Renton, WA -- After 10 years of successful publication, sources on message boards across the internet have revealed that Wizards of the Coast is implementing a plan to destroy Magic. Sources indicate that this plan will involve a two-pronged attack on the popular trading card game.

Firstly, Wizards plans to release an all creature set that it will not be satisfying to draft as a stand-alone set. Sources also indicate that the lack of basic lands in the set will make it impossible to play constructed with the set and that the card stock is such that will not be pleasant to eat the cards.

Secondly, Wizards of the Coast has designed a new layout that cards from 8th Edition and onward will follow. This layout will probably kill Magic because of the greater readability. Separate boxes for card type, card name, and power and toughness, as well as larger art, will increase card recognizability and legibility, thereby discouraging old and new players alike.

Said one contributor to message boards, "I R3ALLY L1K3 TH3 0LD DEZ1N3Z!!!!!!!1 W1$$ARDZ IZ K1LLING MAGIC BY MAK1NG IT 3AZY T0 R3AD THE CARDZ! 1F P30P3L CANT R3AD TH3M THY3R3 2 DUMD 2 PLAY N3 WAY."

This decision on Wizards of the Coast follows in a long line of unsuccessful attempts to stop making money. These include:
- A set focusing on creature types
- A set weighted toward a certain color
- The Madness mechanic
- Charging for Magic Online
- The Threshold and Flashback mechanics
- Cephalids
- Spiritmonger
- Opposite color cards
- Flametongue Kavu
- Split cards
- Gold cards
- Banning Necropotence
- Prophecy
- Lin-Sivvi, Defiant Hero
- Fading
- The elimination of combo as a viable deck type
- Sets with low power level
- Echo
- Combo decks
- Still not banning Necropotence
- "6th Edition" Rules
- Sets with high power level
- Foil cards
- Not printing any more Slivers
- Printing rarity on the cards
- Survival of the Fittest
- Shadow
- Buyback
- Storylines arching over several sets
- This Gerrard guy
- Fireblast
- Reminder text
- Removing Lightning Bolt from 5th Edition
- Not banning Necropotence
- Net-decking
- Removing Dual Lands from 4th Edition
- Homelands
- Reprinting Icy Manipulator
- Necropotence. That card is so weak!
- Having a standalone expansion
- Fallen Empires
- Not printing enough of The Dark
- Gold cards
- "Bands with" keyword
- Changing the cards in the basic set
- An expansion focusing on Artifacts
- An expansion that requires having the original game as well
- Making 4 "boons" common but 1 uncommon
- Dual Lands
- Having cards with different rarities
- Making a game where you don't get all of the cards at once

Sources also indicate that Wizards is trying to destroy Magic by making White, Green, Blue, Red, Black, and Artifact cards too strong and too weak.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Renton, WA -- After 10 years of successful publication, sources on message boards across the internet have revealed that Wizards of the Coast is implementing a plan to destroy Magic. Sources indicate that this plan will involve a two-pronged attack on the popular trading card game.

Firstly, Wizards plans to release an all creature set that it will not be satisfying to draft as a stand-alone set. Sources also indicate that the lack of basic lands in the set will make it impossible to play constructed with the set and that the card stock is such that will not be pleasant to eat the cards.

Secondly, Wizards of the Coast has designed a new layout that cards from 8th Edition and onward will follow. This layout will probably kill Magic because of the greater readability. Separate boxes for card type, card name, and power and toughness, as well as larger art, will increase card recognizability and legibility, thereby discouraging old and new players alike.

Said one contributor to message boards, "I R3ALLY L1K3 TH3 0LD DEZ1N3Z!!!!!!!1 W1$$ARDZ IZ K1LLING MAGIC BY MAK1NG IT 3AZY T0 R3AD THE CARDZ! 1F P30P3L CANT R3AD TH3M THY3R3 2 DUMD 2 PLAY N3 WAY."

This decision on Wizards of the Coast follows in a long line of unsuccessful attempts to stop making money. These include:
- A set focusing on creature types
- A set weighted toward a certain color
- The Madness mechanic
- Charging for Magic Online
- The Threshold and Flashback mechanics
- Cephalids
- Spiritmonger
- Opposite color cards
- Flametongue Kavu
- Split cards
- Gold cards
- Banning Necropotence
- Prophecy
- Lin-Sivvi, Defiant Hero
- Fading
- The elimination of combo as a viable deck type
- Sets with low power level
- Echo
- Combo decks
- Still not banning Necropotence
- "6th Edition" Rules
- Sets with high power level
- Foil cards
- Not printing any more Slivers
- Printing rarity on the cards
- Survival of the Fittest
- Shadow
- Buyback
- Storylines arching over several sets
- This Gerrard guy
- Fireblast
- Reminder text
- Removing Lightning Bolt from 5th Edition
- Not banning Necropotence
- Net-decking
- Removing Dual Lands from 4th Edition
- Homelands
- Reprinting Icy Manipulator
- Necropotence. That card is so weak!
- Having a standalone expansion
- Fallen Empires
- Not printing enough of The Dark
- Gold cards
- "Bands with" keyword
- Changing the cards in the basic set
- An expansion focusing on Artifacts
- An expansion that requires having the original game as well
- Making 4 "boons" common but 1 uncommon
- Dual Lands
- Having cards with different rarities
- Making a game where you don't get all of the cards at once

Sources also indicate that Wizards is trying to destroy Magic by making White, Green, Blue, Red, Black, and Artifact cards too strong and too weak.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!