Renton, WA -- Citing that over 14 billion people have opposed the new 8th edition card format, Wizards of the Coast has decided to Rescind their announcement. Mark Rosewater stated, "220% of the world has signed this petition. Noted luminaries George W. Bush, the entire WotC R&D team, the Pope, and others have begged us to change the cards back. Who are we to argue with them?"

This was not the most shocking news of the day. Wizards held a press conference announcing that Eighth Edition will be released in Beta style. "Our player base seems to be very nostalgic. What better way to service that then to purge every innovation from our current card set and take it back to the day. Even further back than when I won GP Toronto and PT Chicago," Randy Buehler announced. He continued "Old skewl style YO!"

Mike and Jeff Donais then took to the podium. "We’ve been hard at work making all the current cards work with Beta rules, eh. There is no more targeting. Or reminder text. Except that the reminder text is now official rules text, eh. We’ve also been working on expanding the creature types. We know that this makes Onslaught next to worthless, but who cares aboot that, eh?"

Reaction to this announcement has been overwhelmingly positive, although there are a few detractors.

Zak Dolan, former world champion: "Anything that brings Magic to an earlier time has to be good for me."

Brian Weissman: "Now if they could just look at the two signatures on my ‘Ban Everything after Homelands’ petition."

Mike Long: "Hopefully the Beta format cards will be compatible with the current cards. But not too compatible."

Timmy Oldschool: "Yay, bury is back! What, that was added in Revised? At least we got rid of the confusing 6e rules, and are back to good
ol’ interrupts."

Rune Horvik: "That’s it. I quit writing Saturday School."

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Renton, WA -- Citing that over 14 billion people have opposed the new 8th edition card format, Wizards of the Coast has decided to Rescind their announcement. Mark Rosewater stated, "220% of the world has signed this petition. Noted luminaries George W. Bush, the entire WotC R&D team, the Pope, and others have begged us to change the cards back. Who are we to argue with them?"

This was not the most shocking news of the day. Wizards held a press conference announcing that Eighth Edition will be released in Beta style. "Our player base seems to be very nostalgic. What better way to service that then to purge every innovation from our current card set and take it back to the day. Even further back than when I won GP Toronto and PT Chicago," Randy Buehler announced. He continued "Old skewl style YO!"

Mike and Jeff Donais then took to the podium. "We’ve been hard at work making all the current cards work with Beta rules, eh. There is no more targeting. Or reminder text. Except that the reminder text is now official rules text, eh. We’ve also been working on expanding the creature types. We know that this makes Onslaught next to worthless, but who cares aboot that, eh?"

Reaction to this announcement has been overwhelmingly positive, although there are a few detractors.

Zak Dolan, former world champion: "Anything that brings Magic to an earlier time has to be good for me."

Brian Weissman: "Now if they could just look at the two signatures on my ‘Ban Everything after Homelands’ petition."

Mike Long: "Hopefully the Beta format cards will be compatible with the current cards. But not too compatible."

Timmy Oldschool: "Yay, bury is back! What, that was added in Revised? At least we got rid of the confusing 6e rules, and are back to good
ol’ interrupts."

Rune Horvik: "That’s it. I quit writing Saturday School."

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!