Osaka, Japan - Japan may not have placed anyone in PT Osaka’s top 8, but PTR led the efforts to make sure Japanese players retained their sense of honor.

“Normally I can do enough just by running around, swearing and being obnoxious,” PTR explained, “but I could tell that the Japanese needed a special boost in Osaka.” PTR therefore went above and beyond. Not only was he seen shoving a Japanese player out of his way in the “gunslinging” line at the Pro Tour, he also followed a Japanese child while imitating his walk and talking like a badly-dubbed movie. Several Japanese players confirmed that knowing their culture was virtually incapable of producing a PTR made them feel much better about the PT.

Because of his sterling work, WotC sources reveal that PTR may be offered an unnamed position with the company. “We need guys like PTR if Magic is ever going to be taken seriously, like Wresting,” explained Randy Beuhler. “For now we’re happy just to give him feature matches, but if he hadn’t finished top 128 to stay on the gravy train we’d have had to do something.”

Another WotC staffer who preferred to remain anonymous said, “It’s not like we don’t have plenty of punks waiting in the wings, but let’s be honest. None of them have PTR’s ability to make other people feel good by comparison.”

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Osaka, Japan - Japan may not have placed anyone in PT Osaka’s top 8, but PTR led the efforts to make sure Japanese players retained their sense of honor.

“Normally I can do enough just by running around, swearing and being obnoxious,” PTR explained, “but I could tell that the Japanese needed a special boost in Osaka.” PTR therefore went above and beyond. Not only was he seen shoving a Japanese player out of his way in the “gunslinging” line at the Pro Tour, he also followed a Japanese child while imitating his walk and talking like a badly-dubbed movie. Several Japanese players confirmed that knowing their culture was virtually incapable of producing a PTR made them feel much better about the PT.

Because of his sterling work, WotC sources reveal that PTR may be offered an unnamed position with the company. “We need guys like PTR if Magic is ever going to be taken seriously, like Wresting,” explained Randy Beuhler. “For now we’re happy just to give him feature matches, but if he hadn’t finished top 128 to stay on the gravy train we’d have had to do something.”

Another WotC staffer who preferred to remain anonymous said, “It’s not like we don’t have plenty of punks waiting in the wings, but let’s be honest. None of them have PTR’s ability to make other people feel good by comparison.”

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!