Proudly sporting my newly acquired green mana symbol mana-tee (size 3X, natch), I ventured forth toward Tuesday classes. En route, I made a pit stop to mise (legally) some grub and some Diet Frickin’ Coke with Frickin’ Lemon, for as I mentioned, I wear size 3X and besides I just like the Frickin’ taste of Diet Coke with Lemon. This woman in the store points at my green mana symbol and asks me if I am a member of Greenpeace.

I might resemble a whale, but I ain’t no Frickin’ Hippie Punk who wants to save them. I wondered though, do Greenpeace homosapiens play a lot of MTG? Why would that lady assume green mana equals environmental pansydom? Makes me more pleased than ever that Torment is chock full of black. Serves those tree huggers right. Next time I hit the 7-11, I’m wearing the black mana-tee – Screw the manatee.

I figure, really, it must be the chunk of broccoli in the green mana symbol that made that lady figure I was earthy like that. People who eat broccoli probably care a lot about the state of the planet and they probably also engage in ecoterrorism and all that fun stuff. It’s only natural that the lady put two and two together and thought ‘broccoli equals Greenpeace’. She should have gotten the hint that she was wrong, though. I don’t figure too many Greenpieces eat a lot of quarter-pound hotdogs from 7-11, and I was holding a heap of paper napkins, too, because of the mustard. Imagine all the trees that had to die to make those napkins, the box, the bag and the hot dog. That lady has no clue.

I mean really, Greenpeace, of all organizations! Why can’t the green mana symbol be associated with something sinister or far-right? Why a communistic group of sack-wearing non-bathers like Greenpeace? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to play green again if it has that sort of awful stigma! I mean dang, I vote republican for Pete’s sake! What would W think if he heard I was lumped in with some hippie punks as the result of playing MTG? What a nightmare! This is enough to force me to re-tweak my Braids deck with maindeck Slays. Anything to rid me of the nasty feeling caused by my MTG addiction’s being mis-labeled as concern for the environment!

I might have to retire these shirts from public display if this sort of thing keeps up. I’ll wear them to events and wear my nifty Cromat shirt out in public so that if anyone makes the mistake of thinking Cromat is nice and environmentally friendly I can point out the fact that he’s just served 5 to the grill of a pansy-assed polar bear.

P to the MFG

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Proudly sporting my newly acquired green mana symbol mana-tee (size 3X, natch), I ventured forth toward Tuesday classes. En route, I made a pit stop to mise (legally) some grub and some Diet Frickin’ Coke with Frickin’ Lemon, for as I mentioned, I wear size 3X and besides I just like the Frickin’ taste of Diet Coke with Lemon. This woman in the store points at my green mana symbol and asks me if I am a member of Greenpeace.

I might resemble a whale, but I ain’t no Frickin’ Hippie Punk who wants to save them. I wondered though, do Greenpeace homosapiens play a lot of MTG? Why would that lady assume green mana equals environmental pansydom? Makes me more pleased than ever that Torment is chock full of black. Serves those tree huggers right. Next time I hit the 7-11, I’m wearing the black mana-tee – Screw the manatee.

I figure, really, it must be the chunk of broccoli in the green mana symbol that made that lady figure I was earthy like that. People who eat broccoli probably care a lot about the state of the planet and they probably also engage in ecoterrorism and all that fun stuff. It’s only natural that the lady put two and two together and thought ‘broccoli equals Greenpeace’. She should have gotten the hint that she was wrong, though. I don’t figure too many Greenpieces eat a lot of quarter-pound hotdogs from 7-11, and I was holding a heap of paper napkins, too, because of the mustard. Imagine all the trees that had to die to make those napkins, the box, the bag and the hot dog. That lady has no clue.

I mean really, Greenpeace, of all organizations! Why can’t the green mana symbol be associated with something sinister or far-right? Why a communistic group of sack-wearing non-bathers like Greenpeace? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to play green again if it has that sort of awful stigma! I mean dang, I vote republican for Pete’s sake! What would W think if he heard I was lumped in with some hippie punks as the result of playing MTG? What a nightmare! This is enough to force me to re-tweak my Braids deck with maindeck Slays. Anything to rid me of the nasty feeling caused by my MTG addiction’s being mis-labeled as concern for the environment!

I might have to retire these shirts from public display if this sort of thing keeps up. I’ll wear them to events and wear my nifty Cromat shirt out in public so that if anyone makes the mistake of thinking Cromat is nice and environmentally friendly I can point out the fact that he’s just served 5 to the grill of a pansy-assed polar bear.

P to the MFG

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!