Whew. It's been a long, long time, but I'm back to hit you with more no-holds-barred opinions and in-depth deck analysis. Minus the in-depth deck analysis, of course. Hopefully, this will be the first in a monthly series of rants and opinions that I'll be writing. Of course, if I don't follow through with this, I will flame myself in an upcoming article.

Leading off is the card face change for 8th edition and all subsequent expansions. I'm not normally a naysayer on things like this, but I have to give the critics props here. The card face is truly awful. Without a doubt, this will lead to the end of Magic as we know it. The fantasy setting (to which the card face is very important) will be compromised. It's only a matter of time before the number of players declines… I give it about 3 years to the end of the Pro Tour.

NOT.

Seriously, idiots who talk like this make me want to laugh. It reminds me of the morons who came out of the woodwork when Sixth Edition rules were brought in. They complained about how you couldn't use damage prevention effects and how counterspells would be worthless, et al. Well, they turned out to be dead wrong on that, and so will the card face morons. Honestly, don't you think Wizards of the Coast just might know what they are doing? I mean, seriously. They are a multi-million dollar company, being run by an even wealthier corporation, with focus groups and market research and business plans and research and development-yet you, sitting in your parents' basement, know what is best for the game? You are kidding, right? In a few years, when the game is still thriving and we're all used to the card face, we'll look back and say, "How did we ever play with those retarded looking, hard-to-read old faces?" Mark my words.

As for the "feud" between Gary Wise and Alex Shvartsman, well, I'll just say that a disagreement was never had between two more insignificant Pros. I'm not going to comment on them as people, as that's not really for me to judge (and I'm fairly neutral on both of them); however, as Magic experts they certainly leave something to be desired. At least I'm up front about the fact that I'm really no good at magic, nor will I ever be; however, Gary passes himself off as a "Limited Expert" despite not making a Top 8 at an individual Limited Pro Tour. Alex, meanwhile, has parlayed a bunch of Grand Prix Top 8s in places you never heard of into a steady gig for the Sideboard. How? By the process of elimination, if you ask me. Since most of the really good Pros treat writing with disdain, you're left with nothing but the scraps. Notable exception: Brian Kibler. While I'm certainly not as sold on Kibler as he is, he's a player worth respecting who also took a couple years off from the game and is back putting up good finishes.

Prediction: Kai will not win a Pro Tour (or Worlds) this year. I'll take even money bets from people on this one.

Of course, Kai didn't win the Team PT this time around… which brings me to another point. Winning the Team PT shouldn't count as a "win" in the larger sense of the word. I'm sorry, but Dirk Baberowski has won ONE PT, not three. It should be treated much the same as in tennis, where you separate singles and doubles titles. Example: if a very rich fellow who happened to be decent at magic (and no, I'm not talking about Bob Maher) was willing to pay enough, he could pay Kai and Finkel to be on a team with him, and fly them out to practice together, etc. If he won a few matches here or there, they could win the whole thing. Should that guy get credit for a PT win? I think not.

Speaking of Kai, you didn't think I would let his Worlds report go unnoticed, did you? A couple quotes for the uninitiated:

"Today, I am not just some guy. I am sitting on top of the lifetime winnings list. I have won more than twice as many Pro Tours as any other player. I've been Pro Tour Player of the Year three times and going into the tournament, I was in a great position to take the title for the third year in a row."


"At this point I'd like to bring up a sad story concerning Gabe Walls. Gabe is a fine human being and I get along with him very well, but he suffers from a severe illness I call the "American Syndrome". The American Syndrome infects mostly Americans between the ages of 16 and 22 and forces them to talk. And I don't mean just to chat here and there. Whenever they are winning a game of Magic, they feel the urge to talk nonsense ("trashtalk"). A freaking lot of nonsense. But the contrary happens as soon as the poor victim is losing. In that case, he will sit quietly in his chair and mourn his position with words like "lucksack" and "manascrew". I just don't like that people like Gabe are sometimes marked as annoying or similar things. They don't choose to be like this. The source of the illness is found in their heritage, education and environment, so I beg you, bear with them…"

I will admit that many Americans do indeed talk too much trash, complain when they lose, and brag when they win. However, I find this behavior to hardly be unique to Americans. I think part of it comes from the fact that most of the successful young pros hail from the USA, and those ages 20 and under are more brash than those older and wiser. Still, the first quote makes me wonder: Does Kai suffer from "German Syndrome"? You know, the one that makes you tell us all your accomplishments? I read his article quite carefully, and it seems that he only lost one round legitimately (oddly enough, he chooses not to speak about it). The rest of the time he was "manascrewed" or his opponent was a "lucksack", no doubt. Don't get me wrong, Kai is without a doubt the best player of all time. I don't think that it's necessarily wrong, though, to expect him to live up to a higher standard.

Anyways, join me next month (hopefully!) when I take on the flawed PT point system, 8 round Pro Tours, and more.

Flames? Comments? Send them my way at markdash at hotmail dot com.

