Mahamoti Djinn Dead at Age 839
(AP) Mahamoti Djinn was pronounced dead early Monday morning after Dominaria Sheriffs Department found him alone in his bottle, after not being seen for weeks. Sources close to the case claim that Mahamoti Djinn died of a massive coronary failure, coupled with a failing liver, apparantly following a prolonged eating and drinking binge.
Mahamoti Djinn first came to be known by most of the world in 1993 when he was the shining star of many blue mages. He would often be seen flying in for five points of aerial assault once the way had been cleared with a flurry of counterspells and removal. It was the quick beatings that he served up that made him the finisher for many blue wizards until one fateful day in 1998.
The beginning of Urza's Saga was the day that the shining star was transformed into a falling star. Close friends of Mahamoti claim, "He was riding high; the happiest I had ever seen him, but then this new guy came into our world and ripped Mahamoti's heart and soul out."
Morphling, aka Cardboard Jesus, was a constant reminder of just how ineffective Mahamoti really was. "I had no idea he felt like I was usurping his power." , Morphling said in a statement released to the press this morning. "He was a really good man, and will sorely be missed by the community."
Once Morphling came into the scene, Mahamoti just wasn't called on for many roles. He found work in mediocre multiplayer and casual games, but was never the superstar of his previous glory. A confidential source close to Mahamoti claimed that the unprecedented power AND toughness of Morphling, along with his inability to even be the target of criticism was what drove Mahamoti to his eating disorder. It wasn't long until the slim and trim Mahamoti ballooned up to over 400 lbs.
However, not everyone was saddened by the loss of Mahamoti. When reached for comment, King Suleiman only scoffed, " Served that fat bastard right, always flying over my kingdom in the old days, terrorizing my subjects! Hell, that's what I'm around for!"
Mahamoti's close friend Ernham Djinn sadly remarks, "Mahamoti was always a larger Djinn, in fact, he was touted as "Fat Moti" before, but now the words hit him with the force of a whirlwind; it really hurt him." He continues, "I didn't know how to even approach him anymore, I'd invite him to come over to my forest every turn, but he would just sit there, like he was paralyzed."
There was little time until Mahamoti had been all but forgotten. Resigned to this fate, his eating went out of control, and soon he developed a problem with alcohol as well. Sadly, this Djinn was crawling into a bottle, but not for rest. He would spend weeks there at a time, coming out only to go on eating binges. "He was like a machine! I remember this one time - I came over to his place, and there were bottles of whiskey and vodka everywhere, it was really sad."
Another close friend of Mahamoti's, Serendib Efreet recalls, "After I hadn't seen him for a few days, I stopped by to check up on him. I did a double take when I first saw him. He had apparantly just woken up from a self induced drunken coma, and he said he wanted to go out for something to eat and a few beers." Serendib remembers, "At the bar he started bawling and mumbling about how he used to be someone. He was really upset that no matter hom much he tried, he could never be as usefull as Morphling seemed."
It wasn't until the year 2001 that Mahamoti was able to stabilize and start a resurgence in his career. "He had gotten back into shape, and Morphling wasn't around much anymore; he really thought he was going to be better than ever." but Ernham sadly comments, "He got a few small jobs early on, but soon the agents stopped calling, and he was back to his self destructive ways again."
Services will be held at Llanowar Memorial at 3:00pm on Friday. The family requests that donations be made to the American Heart Association.
Mahamoti Djinn in preceded in his passing by his father, Juzaam and leaves behind a mother, seven brothers, and many other loving relatives.
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