SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Jeff Harbuck, a 25 year old MTG player unwittingly began a downward spiral which eventually ended his brief relationship with Jill Valesco by revealing he played Magic.

The fateful revelation came after their second session of lovemaking, and Valesco reacted by commenting "Oh... yeah, some of the kids at my summer camp [where she is employed] played that like 6 years ago."

Harbuck's attempts to recover from that impression ultimately proved futile, although he was adamant in insisting that Magic is a respectable game. "Yeah, I mean little kids like it cause they think the pictures are cool, but trust me man, there's like a lot of complicated strategy." Attempting to emphasize this point, Jeff only accelerated his demise when he drew an unfortunate parallel: "It's like Dungeons and Dragons, but also kinda like chess."

Harbuck believes that it is his lack of experience with women that ultimately led to the breakup. "I had the impression that like as soon as you banged a chick you totally had the upper hand in the relationship, she'd get that sorta lover's blindness and not see your faults and want you to marry her and shit."

Experts say that the aforementioned process usually takes six to twelve months, during which the female can re-evaluate her decision and realize she is fucking a loser.

Valesco came to this realization, and is currently looking for another mate. Harbuck's prospects are poor, as he continues to fill his Friday nights with mediocre performances at a local card store.

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Jeff Harbuck, a 25 year old MTG player unwittingly began a downward spiral which eventually ended his brief relationship with Jill Valesco by revealing he played Magic.

The fateful revelation came after their second session of lovemaking, and Valesco reacted by commenting "Oh... yeah, some of the kids at my summer camp [where she is employed] played that like 6 years ago."

Harbuck's attempts to recover from that impression ultimately proved futile, although he was adamant in insisting that Magic is a respectable game. "Yeah, I mean little kids like it cause they think the pictures are cool, but trust me man, there's like a lot of complicated strategy." Attempting to emphasize this point, Jeff only accelerated his demise when he drew an unfortunate parallel: "It's like Dungeons and Dragons, but also kinda like chess."

Harbuck believes that it is his lack of experience with women that ultimately led to the breakup. "I had the impression that like as soon as you banged a chick you totally had the upper hand in the relationship, she'd get that sorta lover's blindness and not see your faults and want you to marry her and shit."

Experts say that the aforementioned process usually takes six to twelve months, during which the female can re-evaluate her decision and realize she is fucking a loser.

Valesco came to this realization, and is currently looking for another mate. Harbuck's prospects are poor, as he continues to fill his Friday nights with mediocre performances at a local card store.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!