1. Take a Well Known Magic Thing(TM). The WKMT can be a person, place, or thing.

-Randy Buehler, Hampton Court Palace, Iridescent Angel, Green

2. Do some word association on your WKMT.

-Randy Buehler: CMU, R&D, balancing, Wizards
-Hampton Court Palace: Wise, Ronaldsons, England, marathon playtesting
-Iridescent Angel: invincible, protection, flying
-Green: creatures, shafted, Wakefield, Fog

3. Pun, Invert, Combine, Exaggerate, or otherwise Twist the assocation.

If the association takes youaway a bit from the original WKMT, thats fine.

-Randy Buehler Balances Breakfast
-Wizards Hires Entire CMU Graduating Class
-HCP Finishes Testing Urza's Block Constructed
-Wise Hired as Hampton Court Palace Guard
-Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?
-Iridescent Angel Protests Sandstone Deadfall
-Green Finally Gets Card Named 'Shaft'
-Judgement Card Preview - Another Crappy Fog Effect

4a. Add perspective

Who has something to say about the headline? Is it an inside leak, a random player, a press release? Made up quotables are usually solid.

'Randy Buehler Balances Breakfast' could be a news flash where you exaggerate the thought that goes into his food. It might be a short documentary where you follow Randy around as he balances various things in his life.

'Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?' is clearly a scientific experiment.

4b. Add sub-jokes

Sometimes the sub-jokes will lead to the perspective, and sometimes the perspective leads to the sub-jokes. I usually find its the latter.

The Buehler news flash would contain a few references to unbalanced Cereal decks, while the documentary would note that he can balance his checkbook but not his work and personal life.

5. Watch the setup

Make sure the setup doesn't get longer than the joke warrants. Try to slip in a few small jibes to make the setup less tedious. Re-read and cut any setup that isn't strictly necessary or funny in and of itself.

6. Put it all together

Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?

Black and Red scientists announced a major breakthrough today in their ongoing arms race against their White and Blue counterparts. After months of not even being able to target their nigh-invincible nemesis, the Iridescent Angel, they found a chink in the armor: microwaves.

The report listed several methods of destruction tested on the Angel. Various colors of cars all failed to destroy the card, only inflicting some dirt and various degrees of bending. All manner of firearms were aimed at the shiny Angel, but none found their mark. The final discovery happened as an accident, as the card slipped into the microwave with a frozen lunch, and was quickly reduced to a smoking, charred ball.

The scientists were ecstatic as reporters queried them for details. "This is a great day for science. Today we proved beyond dispute that there is no wall so thick that we can't blow the living shit out of it. Now we will take what we've learned and apply it.

We're going to nuke the hell out of that damn Blinking Spirit!"

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

1. Take a Well Known Magic Thing(TM). The WKMT can be a person, place, or thing.

-Randy Buehler, Hampton Court Palace, Iridescent Angel, Green

2. Do some word association on your WKMT.

-Randy Buehler: CMU, R&D, balancing, Wizards
-Hampton Court Palace: Wise, Ronaldsons, England, marathon playtesting
-Iridescent Angel: invincible, protection, flying
-Green: creatures, shafted, Wakefield, Fog

3. Pun, Invert, Combine, Exaggerate, or otherwise Twist the assocation.

If the association takes youaway a bit from the original WKMT, thats fine.

-Randy Buehler Balances Breakfast
-Wizards Hires Entire CMU Graduating Class
-HCP Finishes Testing Urza's Block Constructed
-Wise Hired as Hampton Court Palace Guard
-Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?
-Iridescent Angel Protests Sandstone Deadfall
-Green Finally Gets Card Named 'Shaft'
-Judgement Card Preview - Another Crappy Fog Effect

4a. Add perspective

Who has something to say about the headline? Is it an inside leak, a random player, a press release? Made up quotables are usually solid.

'Randy Buehler Balances Breakfast' could be a news flash where you exaggerate the thought that goes into his food. It might be a short documentary where you follow Randy around as he balances various things in his life.

'Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?' is clearly a scientific experiment.

4b. Add sub-jokes

Sometimes the sub-jokes will lead to the perspective, and sometimes the perspective leads to the sub-jokes. I usually find its the latter.

The Buehler news flash would contain a few references to unbalanced Cereal decks, while the documentary would note that he can balance his checkbook but not his work and personal life.

5. Watch the setup

Make sure the setup doesn't get longer than the joke warrants. Try to slip in a few small jibes to make the setup less tedious. Re-read and cut any setup that isn't strictly necessary or funny in and of itself.

6. Put it all together

Iridescent Angel - Protection from Microwave?

Black and Red scientists announced a major breakthrough today in their ongoing arms race against their White and Blue counterparts. After months of not even being able to target their nigh-invincible nemesis, the Iridescent Angel, they found a chink in the armor: microwaves.

The report listed several methods of destruction tested on the Angel. Various colors of cars all failed to destroy the card, only inflicting some dirt and various degrees of bending. All manner of firearms were aimed at the shiny Angel, but none found their mark. The final discovery happened as an accident, as the card slipped into the microwave with a frozen lunch, and was quickly reduced to a smoking, charred ball.

The scientists were ecstatic as reporters queried them for details. "This is a great day for science. Today we proved beyond dispute that there is no wall so thick that we can't blow the living shit out of it. Now we will take what we've learned and apply it.

We're going to nuke the hell out of that damn Blinking Spirit!"

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!