COLUMBUS, OH -- The Ferret, editor of eternascrub site StarCityGames.com, successfully underwent an eight-hour procedure today to remove Team Academy webmaster Andy Stokinger's nose from his colon.

"It was all right at first, I guess," said Ferret, bandaged and leaking from the waist down, "But it got annoying always having AndyStok up there. For one thing, it made it difficult to sit down; for another, it was sort of distracting hearing a muffled 'It's shiiiiiiit!' whenever I tried to edit a Daniel Crane article.

"But the final straw," he concluded, "Was when I tried to write my latest article. Turns out that talking out my ass was the only way I could write my strategy-free articles, and AndyStok was blocking that."

Andrew Stokinger's nose became wedged in The Ferret's ass almost two months ago when he wrote "Cunning Wish for Reclamation - Ranting on Nut Bust." In the article, Stokinger began the process of colonic burrowing by thanking the Ferret repeatedly for both spellchecking and checking StarCity's crappy articles for factual content.

AndyStok was then expected to thank Starbucks employees for making coffee and parking attendants for taking his money when he became wedged in the ileocecal valve, about three inches away from The Ferret's appendix.

At first, doctors believed AndyStok to be a large hemorrhoid - but a sigmoidoscopy quickly revealed the large fleshy mass protruding from Ferret's anus to be a Team Academy member, causing the doctors to upgrade Ferret's case to "serious."

"After all," said Doctor Moojamboo, "Everyone knows that Team Academy members are worse than hemorrhoids."

The reasons behind AndyStok's awkward lodging are unknown. Some believe that it has something to do with praising a guy who shit all over his friend and teammate; others believe that perhaps AndyStok would praise anyone who paid him money to write articles, including Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and Geddes.

This is the second time that the Ferret has had surgery to remove Stokinger from his ass; the first time was two years ago, when he underwent a minor procedure to remove a Team Academy boot from his anus.

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COLUMBUS, OH -- The Ferret, editor of eternascrub site StarCityGames.com, successfully underwent an eight-hour procedure today to remove Team Academy webmaster Andy Stokinger's nose from his colon.

"It was all right at first, I guess," said Ferret, bandaged and leaking from the waist down, "But it got annoying always having AndyStok up there. For one thing, it made it difficult to sit down; for another, it was sort of distracting hearing a muffled 'It's shiiiiiiit!' whenever I tried to edit a Daniel Crane article.

"But the final straw," he concluded, "Was when I tried to write my latest article. Turns out that talking out my ass was the only way I could write my strategy-free articles, and AndyStok was blocking that."

Andrew Stokinger's nose became wedged in The Ferret's ass almost two months ago when he wrote "Cunning Wish for Reclamation - Ranting on Nut Bust." In the article, Stokinger began the process of colonic burrowing by thanking the Ferret repeatedly for both spellchecking and checking StarCity's crappy articles for factual content.

AndyStok was then expected to thank Starbucks employees for making coffee and parking attendants for taking his money when he became wedged in the ileocecal valve, about three inches away from The Ferret's appendix.

At first, doctors believed AndyStok to be a large hemorrhoid - but a sigmoidoscopy quickly revealed the large fleshy mass protruding from Ferret's anus to be a Team Academy member, causing the doctors to upgrade Ferret's case to "serious."

"After all," said Doctor Moojamboo, "Everyone knows that Team Academy members are worse than hemorrhoids."

The reasons behind AndyStok's awkward lodging are unknown. Some believe that it has something to do with praising a guy who shit all over his friend and teammate; others believe that perhaps AndyStok would praise anyone who paid him money to write articles, including Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and Geddes.

This is the second time that the Ferret has had surgery to remove Stokinger from his ass; the first time was two years ago, when he underwent a minor procedure to remove a Team Academy boot from his anus.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!