An (Appropiately) Touching Interview with the Rev. Toby Wachter
Probably one of the most fun things I have done was interview the Reverend... hes a great guy and I felt someone needed to do it in a less serious way than a standard WotC interview (how many times can you be asked "Who is the best player of all time?" before you go on a murdering rampage??? For human (yeah... like the people looking at misetings are human ;) ) consumption: I give you my INTERVIEW WITH THE REVEREND TOBY WACHTER
[Warning: Potentially Offensive Content]
Probably one of the most fun things I have done
was interview the Reverend... hes a great guy and
I felt someone needed to do it in a less serious
way than a standard WotC interview (how many times
can you be asked "Who is the best player of
all time?" before you go on a murdering rampage???
For human (yeah... like the people looking at misetings
are human ;) ) consumption: I give you my INTERVIEW
WITH THE REVEREND TOBY WACHTER
[Warning: Potentially Offensive Content]
<Loonook>I am gonna make this short and painless...
relatively. 10 Questions... ok?
<Loonook> 1.) If you had to choose: Sadist
or Masochist?
<RevToby> Definitely Sadist. Not even close.
<Loonook> 2.) Pants or no pants?
<Loonook> :)
<RevToby> Pajamas. That's one of the first
things I do when I come home
<RevToby> change into pajamas
Toby Wachter, hard at work.
<Loonook> 3.) The Original Darren or the New
Darren?
<RevToby> Darren?
<Loonook> Bewitched... you surely don't
keep up with the times
<RevToby> oh umm
<RevToby> the original one, for sure
<Loonook> 4.) Water or Soda?
<RevToby> Iced Tea
<RevToby> i used to consume coke like it was
oxygen
<RevToby> but that made sleeping really hard,
so i decided to lay off the caffeine unless i need
it
<RevToby> Soda beats out water though
<Loonook> 5.) Orderly or Cluttered?
<RevToby> Cluttered, but with order to it.
My room at home is a mess, my dorm is a mess, the
notes I take in classes are a mess, but I can find
anything right away.
<RevToby> except magic cards
<RevToby> i have cards scattered all over
my room, and i can spend way too long looking for
one random uncommon
<Loonook> 6.) Puffy or P. Diddy?
<RevToby> neither, i wish the son of a bitch
would just get shot like those other rappers
<Loonook> nice!
<RevToby> he took his friend's death and launched
his career from it, just like courtney love used
kurt's death to launch hers
<RevToby> this is besides the fact that he's
a talentless sack of shit
<Loonook> 7.) Can you believe that, as what
some would call a 'geek' (simply for the MTG) that
you have a female fan club? You... Rev. Toby Walker?
<RevToby> sure. I don't know who that Toby
Walker is.
<Loonook> sorry
<Loonook> I am seriously fried during this
interview
<RevToby> hehe
<Loonook> lets say... for shits and giggles
<Loonook> your name WAS Toby Walker
<Loonook> instead of Wachter
<Loonook> just a hypothetical
<Loonook> come on... its out there!
<Loonook> now.... EVERYTHING else is the same...
but now you have a different name for the last
<Loonook> now... answer the damn question
<RevToby> I would find that to be really unlikely.
See, the problem with being a Magic "celebrity"
is that you don't get any groupies
<RevToby> which makes me reconsider giving
up music for magic
<Loonook> I guess you never seen Zvi's
prep room back during the day of TurboZvi
<Loonook> he was being fed grapes
<Loonook> of course, a couple of them were
sweaty trannies
<Loonook> but dammit... it was his dream
<RevToby> although on the other hand, a lot
of the guys i played music with ended up in rehab
and fucked up, and i get paid money to do something
i really like, so i guess it turned out ok
<Loonook> 8.) DO you think there are any decent
bands out there that ARENT getting enough press?
I am
talking even those not heavily in the 'underground'...
plug like you've never plugged before my friend
:)
<RevToby> oh geez
<RevToby> i'll be here all night
<Loonook> top 5
<RevToby> i'll just do a brief overview i
guess
<RevToby> Bad Religion- Anyone who knows me
knows how much this band means to me. i think it
should be required listening for any teenager because
it encourages people to be proud of their individuality
and think for themselves. A lot of people don't
like their newer stuff, but their next album is
incredible and one of the best records I've heard
in a long time
<RevToby> Pennywise- Motivational, inspirational.
