I was going to write a Week in Review this week but basically nothing happened, at all. Well, to be fair, Scott Johns did make his triumphant return to writing about Magic on what may be the most prestigious and well-respected site in Magic history, and perhaps the entire history of the Internet, none other than StarCityGames.com. Did you know that StarCity’s deck discussion qualified has THREE players for nationals already? No lies there I’m afraid. Other than that, nothing much happened, aside from Gary Wise finding the last possible Magic city on the planet that wasn’t sick of him and settling down there. So basically, not enough for anything this week.

But, rather than leave you all with nothing to do but beat off to your Akroma’s again, I decided to use this opportunity to take a look at the best MiseTings articles of all time. This is the Top 20 list that I mentioned previously, presented here for the purpose of giving props to those who deserve them while at the same time passive-aggressively shitting on those writers whose stuff did not make the list =] Now, some of you may be wondering why you should care about my personal opinion, but the simple fact is that when it comes to writing comedy, I know more than you do and my opinion counts while yours means nothing. Now, a lot of you will probably point out the arrogant, assholish nature of the preceding statement, but at least I can back up my claim with 30+ articles of pure gas. That’s more than you can say.

So, with that said, here is my Top 20 list. This week will cover #20-11, with the top 10 coming whenever I am out of Week in Review material again. As a side note, I did not consider any retro articles or reader discussions, and I did not consider any of my own articles for obvious reasons (if you are thinking of tinging me here, save it, you probably wouldn’t do it right anyway).

Here we go…

20. The Bloodsucker Proxy by KK

I didn’t like this one at first but it just kept growing on me. Like all of KK’s stuff, this one is very cleverly written, probably because KK is better at Magic, and thus for all practical purposes smarter, than you.

19. New Feature Added to Michael Clauss Articles by Anonymous

A descendant of the original “Man Blind Himself After Reading CCGPrime,” this one takes aim at one of the most irritating writers since Joshua X. The diagram and medical instructions are just savage.

18. Pro Player Qualifies, Credits Internet by sedjtroll

This one if definitely on here because of the picture. A picture is worth a thousand words, you know, and this one is just classic. Achmed ben-Achmed al-Achad lol.

17. Cock Shit: Kai Wins Again by MD

The original MD Rant™, this one stirred up a lot of controversy but its actually quite funny and very well written once you get over yourself. The reader response to this article is also hilarious.

16. Man Blinds Himself After Reading CCGPrime by RevToby

Some might say that this one is too easy, since articles about CCGPrime practically write themselves. However, the concept behind this one is just classic, the inspiration for such follow-ups as “Player Hailed As ‘The Next Zvi Mowshowitz’ Commits Suicide’ and the aforementioned Clauss article.

15. Ask A Donais by RevToby

Both of RevToby’s “Ask A…” articles are savage, but this one makes the cut over “Ask Mike Flores” just because of the way it mirrors EXACTLY the kinds of things a Donais might actually say.

14. Casual Gamer Unable to Comprehend Enemy’s Attack by Francois Vincent

I suspect that many of you readers are multiplayer aficionados, and yes, you do sound exactly like this. Beautiful, just beautiful.

13. Wizards of the Coast Reveals New “Slammer” Mechanic by JC

Jeff Cunningham is the best there is when it comes to the writing of the articles. This one has maybe the funniest single lines ever with the Channel/Fireball split card and the reference to The Stack.

12. Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver by JC

And then there is this gem, the first and probably only funny article that will ever be written about the Fantasy Pro Tour. Funny because its so true.

11. Zvi Mowshowitz Doesn’t Take a Shower by stevegossett

This one is an all-around beating by one of my favorite authors. To quote Mike Flores, “When I see a dude taking a shower I spring forth!” And yes, this one is also all true.

So that wraps up this week’s article. I’m not sure when I’ll put up the rest of the top 10, but in order to increase the suspense I will personally be offering a virtual Entrails Feaster to the authors of the top three articles (TWO Entrails Feasters to the author of the #1 article, how lucky!).

While I realize that this may not seem like much of a prize, I should point out that it is more than I or anyone else has ever gotten for writing here. Not only that, but each of those Feasters can theoretically net half a ticket on Magic Online, which for a drafter like myself is akin to giving away pure oxygen or my firstborn child. So, stay tuned to see who the lucky winners are (I have already chosen them of course, but I will pretend to be surprised and excited as well).

