Featured Writer Will Reiffer broke Star City's goody two shoes image Saturday by sending in an acidic piece to none other than rival site Team Academy.

It wasn't a review. Reiffer's article called fellow Featured Writer Oscar Tan "the biggest phony I've met in the game".

Shocked Star City readers denied it had anything to do with Writer's War. Tan is now carrying the Star City name in the final round and Reiffer was not even listed, but he proudly told the world he "started at Magic Campus". The same readers also believed that the USA is not in danger from another terrorist attack and TPM was a better film than AOTC.

The rift between Tan and Reiffer began after Tan violently denounced Inquest's plagiarization of a Type I deck built during Fifth Edition rules. Reiffer called Tan out on the Meridian Magic e-group and said "They differed by one card. ONE FUCKING CARD. I felt that opened a big hole in making a real case in regards to the problem."

Reiffer then called Tan a pussy for not filing charges against Inquest after he found a local lawyer willing to take the case for a thousand dollars of Tan's Star City store credit.

The Ferrett denied the spat broke out after a jealous Reiffer found out that Tan's Inquest bashing got more hits than his Peasant Magic articles.

A leak called Leaping Lizard said Tan really was a phony, and once pretended to be a homosexual on IRC to filch tech off Reiffer. He found out and is now demanding a share of the wealth from Tan's bajillion "You CAN play this useless format" articles. Leaping Lizard pointed out that Reiffer couldn't even hide his true feelings for Tan on TA "He made a terrible veiled attempt to shoot me down. I was caught a tad off guard. I wasn't against him."

The jilted Reiffer finally realized that Tan was just another "Type I elitist". He came to this conclusion after he tried to talk to Tan about OBC and was answered with comments about Time Walk and Ancestral Recall. Reiffer really socked it to Tan with lines like "Not all Time Walks are equal."

Instead of figuring out that Tan last picked up a Magic card in 1996, Reiffer dragged Tan's longtime partner, Type I fanatic Darren DiBattista, into his rant. A furious DiBattista promised to rip up Reiffer's last article in his Team Academy column, but had trouble looking since Magic
Campus closed a long time ago.

Reiffer went on and on about Tan's alleged relationships with another Star City writer, Geordie Tait, and even Pojo writer John Hornberg. Where did that come from? Well everyone picks on Hornberg these days. Reiffer must really be hurting if Hornberg can get a blow from Tan and he can't.

Asked to comment, Tan denied he ever had a relationship with Reiffer. He said "I live in Manila. I can get a whore for a Nantuko Shade. I can get a young one for a dual land now that Extended is rotating. I love Type I, baby!" Tan also denied doing it with the coon hat for free.

Reiffer promises that the war is not yet over. He said "I loathe the Tan type. He wanted an enemy. He got one. I will stick his Black Lotus up his ass." The 16 other Type I elitists in the world vowed to defend their leader and alerted Tan's relatives in the Manila-based terrorist group Abu Sayaf.

Tan said that he didn't understand what was up Reiffer's ass because it was all just a game to him. He makes his real money off the Manila rave scene. With many gigs under his belt, he is being considered for a lucrative DJ job. It'll let him pay his way through law school by taking speed and twirling glow sticks. He also won't need to pass the time ranting to Buehler about why green is not a color.

Stunned by the number of hits Reiffer brought in, Team Academy is now contacting Premium Writer Sean McKeown to spill the beans on that other phony, Zvi Mowshowitz. More on that next week.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Featured Writer Will Reiffer broke Star City's goody two shoes image Saturday by sending in an acidic piece to none other than rival site Team Academy.

It wasn't a review. Reiffer's article called fellow Featured Writer Oscar Tan "the biggest phony I've met in the game".

Shocked Star City readers denied it had anything to do with Writer's War. Tan is now carrying the Star City name in the final round and Reiffer was not even listed, but he proudly told the world he "started at Magic Campus". The same readers also believed that the USA is not in danger from another terrorist attack and TPM was a better film than AOTC.

The rift between Tan and Reiffer began after Tan violently denounced Inquest's plagiarization of a Type I deck built during Fifth Edition rules. Reiffer called Tan out on the Meridian Magic e-group and said "They differed by one card. ONE FUCKING CARD. I felt that opened a big hole in making a real case in regards to the problem."

Reiffer then called Tan a pussy for not filing charges against Inquest after he found a local lawyer willing to take the case for a thousand dollars of Tan's Star City store credit.

The Ferrett denied the spat broke out after a jealous Reiffer found out that Tan's Inquest bashing got more hits than his Peasant Magic articles.

A leak called Leaping Lizard said Tan really was a phony, and once pretended to be a homosexual on IRC to filch tech off Reiffer. He found out and is now demanding a share of the wealth from Tan's bajillion "You CAN play this useless format" articles. Leaping Lizard pointed out that Reiffer couldn't even hide his true feelings for Tan on TA "He made a terrible veiled attempt to shoot me down. I was caught a tad off guard. I wasn't against him."

The jilted Reiffer finally realized that Tan was just another "Type I elitist". He came to this conclusion after he tried to talk to Tan about OBC and was answered with comments about Time Walk and Ancestral Recall. Reiffer really socked it to Tan with lines like "Not all Time Walks are equal."

Instead of figuring out that Tan last picked up a Magic card in 1996, Reiffer dragged Tan's longtime partner, Type I fanatic Darren DiBattista, into his rant. A furious DiBattista promised to rip up Reiffer's last article in his Team Academy column, but had trouble looking since Magic
Campus closed a long time ago.

Reiffer went on and on about Tan's alleged relationships with another Star City writer, Geordie Tait, and even Pojo writer John Hornberg. Where did that come from? Well everyone picks on Hornberg these days. Reiffer must really be hurting if Hornberg can get a blow from Tan and he can't.

Asked to comment, Tan denied he ever had a relationship with Reiffer. He said "I live in Manila. I can get a whore for a Nantuko Shade. I can get a young one for a dual land now that Extended is rotating. I love Type I, baby!" Tan also denied doing it with the coon hat for free.

Reiffer promises that the war is not yet over. He said "I loathe the Tan type. He wanted an enemy. He got one. I will stick his Black Lotus up his ass." The 16 other Type I elitists in the world vowed to defend their leader and alerted Tan's relatives in the Manila-based terrorist group Abu Sayaf.

Tan said that he didn't understand what was up Reiffer's ass because it was all just a game to him. He makes his real money off the Manila rave scene. With many gigs under his belt, he is being considered for a lucrative DJ job. It'll let him pay his way through law school by taking speed and twirling glow sticks. He also won't need to pass the time ranting to Buehler about why green is not a color.

Stunned by the number of hits Reiffer brought in, Team Academy is now contacting Premium Writer Sean McKeown to spill the beans on that other phony, Zvi Mowshowitz. More on that next week.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!