round then, and we knew in minutes, it'd
take us 10
Do you recall what was the feel the day the Pyro died, we started singing


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry


And there we were, now stuck with "Haste",
it all seemed like a big waste, with no spells left to cast again
So come on Sligh be nimble, Sligh be quick, Sligh will burn you out right quick,
'cuz fire is Sligh Player's only friend
And as I watched the strong blue mage, my hands were holding Shocks in rage
No amount of will, could break that blue mage's Chill
and as red spells filled my hand in spite, Jackal Pups that could not fight
I saw blue mage laughing with delight the day the Pyro died, he was singin'


So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry


I met a girl who cast some spells
and I asked her if all was well, but she just sighed and walked past
I went down to the Magic store
Where I'd cast Pyroblast months before, but the judge there said the Pyro wouldn't blast.
But in the streets the players screamed, Sligh players cried, and R&D dreamed
but not a spell was Pyroed, our card had took the high road
And the burn spells I admired most, the ones that made me say "you're toast"


They caught the last train for the coast, the day the Pyro died

So "bye, bye, Mr. Pyro" said Sligh
"I used to blast things with you, and make people die"
And them good old Extended players, well, they won't cry
Cause they can still make opponents fry, yeah, they still make opponents fry.


I guess the creative juices got flowing there for a moment.

John M. Shuler
-------------------------------------------------------------
I'll pay $3 for a glowstick that won't last half the night.
I'll pay $15 for a party that might be busted an hour later.
I'll pay $25 for a pill that could probably just be aspirin.
But I *WILL NOT* pay $2 for that big bottle of water!
- raver creed
-------------------------------------------------------------

- from The Dojo archives

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!