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

I was going to write a Week in Review this week but basically nothing happened, at all. Well, to be fair, Scott Johns did make his triumphant return to writing about Magic on what may be the most prestigious and well-respected site in Magic history, and perhaps the entire history of the Internet, none other than StarCityGames.com. Did you know that StarCity’s deck discussion qualified has THREE players for nationals already? No lies there I’m afraid. Other than that, nothing much happened, aside from Gary Wise finding the last possible Magic city on the planet that wasn’t sick of him and settling down there. So basically, not enough for anything this week.

But, rather than leave you all with nothing to do but beat off to your Akroma’s again, I decided to use this opportunity to take a look at the best MiseTings articles of all time. This is the Top 20 list that I mentioned previously, presented here for the purpose of giving props to those who deserve them while at the same time passive-aggressively shitting on those writers whose stuff did not make the list =] Now, some of you may be wondering why you should care about my personal opinion, but the simple fact is that when it comes to writing comedy, I know more than you do and my opinion counts while yours means nothing. Now, a lot of you will probably point out the arrogant, assholish nature of the preceding statement, but at least I can back up my claim with 30+ articles of pure gas. That’s more than you can say.

So, with that said, here is my Top 20 list. This week will cover #20-11, with the top 10 coming whenever I am out of Week in Review material again. As a side note, I did not consider any retro articles or reader discussions, and I did not consider any of my own articles for obvious reasons (if you are thinking of tinging me here, save it, you probably wouldn’t do it right anyway).

Here we go…

20. The Bloodsucker Proxy by KK

I didn’t like this one at first but it just kept growing on me. Like all of KK’s stuff, this one is very cleverly written, probably because KK is better at Magic, and thus for all practical purposes smarter, than you.

19. New Feature Added to Michael Clauss Articles by Anonymous

A descendant of the original “Man Blind Himself After Reading CCGPrime,” this one takes aim at one of the most irritating writers since Joshua X. The diagram and medical instructions are just savage.

18. Pro Player Qualifies, Credits Internet by sedjtroll

This one if definitely on here because of the picture. A picture is worth a thousand words, you know, and this one is just classic. Achmed ben-Achmed al-Achad lol.

17. Cock Shit: Kai Wins Again by MD

The original MD Rant™, this one stirred up a lot of controversy but its actually quite funny and very well written once you get over yourself. The reader response to this article is also hilarious.

16. Man Blinds Himself After Reading CCGPrime by RevToby

Some might say that this one is too easy, since articles about CCGPrime practically write themselves. However, the concept behind this one is just classic, the inspiration for such follow-ups as “Player Hailed As ‘The Next Zvi Mowshowitz’ Commits Suicide’ and the aforementioned Clauss article.

15. Ask A Donais by RevToby

Both of RevToby’s “Ask A…” articles are savage, but this one makes the cut over “Ask Mike Flores” just because of the way it mirrors EXACTLY the kinds of things a Donais might actually say.

14. Casual Gamer Unable to Comprehend Enemy’s Attack by Francois Vincent

I suspect that many of you readers are multiplayer aficionados, and yes, you do sound exactly like this. Beautiful, just beautiful.

13. Wizards of the Coast Reveals New “Slammer” Mechanic by JC

Jeff Cunningham is the best there is when it comes to the writing of the articles. This one has maybe the funniest single lines ever with the Channel/Fireball split card and the reference to The Stack.

12. Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver by JC

And then there is this gem, the first and probably only funny article that will ever be written about the Fantasy Pro Tour. Funny because its so true.

11. Zvi Mowshowitz Doesn’t Take a Shower by stevegossett

This one is an all-around beating by one of my favorite authors. To quote Mike Flores, “When I see a dude taking a shower I spring forth!” And yes, this one is also all true.

So that wraps up this week’s article. I’m not sure when I’ll put up the rest of the top 10, but in order to increase the suspense I will personally be offering a virtual Entrails Feaster to the authors of the top three articles (TWO Entrails Feasters to the author of the #1 article, how lucky!).

While I realize that this may not seem like much of a prize, I should point out that it is more than I or anyone else has ever gotten for writing here. Not only that, but each of those Feasters can theoretically net half a ticket on Magic Online, which for a drafter like myself is akin to giving away pure oxygen or my firstborn child. So, stay tuned to see who the lucky winners are (I have already chosen them of course, but I will pretend to be surprised and excited as well).

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!