Today, when browsing the depths of this site (which, I must say, has really gone to the shits lately), I discovered an enormous dick up my ass, so to speak. These are the words from the editor:

"I started this site nearly a year ago, not to become a popular site with thousands of hits a day, not even to be a humor site. It was just a personal web log. The real reason I started the site was so that I could learn more about building and running a site, as that was and is what I am interested in doing as a career."

When I read that shit, let me tell you, I got real pissed. I haven't been that pissed since the last event Kai won. Yes, I know he won German nationals last week, but that shit doesn't count. What do you fucking expect? GERMAN NATIONALS? I wonder how he ever managed to pull THAT shit off! Those Germans are BAD MOTHER FUCKERS! I wonder who would win if you matched up 10 Germans against 10 retards. Ponder that shit.

But I digress. After I read that shit from MB, I came to a stark realization. I was probably not going to get rich off doing this shit. Yes, I had dreams... dreams of being one important motherfucker, you know... cruisin' the PT in my Escalade with the phat rims (bumper sticker ATTCK42), hanging with Michelle Bush and Becky Hiebert at one of their self-styled "photo shoots", shopping for clothes at the San Diego Zoo morgue with PTR... just generally being a pimp and living it up in my role as a Magic humor writer extraordinaire.

That dream, my friends, is now deader than Casey Mac's comeback, more fucked up than a Dave Williams AK. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, not even a hilarious mother fucker like yours truly, is going to get rich writing humorous shit for Mike Bregoli's fucking weblog. MIKE BREGOLI, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! Sure, the guy made a god-damn Pro Tour Top 8... but to say he wasn't lucky is to say that Lyle Lovett deserved to be banging Julia Roberts for two years. WHY WOULD I GIVE A GOD-DAMN FLYING FUCK ABOUT MIKE BREGOLI'S WEBLOG?! I don't have time for this sort of shit. Maybe, and just MAYBE, if this site was run by someone important, someone who knows how to run a Magic website... someone like Scott Johns, then MAYBE I would consider doing an article every month or so, gratis.

So, in closing, I really don't have time for this shit. I could be out there hittin' them hoes, makin' out with total strangers, knockin' the boots, and shocking Jackal Pups... real crazy shit. Unless y'all can come up with the scrilla to keep me around, you can kiss my ass goodbye.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Today, when browsing the depths of this site (which, I must say, has really gone to the shits lately), I discovered an enormous dick up my ass, so to speak. These are the words from the editor:

"I started this site nearly a year ago, not to become a popular site with thousands of hits a day, not even to be a humor site. It was just a personal web log. The real reason I started the site was so that I could learn more about building and running a site, as that was and is what I am interested in doing as a career."

When I read that shit, let me tell you, I got real pissed. I haven't been that pissed since the last event Kai won. Yes, I know he won German nationals last week, but that shit doesn't count. What do you fucking expect? GERMAN NATIONALS? I wonder how he ever managed to pull THAT shit off! Those Germans are BAD MOTHER FUCKERS! I wonder who would win if you matched up 10 Germans against 10 retards. Ponder that shit.

But I digress. After I read that shit from MB, I came to a stark realization. I was probably not going to get rich off doing this shit. Yes, I had dreams... dreams of being one important motherfucker, you know... cruisin' the PT in my Escalade with the phat rims (bumper sticker ATTCK42), hanging with Michelle Bush and Becky Hiebert at one of their self-styled "photo shoots", shopping for clothes at the San Diego Zoo morgue with PTR... just generally being a pimp and living it up in my role as a Magic humor writer extraordinaire.

That dream, my friends, is now deader than Casey Mac's comeback, more fucked up than a Dave Williams AK. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, not even a hilarious mother fucker like yours truly, is going to get rich writing humorous shit for Mike Bregoli's fucking weblog. MIKE BREGOLI, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! Sure, the guy made a god-damn Pro Tour Top 8... but to say he wasn't lucky is to say that Lyle Lovett deserved to be banging Julia Roberts for two years. WHY WOULD I GIVE A GOD-DAMN FLYING FUCK ABOUT MIKE BREGOLI'S WEBLOG?! I don't have time for this sort of shit. Maybe, and just MAYBE, if this site was run by someone important, someone who knows how to run a Magic website... someone like Scott Johns, then MAYBE I would consider doing an article every month or so, gratis.

So, in closing, I really don't have time for this shit. I could be out there hittin' them hoes, makin' out with total strangers, knockin' the boots, and shocking Jackal Pups... real crazy shit. Unless y'all can come up with the scrilla to keep me around, you can kiss my ass goodbye.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!