Seattle, WA - Its been a rough year for Seattle-based Wizards of the Coast. The world-renown gaming company emerged out of a damp, dark basement a decade ago and has fought its way to the top of the world. Games such as Magic: the Gathering and Pokémon quickly guided the company to fame and fortune. Unfortunately, this golden age is fading.

Children are no longer buying into the Pikacu craze. Hasbro has a firm grip on the company’s balls. Urza is dead. Former senior vice president of operations Tom Federline has shown his financial prowess to be as trustworthy as Ed Fear’s sideboard management and Catholic daycare. Richard Garfield, creator of M:tG, was savagely beaten by a former minion of Satan.

Now Wizards faces something even worse: a lawsuit. Again. Jesus Christ (of Christian fame) announced Friday that he would be seeking legal charges against Wizards of the Coast for copyright infringement. The suit hits WoTC while it is in the process of rotating Extended and replacing Vince Calouri, Wizards CEO, who is retiring.

“I copyrighted Judgment almost 2000 years ago! What makes these shitheads think they can slip this past the public? I warned Dad not to license His wrath to them nine years ago, but noooooo, nobody listens to me,” groaned the Son of God.

Upcoming CEO Chuck Heubner was quick to point the finger of blame. “It's all Rosewater’s fault. All he does is talk about his comedic “talent” and piss people off. I knew something was fishy about calling the set Judgment. We’re lucky we aren’t burning in Hell already after that whole Apocalypse fiasco" He added, "Federline had the right idea.”

Hearing dates have not been announced at this time.

In related news, Lucifer Morningstar, bane of all that is warm and fuzzy, announced he supported WoTC and would stand by them until the end of time.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Seattle, WA - Its been a rough year for Seattle-based Wizards of the Coast. The world-renown gaming company emerged out of a damp, dark basement a decade ago and has fought its way to the top of the world. Games such as Magic: the Gathering and Pokémon quickly guided the company to fame and fortune. Unfortunately, this golden age is fading.

Children are no longer buying into the Pikacu craze. Hasbro has a firm grip on the company’s balls. Urza is dead. Former senior vice president of operations Tom Federline has shown his financial prowess to be as trustworthy as Ed Fear’s sideboard management and Catholic daycare. Richard Garfield, creator of M:tG, was savagely beaten by a former minion of Satan.

Now Wizards faces something even worse: a lawsuit. Again. Jesus Christ (of Christian fame) announced Friday that he would be seeking legal charges against Wizards of the Coast for copyright infringement. The suit hits WoTC while it is in the process of rotating Extended and replacing Vince Calouri, Wizards CEO, who is retiring.

“I copyrighted Judgment almost 2000 years ago! What makes these shitheads think they can slip this past the public? I warned Dad not to license His wrath to them nine years ago, but noooooo, nobody listens to me,” groaned the Son of God.

Upcoming CEO Chuck Heubner was quick to point the finger of blame. “It's all Rosewater’s fault. All he does is talk about his comedic “talent” and piss people off. I knew something was fishy about calling the set Judgment. We’re lucky we aren’t burning in Hell already after that whole Apocalypse fiasco" He added, "Federline had the right idea.”

Hearing dates have not been announced at this time.

In related news, Lucifer Morningstar, bane of all that is warm and fuzzy, announced he supported WoTC and would stand by them until the end of time.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!