Another band that every kid should listen to. They
help you realize that your life is what you make
of it, and you can have anything you want as long
as you try hard enough. It's also amazing that their
music can have a ridiculously fast tempo, and still
be haromic and catchy.
<RevToby> AFI- Their last two albums are two
of the best ones to come out in the past few years.
A really innovative sound. I'm happy to hear that
they've been getting a lot of radio play on the
west coast. Hopefully the next album can put them
over the top and help them break into the mainstream.
I hope so, because I'd really like to see some good
bands getting MTV play.
<RevToby> Boy Sets Fire- Their newest album
is one of very few that I listened to and was just
totally blown away by. Another band that could easily
become a mainstream band with lots of radio play,
and they deserve it
<RevToby> System of a Down- Pretty mainstream
already, with Toxicity being a critically acclaimed
album. I'm just mentioning it because anyone who
doesn't have that album needs to run to the store
right now and buy it. Or download it, whatever.
<RevToby> i'll leave it at five so that i
dont go on for hours :)
<RevToby> in fact, i dont think i did those
bands enough justice, but i dont want to go on and
on
<Loonook> yes... you have to be the slowest
typist I have ever met
<RevToby> in fact, i dont think i did those
bands enough justice, but i dont want to go on and
on
<RevToby> well i'm just trying to think things
through
<Loonook> 9.) If there were one person that
you could say one thing to... but it wasnt anything
that was truly serious... what would it be and who?
remember... it cannot be anything that is serious...
just something
<RevToby> that's a weird question because
if you gave me the opportunity to say something
to anyone i want, i'd probably want to say something
meaningful
<Loonook> yes... but if you COULDNT... lets
say you were tonguetied... what would be the first
thing you would say?
<RevToby> like if i could say anything
i wanted to anyone without the "serious"
restriction, i'd want to tell George Bush he was
a racist prick who bought the presidency and helps
to create misery around the planet just so he can
keep his oil buddies happy
<RevToby> so to not be serious, i'd just tell
him he was a big fat doodie head
<RevToby> yeah, noticed
<Loonook> ya
<Loonook> well... I guess I will make my 10th
question: If you had one thing
<Loonook> one thing in existence... not a
living being... a thing
<Loonook> what would you take?
<RevToby> hmm
<RevToby> i guess a shitload of money
<RevToby> i mean people might say that's too
materialisic or whatever
<Loonook> you have nothing except a shitload
of money?
<Loonook> of course... you would only be able
to have a single bill
<RevToby> oh, you mean i cant have anything
else?
<RevToby> i see
<Loonook> so you wanna be Mr. Burns???
<RevToby> can i have a bank then?
<Loonook> 1 trillion dollar bill
<Loonook> no... because a bank is a sum of
parts
<RevToby> that episode was tight
<Loonook> unless you want the building
<Loonook> and nothing in it
<RevToby> i'd just take something worth a
lot of money and sell it then
<Loonook> well.. theres noone to sell it to
<Loonook> theres nothing to buy
<Loonook> because you only have that object
<Loonook> now... do you need an ASCII diagram
on this one toby :)
<RevToby> what, like you want me to say i
want a huge dick or something? :)
<RevToby> i dont have an inadequacy complex
or anything
<Loonook> thats not an object
<Loonook> unless you wanna get freaky like
that
<Loonook> but this is a pg-13 interview
<RevToby> ok, so i can have one object, and
i cant sell it, right?
<RevToby> a materialistic thing i can hold
<Loonook> no... because there is no money
<Loonook> there is no existence except you
and the object
<RevToby> oh i know exactly what i'd get
<Loonook> 1 object
<RevToby> you ever watch the price is right?
<Loonook> ya?
<RevToby> you ever see Plinko?
<RevToby> i'd take the Plinko
<Loonook> hell ya!
<Loonook> damn right!
<Loonook> w00T!
<Loonook> PLINKO IS THE SHIT!
<RevToby> that would keep me entertained for
centuries if need be
<RevToby> absolutely
- Loonook
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