Seattle, WA -- Hot on the tails of the announcement of a redesign for the popular trading card game "Magic the Gathering", Mark "Bling Bling" Rosewater has commented that he is going to change his name to the more dignified "Maro-Diddy," and that he is considering changing the official name of the card game to "Em Tee G-lo" so that it will have a more widespread "MTV generation" appeal.

Also announced were plans to decide the tie breakers for PTQ's instead with a lowrider hydraulic bounce off, and to decide tie breaks for actual pro tours with freestyle rap contest a la "8 Mile". Through extensive research, Maro-Diddy has found that the player base for magic wasn't diverse enough, so he has decided to start recruiting players who can "keep it real."

Additionally he revealed a future plan to have all Friday Night Magic events as well as Arena League have been combined into a new event called "Friday Night Arena". At these events players will have the chance to battle like gladiators for foil promo cards. When one gladiator has beaten another, they will be given a chance to stay in the competition by answering a ridiculously pointless and obscure trivia question designed by Maro-Diddy himself. If they answer it incorrectly, they are immediately forced to buy packs at retail, which has been reported to be a fate far worse than death.

Later I was able to interview Maro-Diddy one on one. He talked for hours about "The Matrix" and its closeness to "Magic Online". "I think MTGO is a lot like the matrix. We keep the players in the dark, we slowly feed them new cards, and we actually get them to collect virtual foil. Who knew people would pay money in the hopes that their card would have a low resolution shooting star at the bottom? I cant believe they actually fell for it! We have a thousand batteries all networked together feeding cash into the organization. Its great! Expect to see Pokémon Online and Yu-Gi-Oh online coming soon."

We chatted a bit more about his great ideas for possibly printing ultra rare foil cards with the OLD design for people to chase after on a purely limited basis. Then I asked him why he thought direct damage was combat damage. He quickly called over his bodyguards and had me escorted out.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Seattle, WA -- Hot on the tails of the announcement of a redesign for the popular trading card game "Magic the Gathering", Mark "Bling Bling" Rosewater has commented that he is going to change his name to the more dignified "Maro-Diddy," and that he is considering changing the official name of the card game to "Em Tee G-lo" so that it will have a more widespread "MTV generation" appeal.

Also announced were plans to decide the tie breakers for PTQ's instead with a lowrider hydraulic bounce off, and to decide tie breaks for actual pro tours with freestyle rap contest a la "8 Mile". Through extensive research, Maro-Diddy has found that the player base for magic wasn't diverse enough, so he has decided to start recruiting players who can "keep it real."

Additionally he revealed a future plan to have all Friday Night Magic events as well as Arena League have been combined into a new event called "Friday Night Arena". At these events players will have the chance to battle like gladiators for foil promo cards. When one gladiator has beaten another, they will be given a chance to stay in the competition by answering a ridiculously pointless and obscure trivia question designed by Maro-Diddy himself. If they answer it incorrectly, they are immediately forced to buy packs at retail, which has been reported to be a fate far worse than death.

Later I was able to interview Maro-Diddy one on one. He talked for hours about "The Matrix" and its closeness to "Magic Online". "I think MTGO is a lot like the matrix. We keep the players in the dark, we slowly feed them new cards, and we actually get them to collect virtual foil. Who knew people would pay money in the hopes that their card would have a low resolution shooting star at the bottom? I cant believe they actually fell for it! We have a thousand batteries all networked together feeding cash into the organization. Its great! Expect to see Pokémon Online and Yu-Gi-Oh online coming soon."

We chatted a bit more about his great ideas for possibly printing ultra rare foil cards with the OLD design for people to chase after on a purely limited basis. Then I asked him why he thought direct damage was combat damage. He quickly called over his bodyguards and had me escorted out.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!