In an effort to find words to describe the sinking feeling one often experiences when getting crushed through no fault of one's own, the normally enthusiastic Geordie Tait of Sarnia, Ontario, Canada could only compare the experience to being smothered to death by smoldering upholstery.

"Looking back, I made no play mistakes and it didn't matter," Tait was heard to remark after getting beaten down by a Hell-Bent Raider with Shade's Form on it during the 2nd round of a PTQ in Garden City, Michigan. Stifling a sob, he continued, "In the next game he had Balthor The Stout and it got even worse!"

Burdened with a card pool containing no "bomb rares", "strong commons" or "anchor" cards to make his build obvious, the stalwart Canuck was at a loss trying to assemble a passable deck out of a mountain of unsplashable "also-rans".

"Every match, I knew I had no chance in hell," said Tait when confronted about his "1-2, drop" performance by local scribes.

"Guys would be dropping Butchers, Mongrels, Mystic Enforcers and Kamahl, Pit Fighter...and I'd just have to shake my head solemnly, knowing all the while that my best creature was a Soul Scourge. In the back of my mind, I could see hellishly detailed visions of my prone body, trapped under an immolated chesterfield."

When asked which card was his 23rd, Tait responded "all of them."

Repeated double-mulligans and opposing "God-draws" did little to ease the situation.

"I was getting punished all afternoon, trying to claw my way out," said the 2-year veteran of his experiences at the PTQ.

"Weeks of study and practice were moot, it didn't matter how well I played tactically. I'd be struggling for land number 3, and across the table the biggest dilemma would be whether to cast Possessed Aven or Repentant Vampire. It was, literally, like being pinned under a burning couch."

Though chastened by the afternoon of sick beats, Tait hopes to avoid "Burning Couch" syndrome when playing in the coming weeks at his local store, where the events aren't 32k and it will take 3 months of flawless play to make up his point losses while in "Couchville".

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

In an effort to find words to describe the sinking feeling one often experiences when getting crushed through no fault of one's own, the normally enthusiastic Geordie Tait of Sarnia, Ontario, Canada could only compare the experience to being smothered to death by smoldering upholstery.

"Looking back, I made no play mistakes and it didn't matter," Tait was heard to remark after getting beaten down by a Hell-Bent Raider with Shade's Form on it during the 2nd round of a PTQ in Garden City, Michigan. Stifling a sob, he continued, "In the next game he had Balthor The Stout and it got even worse!"

Burdened with a card pool containing no "bomb rares", "strong commons" or "anchor" cards to make his build obvious, the stalwart Canuck was at a loss trying to assemble a passable deck out of a mountain of unsplashable "also-rans".

"Every match, I knew I had no chance in hell," said Tait when confronted about his "1-2, drop" performance by local scribes.

"Guys would be dropping Butchers, Mongrels, Mystic Enforcers and Kamahl, Pit Fighter...and I'd just have to shake my head solemnly, knowing all the while that my best creature was a Soul Scourge. In the back of my mind, I could see hellishly detailed visions of my prone body, trapped under an immolated chesterfield."

When asked which card was his 23rd, Tait responded "all of them."

Repeated double-mulligans and opposing "God-draws" did little to ease the situation.

"I was getting punished all afternoon, trying to claw my way out," said the 2-year veteran of his experiences at the PTQ.

"Weeks of study and practice were moot, it didn't matter how well I played tactically. I'd be struggling for land number 3, and across the table the biggest dilemma would be whether to cast Possessed Aven or Repentant Vampire. It was, literally, like being pinned under a burning couch."

Though chastened by the afternoon of sick beats, Tait hopes to avoid "Burning Couch" syndrome when playing in the coming weeks at his local store, where the events aren't 32k and it will take 3 months of flawless play to make up his point losses while in "Couchville".

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!