An Editorial by Reverend Bob the Junkie.

I was perusing the sideboard.com site the other day (before Kai’s disturbingly familiar performance at yet another Pro Tour... *YAWN*) and I happened to look up at the eighth-edition previews (SHUT UP AND READ, GODDAMMIT! I know what you’re thinking, but chill for a second and you might learn something, this is better than just a rant). By now, everyone’s feelings have been pretty much voiced one way or the other. You like it, or you don’t. One way or the other, we’re stuck with this befoulment of our cards.

More than anything, THAT is what is pissing me off.

A major change like this, a change that *WILL* affect the game, and we the players (suckers now) get NO warning and NO options. Let’s take a step back and look at this from our collective rape-victim’s angle...

First, WotC spends extravagant amounts of money on their website to make their players feel like they have some kind of a say-so in what happens in this game, but then they let loose this complete blasphemy without even a pandering crumb thrown to the players about whether or not we might like it. All we get is these Yu-Gi-Oh!-ripoffs thrown in our faces and we’re told that’s the way it’s GONNA be. Then, Buehler, (in an interview with MTGnews.com,) said he asked around the Pro-Tour whether or not people liked the cards and got a few positive responses.

Congratulations, Captain Obvious, of COURSE you got some positive responses. A bunch of little sycophants hoping to get their names in the next issue of Sideboard? You’re right they kissed your ass! I dare you to bring that shit on tour to Friday Night Magic across the country; you’ll get some honest goddamned answers then from the people who still pay for their cards. I guaran-goddamn-tee you would have gotten some insightful (heh...) answers where I play. Even better, I’d like to see you and your people take your little poll through some pre-releases and see what kind of answers you get THERE, you bunch of goddamn hypocrites...

Another thing I REALLY loved about this interview was how Buehler shot down everyone who posts in message boards about how much the new card format SUCKS. How beautifully poetic, Mr. Buehler! You managed to tell everyone exactly how WotC feels about their customer’s opinions! Will that make you and your company look any better in the eyes of the people who pay for the cards? “In a word: No”

Welcome to Poke-gi-oh: The Gathering.

Whose bright idea was this, anyway? I don’t just mean the changes themselves, but the idea that making these huge changes without asking for opinions from the people who would be most affected would be acceptable. Whoever you are, you owe me a explanation if you expect me to keep buying this product. As one of the many suckers who bought Onslaught by the box, I want and deserve to see someone publicly take responsibility for this, for better or for worse. This new look is beyond a change to rules text or reminder text, this is a change to the whole card look and feel, and that makes a fundamental change to the game. I sure as shit hope you guys didn’t change the cardstock...

I thought I could end the article there (Oh, the torture! The HUMANITY!!! Someone make the bad man stop, PLEASE!!!), but then the ugly head of the legions spoiler-list burst forth into my life like a giant anime tentacle-penis bent on ejaculating hellish destruction throughout a Tokyo all-girl’s school. If that spoiler list is right (and it is still a possibility that the spoiler list can be at the very least 50% wrong), this set is going to be good for two things: drafting and sideboard cards. I’ve seen all of two rares that I will chase down 4 of as soon as possible. The rest is regrettable shit. Oh, sure, there’s a few commons/uncommons that might be fun/useful for constructed, but I’m not talking about that right now. Here’s my point (bout time, eh?):

As a constructed-deck magic player, my collection and my cards are an INVESTMENT. They should be WORTH something. Spending $3.00-4.00 for a pack of cards that will yield exactly $.25 of return value *IF* my commons are good is NOT a good investment. That math gets even WORSE when I can buy a box and, after a $65-80 investment ($100.00 for the poor schmucks that actually pay full retail), get MAYBE a realistic value of $25-45 in return. WotC is running a racket on us all. These sets are being designed more and more for the limited environments instead of the constructed ones. I will not be buying Legions by the box. I will buy only the boosters I need for sealed or draft; the rest I will trade for. I hate trading...

Until next goddamned time, may all your goddamned artifacts still look like goddamned artifacts instead of white goddamned cards.

Reverend Bob the Junkie
Bobthejunky@hotmail.com

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

An Editorial by Reverend Bob the Junkie.

