Renton, Washington - Leonard H Wittgenstein, the newly appointed president of Wizards of the Coast, is trying to get Magic players into a new craze: rock, paper, scissors.

"It's really not a cost-cutting measure," claims Wittgenstein, the former Vice-President of Pokemon at Wizards. "We noticed that some players were playing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to decide who goes first, and we realized that it was more fun than Magic itself. This move was a natural decision for all of us."

Sources, however, claim that Wizards is in deep financial trouble, and is making the switch to Rock, Paper, Scissors to cut cardboard expenses. A WotC spokesman denied this vehemently."We are making the switch here," claimed Kamahl, Pit Fighter, "Not because it's cheaper, but simply because we feel that it's the next step for Wizards. We are counting on Magic players to join us in newer and more interesting games." He would not answer any questions about the value of Pokemon stock.

Should rock, paper, scissors be adopted as the next Magic, the transition will go smoothly, claims Mark Rosewater of rockpaperscissorsthegathering.com. "Instead of decks," he explains, "Players will bring objects with them to a tournament. We plan on selling booster cartons, and inside each carton you'll find a rock, a pair of scissors, or a sheet of paper. You must bring one such object as your maindeck and another as a sideboard. Matches are still to be played best out of three."

Talk is high of Sealed rock, paper, scissors, as well. In this format, all players will open three boosters, and decided which object to maindeck, sideboarding the other two.

There is also a Pro Tour in planning for the new game, which is set to rival www.wrpsl.org, and several prominent Magic strategy writers are negotiating with worldrps.com. One can only wish them good luck breaking such a remarkably stagnant metagame.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Renton, Washington - Leonard H Wittgenstein, the newly appointed president of Wizards of the Coast, is trying to get Magic players into a new craze: rock, paper, scissors.

"It's really not a cost-cutting measure," claims Wittgenstein, the former Vice-President of Pokemon at Wizards. "We noticed that some players were playing 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' to decide who goes first, and we realized that it was more fun than Magic itself. This move was a natural decision for all of us."

Sources, however, claim that Wizards is in deep financial trouble, and is making the switch to Rock, Paper, Scissors to cut cardboard expenses. A WotC spokesman denied this vehemently."We are making the switch here," claimed Kamahl, Pit Fighter, "Not because it's cheaper, but simply because we feel that it's the next step for Wizards. We are counting on Magic players to join us in newer and more interesting games." He would not answer any questions about the value of Pokemon stock.

Should rock, paper, scissors be adopted as the next Magic, the transition will go smoothly, claims Mark Rosewater of rockpaperscissorsthegathering.com. "Instead of decks," he explains, "Players will bring objects with them to a tournament. We plan on selling booster cartons, and inside each carton you'll find a rock, a pair of scissors, or a sheet of paper. You must bring one such object as your maindeck and another as a sideboard. Matches are still to be played best out of three."

Talk is high of Sealed rock, paper, scissors, as well. In this format, all players will open three boosters, and decided which object to maindeck, sideboarding the other two.

There is also a Pro Tour in planning for the new game, which is set to rival www.wrpsl.org, and several prominent Magic strategy writers are negotiating with worldrps.com. One can only wish them good luck breaking such a remarkably stagnant metagame.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!