A noted Internet writer, who wishes to be identified only as S.M., warned Magic players about the dangers of swinging with savage men today. Apparently, S.M. has contracted a recurring nightmare of a disease from his repeated nocturnal swings with savage men.

"All this time, I was just swinging with my men," S.M. said, taking a break from meticulously overanalyzing the Type II metagame to speak with MiseTings reporters. "Who knew about the consequences? It's my responsiblity as a victim of this horrible disease to inform the Magic community of the dangers of swinging with men."

S.M. added, "By the way, whoever stole my Sarah McLachlan collection, I'd like it back."

At this time, sources neither confirm nor deny Adrian Sullivan's involvement with S.M. and his swinging, savage men.

After S.M.'s news came to light, this reporter set out to gauge its impact on the Magic community. Magic players have traditionally swung with many varieties of savage men in all types of decks. From old-school swinging with Kird Apes and Erhnam Djinns to more modern swings with Elephant tokens and Wild Mongrels, Magic players have always enjoyed swinging with their men.

Noted swinger Brian Kibler, when apprised of this news, said, "You mean that my savage men might not be as tight as I thought? Man, I knew I shouldn't have borrowed that Rith!" Kibler immediately obtained new sleeves to minimize his exposure to S.M.'s men.

Dave Price, a longtime proponent of turning men sideways in order to swing with them, could not be reached for comment.

Mike Flores, when asked his opinion, merely shrugged. "We always knew he liked men, amiright?"

This reporter urges anyone who wishes to swing with savage men to use Circles of Protection or, at the very least, card sleeves at all times. Hopefully, with proper precautions, this scourge can be eliminated, leaving players free to swing with as many savage men as possible in time for Regionals.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

A noted Internet writer, who wishes to be identified only as S.M., warned Magic players about the dangers of swinging with savage men today. Apparently, S.M. has contracted a recurring nightmare of a disease from his repeated nocturnal swings with savage men.

"All this time, I was just swinging with my men," S.M. said, taking a break from meticulously overanalyzing the Type II metagame to speak with MiseTings reporters. "Who knew about the consequences? It's my responsiblity as a victim of this horrible disease to inform the Magic community of the dangers of swinging with men."

S.M. added, "By the way, whoever stole my Sarah McLachlan collection, I'd like it back."

At this time, sources neither confirm nor deny Adrian Sullivan's involvement with S.M. and his swinging, savage men.

After S.M.'s news came to light, this reporter set out to gauge its impact on the Magic community. Magic players have traditionally swung with many varieties of savage men in all types of decks. From old-school swinging with Kird Apes and Erhnam Djinns to more modern swings with Elephant tokens and Wild Mongrels, Magic players have always enjoyed swinging with their men.

Noted swinger Brian Kibler, when apprised of this news, said, "You mean that my savage men might not be as tight as I thought? Man, I knew I shouldn't have borrowed that Rith!" Kibler immediately obtained new sleeves to minimize his exposure to S.M.'s men.

Dave Price, a longtime proponent of turning men sideways in order to swing with them, could not be reached for comment.

Mike Flores, when asked his opinion, merely shrugged. "We always knew he liked men, amiright?"

This reporter urges anyone who wishes to swing with savage men to use Circles of Protection or, at the very least, card sleeves at all times. Hopefully, with proper precautions, this scourge can be eliminated, leaving players free to swing with as many savage men as possible in time for Regionals.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!