Authorities uncovered the remains of dozens of cult members yesterday in what appears to be the largest mass suicide in Dominian history. Forensics scientists are hard at work determining the cause of death.

“Mass murder has not been ruled out,” said local detective, Jeffery Adams. “Though this easily appears to be suicide on a grand scale, I fear someone else was involved. We have yet to uncover an intact corpse- all the remains appear to have been posthumously eaten...partially. It smells like shit in here.” The detective proceeded to vomit.

Local authorities knew something was amiss when several atog families reported missing youths and elders earlier this week. According to the families, the missing atogs had all recently joined an extreme religion. Many were worried that their teenagers had joined a pagan cult. Many elderly also turned up missing, some diagnosed with terminal ailments.

“I knew they were into something terrible. I just knew it. All Necra and Psych would talk about were bones and graveyards. I even caught them late one night sneaking out with a shovel! I didn’t know what to do with them, I was afraid to ask what they were planning,” sobbed Mrs. Auratog. “I didn’t like the boys and their friends hanging out with that Atogatog fella.”

The atog cult appears to have all drank poison after prayer and other warped cult activities. The cult was renown in the area for its “savior” who promised healing and salvation to atogs young and old. The cult left behind only one member, who was not present at the final sermon. Foratog claimed that he had experienced a horrifying epiphany after devouring an entire cannabis field. This revelation was more than enough to convince the creature to hide in a nearby forest while the cult held its last meeting.

“He tricked them! He tricked them! They gave him all their money, everything! He tricked them! They gave him everything and he murdered them all! I saw it! He ate their brains! Their brains!” the paranoid atog half-laughed half-cried.

“Though its quite possible the little stoned bastard witnessed this atrocity, I do not consider him a reliable source. He’s permanently half-baked, for the love of Urza! He might be right though…Atogatog’s body has yet to be uncovered…If he’s behind this…well then he just might replace Kurt Hahn in my nightmares…That child-eating bastard!”

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Authorities uncovered the remains of dozens of cult members yesterday in what appears to be the largest mass suicide in Dominian history. Forensics scientists are hard at work determining the cause of death.

“Mass murder has not been ruled out,” said local detective, Jeffery Adams. “Though this easily appears to be suicide on a grand scale, I fear someone else was involved. We have yet to uncover an intact corpse- all the remains appear to have been posthumously eaten...partially. It smells like shit in here.” The detective proceeded to vomit.

Local authorities knew something was amiss when several atog families reported missing youths and elders earlier this week. According to the families, the missing atogs had all recently joined an extreme religion. Many were worried that their teenagers had joined a pagan cult. Many elderly also turned up missing, some diagnosed with terminal ailments.

“I knew they were into something terrible. I just knew it. All Necra and Psych would talk about were bones and graveyards. I even caught them late one night sneaking out with a shovel! I didn’t know what to do with them, I was afraid to ask what they were planning,” sobbed Mrs. Auratog. “I didn’t like the boys and their friends hanging out with that Atogatog fella.”

The atog cult appears to have all drank poison after prayer and other warped cult activities. The cult was renown in the area for its “savior” who promised healing and salvation to atogs young and old. The cult left behind only one member, who was not present at the final sermon. Foratog claimed that he had experienced a horrifying epiphany after devouring an entire cannabis field. This revelation was more than enough to convince the creature to hide in a nearby forest while the cult held its last meeting.

“He tricked them! He tricked them! They gave him all their money, everything! He tricked them! They gave him everything and he murdered them all! I saw it! He ate their brains! Their brains!” the paranoid atog half-laughed half-cried.

“Though its quite possible the little stoned bastard witnessed this atrocity, I do not consider him a reliable source. He’s permanently half-baked, for the love of Urza! He might be right though…Atogatog’s body has yet to be uncovered…If he’s behind this…well then he just might replace Kurt Hahn in my nightmares…That child-eating bastard!”

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!