Washington - A routine Sideboard article covering GP: Tampa turned into a fiasco Monday, when Kurtis "Fatman" Hahn set a record for the shortest time before getting kicked out of a Grand Prix. While Randy Buehler diligently reported the event on the Sideboard coverage, his prediction that the incident would find itself on MiseTings failed to materialize, forcing a disappointed Buehler to write the promised MiseTings article himself.

The incident consisted of an angry Hahn verbally exploding on a person who turned out to be tournament organizer John Shannon the Friday before the tournament. While it is generally agreed that Buehler's comic judgement was correct in reporting the incident, he then foolishly declared that the incident was sure to be parodied on MiseTings.

"Hahn didn't comment on the fact that this episode is sure to be parodied mercilessly in future MiseTings.com articles," wrote Buehler. While observers agreed that this mistaken proclamation in itself was not a big deal, Buehler later upped the ante by joking with his friends about starting a pool to guess how long it would take for a MiseTings parody to appear, and repeatedly used the comment as an icebreaker in conversations throughout the GP. The end result was a desperate attempt by Buehler to save face, coming in the form of an article submitted to MiseTings late Monday night from Buehler's Washington residence.

While MiseTings editor Mike Bregoli ultimately chose not to post the article, he offered the following excerpt:

"Routine Devouring of Infant Turns Tragic for Kurt Hahn"
by rbuehler

Associated Press - Tragedy struck Kurt Hahn at GP: Tampa last weekend, when his normal Friday night ritual of messily devouring a small child resulted in him being kicked out of the tournament faster than any player in Magic history. The penalty was handed out after Hahn, whose child-eating exploits have delighted Magic players across the nation, mistakenly chose the 15-month-old son of tournament organizer John Shannon for consumption…

Bregoli later explained his decision to not post the article. "First of all, I don't think Randy realized that his member name would show up next to the article," Bregoli told reporters. "Beyond that, the article was just sick, sick stuff. I guess it makes sense that [Buehler] has a lot of pent-up anger and frustration, having to listen to Magic players bitch about the new sets all the time, but this stuff was just really, really dark. It was funny, sure, but I felt an obligation to protect the viewing public from the things that were in there."

Added Bregoli, "You don't want to get inside Buehler's head."

In light of the unfortunate turn of events, observers have commented that the entire incident could have been avoided if a MiseTings writer had just written about the event like Buehler had hoped. Regarding this, occasional MiseTings writer cavedan offered the following: "Randy Buehler is a well-liked person who does good work for the Magic community, but he was out of line in trying to predict the fickle ways of MiseTings writers. True, the Hahn incident is excellent comedy material, but with JC off at the Colony, when was the last time anything funny has ever been posted on MiseTings?"

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Washington - A routine Sideboard article covering GP: Tampa turned into a fiasco Monday, when Kurtis "Fatman" Hahn set a record for the shortest time before getting kicked out of a Grand Prix. While Randy Buehler diligently reported the event on the Sideboard coverage, his prediction that the incident would find itself on MiseTings failed to materialize, forcing a disappointed Buehler to write the promised MiseTings article himself.

The incident consisted of an angry Hahn verbally exploding on a person who turned out to be tournament organizer John Shannon the Friday before the tournament. While it is generally agreed that Buehler's comic judgement was correct in reporting the incident, he then foolishly declared that the incident was sure to be parodied on MiseTings.

"Hahn didn't comment on the fact that this episode is sure to be parodied mercilessly in future MiseTings.com articles," wrote Buehler. While observers agreed that this mistaken proclamation in itself was not a big deal, Buehler later upped the ante by joking with his friends about starting a pool to guess how long it would take for a MiseTings parody to appear, and repeatedly used the comment as an icebreaker in conversations throughout the GP. The end result was a desperate attempt by Buehler to save face, coming in the form of an article submitted to MiseTings late Monday night from Buehler's Washington residence.

While MiseTings editor Mike Bregoli ultimately chose not to post the article, he offered the following excerpt:

"Routine Devouring of Infant Turns Tragic for Kurt Hahn"
by rbuehler

Associated Press - Tragedy struck Kurt Hahn at GP: Tampa last weekend, when his normal Friday night ritual of messily devouring a small child resulted in him being kicked out of the tournament faster than any player in Magic history. The penalty was handed out after Hahn, whose child-eating exploits have delighted Magic players across the nation, mistakenly chose the 15-month-old son of tournament organizer John Shannon for consumption…

Bregoli later explained his decision to not post the article. "First of all, I don't think Randy realized that his member name would show up next to the article," Bregoli told reporters. "Beyond that, the article was just sick, sick stuff. I guess it makes sense that [Buehler] has a lot of pent-up anger and frustration, having to listen to Magic players bitch about the new sets all the time, but this stuff was just really, really dark. It was funny, sure, but I felt an obligation to protect the viewing public from the things that were in there."

Added Bregoli, "You don't want to get inside Buehler's head."

In light of the unfortunate turn of events, observers have commented that the entire incident could have been avoided if a MiseTings writer had just written about the event like Buehler had hoped. Regarding this, occasional MiseTings writer cavedan offered the following: "Randy Buehler is a well-liked person who does good work for the Magic community, but he was out of line in trying to predict the fickle ways of MiseTings writers. True, the Hahn incident is excellent comedy material, but with JC off at the Colony, when was the last time anything funny has ever been posted on MiseTings?"

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!