Shvartsman rivals Kai Budde, Yahweh with high placing at GP: Curitiba
With his latest astounding finish at Grand Prix: Curitiba, the Magic community is asking just one question of Alex Shvartsman: will his star EVER stop rising?
Placing in the finals with a deck based around the 1999 and 2000 Invitational Championship Cards, Shvartsman has been given much press by the community, including an article written by himself AND a mention in ANOTHER article written by himself.
When asked about the current situation and its rammifications on his stunning streak of victories and high ranking in the Player of the Year Race, Kai Budde simply shrugged, then turned to cry in an undisclosed corner.
However, there is one man unimpressed by the astounding showing of Mr. Shvartsman: Ed Fear.
"You know... I have pulled better finishes out of my sideboard... I mean, yea... Alex Shvartsman sucks!" Fear then continued to count his deck, cards in hand, and sideboard as he taught a group of 4th graders the intricacies of the Harry Potter Collectible Card Game.
When reached for comment, Shvartsman told this reporter while sitting on his immaculate golden throne surrounded by 30 virgin female players:
"Yes.. I have been planning this event as a stepping stone. You see... I feel that the Magic Community as a whole has denied my impeccable skills and tremendous gorgeousness for too long... when I face off with Jesus at PT: Osaka, I am sure to crush the Savior of all Mankind with my skill in the arena of MTG."
Shvartsman ended the interview abruptly after accusing all of his previous opponents of insufficient randomization He then proceeded to take a nap atop his golden throne, cuddling with a Meddling Mage whispering "precious... precious".
- Loonook
Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!