I was perusing the sideboard.com site the other day (before Kai’s disturbingly familiar performance at yet another Pro Tour... *YAWN*) and I happened to look up at the eighth-edition previews (SHUT UP AND READ, GODDAMMIT! I know what you’re thinking, but chill for a second and you might learn something, this is better than just a rant). By now, everyone’s feelings have been pretty much voiced one way or the other. You like it, or you don’t. One way or the other, we’re stuck with this befoulment of our cards.

More than anything, THAT is what is pissing me off.

A major change like this, a change that *WILL* affect the game, and we the players (suckers now) get NO warning and NO options. Let’s take a step back and look at this from our collective rape-victim’s angle...

First, WotC spends extravagant amounts of money on their website to make their players feel like they have some kind of a say-so in what happens in this game, but then they let loose this complete blasphemy without even a pandering crumb thrown to the players about whether or not we might like it. All we get is these Yu-Gi-Oh!-ripoffs thrown in our faces and we’re told that’s the way it’s GONNA be. Then, Buehler, (in an interview with MTGnews.com,) said he asked around the Pro-Tour whether or not people liked the cards and got a few positive responses.

Congratulations, Captain Obvious, of COURSE you got some positive responses. A bunch of little sycophants hoping to get their names in the next issue of Sideboard? You’re right they kissed your ass! I dare you to bring that shit on tour to Friday Night Magic across the country; you’ll get some honest goddamned answers then from the people who still pay for their cards. I guaran-goddamn-tee you would have gotten some insightful (heh...) answers where I play. Even better, I’d like to see you and your people take your little poll through some pre-releases and see what kind of answers you get THERE, you bunch of goddamn hypocrites...

Another thing I REALLY loved about this interview was how Buehler shot down everyone who posts in message boards about how much the new card format SUCKS. How beautifully poetic, Mr. Buehler! You managed to tell everyone exactly how WotC feels about their customer’s opinions! Will that make you and your company look any better in the eyes of the people who pay for the cards? “In a word: No”

Welcome to Poke-gi-oh: The Gathering.

Whose bright idea was this, anyway? I don’t just mean the changes themselves, but the idea that making these huge changes without asking for opinions from the people who would be most affected would be acceptable. Whoever you are, you owe me a explanation if you expect me to keep buying this product. As one of the many suckers who bought Onslaught by the box, I want and deserve to see someone publicly take responsibility for this, for better or for worse. This new look is beyond a change to rules text or reminder text, this is a change to the whole card look and feel, and that makes a fundamental change to the game. I sure as shit hope you guys didn’t change the cardstock...

I thought I could end the article there (Oh, the torture! The HUMANITY!!! Someone make the bad man stop, PLEASE!!!), but then the ugly head of the legions spoiler-list burst forth into my life like a giant anime tentacle-penis bent on ejaculating hellish destruction throughout a Tokyo all-girl’s school. If that spoiler list is right (and it is still a possibility that the spoiler list can be at the very least 50% wrong), this set is going to be good for two things: drafting and sideboard cards. I’ve seen all of two rares that I will chase down 4 of as soon as possible. The rest is regrettable shit. Oh, sure, there’s a few commons/uncommons that might be fun/useful for constructed, but I’m not talking about that right now. Here’s my point (bout time, eh?):

As a constructed-deck magic player, my collection and my cards are an INVESTMENT. They should be WORTH something. Spending $3.00-4.00 for a pack of cards that will yield exactly $.25 of return value *IF* my commons are good is NOT a good investment. That math gets even WORSE when I can buy a box and, after a $65-80 investment ($100.00 for the poor schmucks that actually pay full retail), get MAYBE a realistic value of $25-45 in return. WotC is running a racket on us all. These sets are being designed more and more for the limited environments instead of the constructed ones. I will not be buying Legions by the box. I will buy only the boosters I need for sealed or draft; the rest I will trade for. I hate trading...

Until next goddamned time, may all your goddamned artifacts still look like goddamned artifacts instead of white goddamned cards.

Reverend Bob the Junkie
Bobthejunky@hotmail.com

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!