Kurtis Sullivan became the first man to ever have sex while wearing a Magic: the Gathering Pro-Tour shirt today.

The shirt in question was a faded maroon T-shirt given out at Pro-Tour New York 1997 to all competitors.

"All during [the ten minutes of intercourse] I wasn't even thinking about it!" an astonished Sullivan told the horde of reporters who gathered outside the site of the alleged fucking. "I mean, I had just moved from one city to another, found it at the bottom of my closet, and had no other clean shirts. I did laundry earlier, and just never changed. It looked like a totally normal shirt underneath my polo. I first realized I was wearing it at the bar when I was fixing my button-down after taking a piss. I haven't even really played Magic in 2 years!"

"This is huge," claimed AP reporter Brian Allbright, "Previously it was thought that all Magic players were gay, or at least asexual, but this purported sex act should be interpreted as good news for Wizards of the Coast and Hasbro Inc, as it will ensure generations of Magic players to come. Expect a huge jump in stock price as the Market opens with this news in the morning."

FoxNews, and CNN have already added a blurb about it to their scrolls at the bottom of the television screen on all their news programs.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Kurtis Sullivan became the first man to ever have sex while wearing a Magic: the Gathering Pro-Tour shirt today.

The shirt in question was a faded maroon T-shirt given out at Pro-Tour New York 1997 to all competitors.

"All during [the ten minutes of intercourse] I wasn't even thinking about it!" an astonished Sullivan told the horde of reporters who gathered outside the site of the alleged fucking. "I mean, I had just moved from one city to another, found it at the bottom of my closet, and had no other clean shirts. I did laundry earlier, and just never changed. It looked like a totally normal shirt underneath my polo. I first realized I was wearing it at the bar when I was fixing my button-down after taking a piss. I haven't even really played Magic in 2 years!"

"This is huge," claimed AP reporter Brian Allbright, "Previously it was thought that all Magic players were gay, or at least asexual, but this purported sex act should be interpreted as good news for Wizards of the Coast and Hasbro Inc, as it will ensure generations of Magic players to come. Expect a huge jump in stock price as the Market opens with this news in the morning."

FoxNews, and CNN have already added a blurb about it to their scrolls at the bottom of the television screen on all their news programs.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!