-MD

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Whew. It's been a long, long time, but I'm back to hit you with more no-holds-barred opinions and in-depth deck analysis. Minus the in-depth deck analysis, of course. Hopefully, this will be the first in a monthly series of rants and opinions that I'll be writing. Of course, if I don't follow through with this, I will flame myself in an upcoming article.

Leading off is the card face change for 8th edition and all subsequent expansions. I'm not normally a naysayer on things like this, but I have to give the critics props here. The card face is truly awful. Without a doubt, this will lead to the end of Magic as we know it. The fantasy setting (to which the card face is very important) will be compromised. It's only a matter of time before the number of players declines… I give it about 3 years to the end of the Pro Tour.

NOT.

Seriously, idiots who talk like this make me want to laugh. It reminds me of the morons who came out of the woodwork when Sixth Edition rules were brought in. They complained about how you couldn't use damage prevention effects and how counterspells would be worthless, et al. Well, they turned out to be dead wrong on that, and so will the card face morons. Honestly, don't you think Wizards of the Coast just might know what they are doing? I mean, seriously. They are a multi-million dollar company, being run by an even wealthier corporation, with focus groups and market research and business plans and research and development-yet you, sitting in your parents' basement, know what is best for the game? You are kidding, right? In a few years, when the game is still thriving and we're all used to the card face, we'll look back and say, "How did we ever play with those retarded looking, hard-to-read old faces?" Mark my words.

As for the "feud" between Gary Wise and Alex Shvartsman, well, I'll just say that a disagreement was never had between two more insignificant Pros. I'm not going to comment on them as people, as that's not really for me to judge (and I'm fairly neutral on both of them); however, as Magic experts they certainly leave something to be desired. At least I'm up front about the fact that I'm really no good at magic, nor will I ever be; however, Gary passes himself off as a "Limited Expert" despite not making a Top 8 at an individual Limited Pro Tour. Alex, meanwhile, has parlayed a bunch of Grand Prix Top 8s in places you never heard of into a steady gig for the Sideboard. How? By the process of elimination, if you ask me. Since most of the really good Pros treat writing with disdain, you're left with nothing but the scraps. Notable exception: Brian Kibler. While I'm certainly not as sold on Kibler as he is, he's a player worth respecting who also took a couple years off from the game and is back putting up good finishes.

Prediction: Kai will not win a Pro Tour (or Worlds) this year. I'll take even money bets from people on this one.

Of course, Kai didn't win the Team PT this time around… which brings me to another point. Winning the Team PT shouldn't count as a "win" in the larger sense of the word. I'm sorry, but Dirk Baberowski has won ONE PT, not three. It should be treated much the same as in tennis, where you separate singles and doubles titles. Example: if a very rich fellow who happened to be decent at magic (and no, I'm not talking about Bob Maher) was willing to pay enough, he could pay Kai and Finkel to be on a team with him, and fly them out to practice together, etc. If he won a few matches here or there, they could win the whole thing. Should that guy get credit for a PT win? I think not.

Speaking of Kai, you didn't think I would let his Worlds report go unnoticed, did you? A couple quotes for the uninitiated:

"Today, I am not just some guy. I am sitting on top of the lifetime winnings list. I have won more than twice as many Pro Tours as any other player. I've been Pro Tour Player of the Year three times and going into the tournament, I was in a great position to take the title for the third year in a row."


"At this point I'd like to bring up a sad story concerning Gabe Walls. Gabe is a fine human being and I get along with him very well, but he suffers from a severe illness I call the "American Syndrome". The American Syndrome infects mostly Americans between the ages of 16 and 22 and forces them to talk. And I don't mean just to chat here and there. Whenever they are winning a game of Magic, they feel the urge to talk nonsense ("trashtalk"). A freaking lot of nonsense. But the contrary happens as soon as the poor victim is losing. In that case, he will sit quietly in his chair and mourn his position with words like "lucksack" and "manascrew". I just don't like that people like Gabe are sometimes marked as annoying or similar things. They don't choose to be like this. The source of the illness is found in their heritage, education and environment, so I beg you, bear with them…"

I will admit that many Americans do indeed talk too much trash, complain when they lose, and brag when they win. However, I find this behavior to hardly be unique to Americans. I think part of it comes from the fact that most of the successful young pros hail from the USA, and those ages 20 and under are more brash than those older and wiser. Still, the first quote makes me wonder: Does Kai suffer from "German Syndrome"? You know, the one that makes you tell us all your accomplishments? I read his article quite carefully, and it seems that he only lost one round legitimately (oddly enough, he chooses not to speak about it). The rest of the time he was "manascrewed" or his opponent was a "lucksack", no doubt. Don't get me wrong, Kai is without a doubt the best player of all time. I don't think that it's necessarily wrong, though, to expect him to live up to a higher standard.

Anyways, join me next month (hopefully!) when I take on the flawed PT point system, 8 round Pro Tours, and more.

Flames? Comments? Send them my way at markdash at hotmail dot com.

-MD

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!