Fox Launches "Zvi Millionaire"

In a constant race to outdo itself and others in the quest for more edgy reality TV shows, Fox Networks has decided to follow up "Joe Millionaire" with "Zvi Millionaire". JM was the highest rated show in its time slot, and ZM is expected to shatter that record.

"The premise is, we take a nice, down to earth kind of guy, in this case Zvi Mowshowitz, and convince two dozen hopeful young ladies he's worth a million dollars," explained a top Fox executive. "Zvi will refine the crowd of eligible women each week, until he must select a bride from among the remainder."

"At the beginning of this saga, I barely repelled the onslaught of these legions of women," quoted Zvi. "Each week, it was torment passing my judgment on who could go and who could remain. But towards the end of this odyssey, I've had an easier time making the cut. I've been having visions of one of the contestants in my sleep; she reminds me of the girls from my homeland."

"But there's a twist, you see," continued the executive. "Once Zvi chooses a girl, he has to tell her that he is in fact not worth a million dollars, and in reality, makes his living by telling people how to play a card game. The girl's reaction ought to priceless."

"Of course, we had to spice this up by setting it apart a little from the original Joe Millionaire. There's yet another twist. After the contestant decides that she loves Zvi anyways even if he isn't a millionaire, we reveal to Zvi that all 20 original hopefuls were in fact men in drag. What will Moshowitz say when we tell him he's enamored with a dude? It should be an interesting breakup to watch from that point."

The show is not meant to be confused with "Kai Millionaire".

Note: The writer of this article has been fired for failing to include a Mercadian Masques pun.

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Fox Launches "Zvi Millionaire"

In a constant race to outdo itself and others in the quest for more edgy reality TV shows, Fox Networks has decided to follow up "Joe Millionaire" with "Zvi Millionaire". JM was the highest rated show in its time slot, and ZM is expected to shatter that record.

"The premise is, we take a nice, down to earth kind of guy, in this case Zvi Mowshowitz, and convince two dozen hopeful young ladies he's worth a million dollars," explained a top Fox executive. "Zvi will refine the crowd of eligible women each week, until he must select a bride from among the remainder."

"At the beginning of this saga, I barely repelled the onslaught of these legions of women," quoted Zvi. "Each week, it was torment passing my judgment on who could go and who could remain. But towards the end of this odyssey, I've had an easier time making the cut. I've been having visions of one of the contestants in my sleep; she reminds me of the girls from my homeland."

"But there's a twist, you see," continued the executive. "Once Zvi chooses a girl, he has to tell her that he is in fact not worth a million dollars, and in reality, makes his living by telling people how to play a card game. The girl's reaction ought to priceless."

"Of course, we had to spice this up by setting it apart a little from the original Joe Millionaire. There's yet another twist. After the contestant decides that she loves Zvi anyways even if he isn't a millionaire, we reveal to Zvi that all 20 original hopefuls were in fact men in drag. What will Moshowitz say when we tell him he's enamored with a dude? It should be an interesting breakup to watch from that point."

The show is not meant to be confused with "Kai Millionaire".

Note: The writer of this article has been fired for failing to include a Mercadian Masques pun.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

MiseTings is a Magic: the Gathering humor site. MiseTings.Com is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. MiseTings content does not represent the views or opinions of the editor. All original content herein is copyright © 2001-2006, World Wide Webware, all rights reserved. No portion of this web site may be used in any way without expressed written consent. Magic: The Gathering® is a registered trademark owned by Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc. MiseTings is not produced or endorsed by Wizards of the Coast, Inc. We respect your privacy, interested parties should check our Privacy Policy. Play hard and mise often.