We've all read our fair share of strategy articles and thrown our hands in on some rather unbecoming net decks. There were years when the tech was ripe and ready for the picking. Those were the years when the Dojo was still online and when we said mise and meant it, goddamn it. Sadly, those days are gone and my constructed rating has dipped into some sour digits.

My experimentation in net decking is no longer fruitful. I have to pay to see good decks then only to lie, cheat, and steal to get the pieces required to make a deck. A guy could go broke, or, even worse, criminally insane running around like that. Magic: the Gathering has now gone online and I thought that my plight would have increased, but not so. The modern age and my overwhelming technical skill have found a way for me to scrape my rating from the bottom of the barrel. What is my secret you ask? It may surprise you. It may leave you aghast. It may leave you in SEIZURES!

I thought to myself one day, "Why is it that my opponent can't just writhe and squirm when I play an important card?" Well there was the obvious reason that the game is balanced and most people like to have a certain answer for any given situation. There's a metagame to think of and cards that you have to be able to deal with. So, what do they not have an answer for? Seizures. There is no answer to them. You can't stop them. You have to watch out because they're sneaky. One minute you're eating a ham sandwich and
the next you're shaking like a bad washer and dryer set.

So, I started working on my card. It was hard going. I had to set my computer to monochrome to avoid any misfires of the card on myself. I don't know how much good this work would have been half done with me being a victim of my own tech. It was a hard 15 minutes. It was one of hardest fifteen minute periods of my life right next to my opposition to being pushed out of the birth canal or eating that cheese pizza last night.

But the card came out and the tech is mine. I have no foe to powerful. All will fall to my glorious effort. All I have to do is figure out the how to affect the color-blind metagame.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

We've all read our fair share of strategy articles and thrown our hands in on some rather unbecoming net decks. There were years when the tech was ripe and ready for the picking. Those were the years when the Dojo was still online and when we said mise and meant it, goddamn it. Sadly, those days are gone and my constructed rating has dipped into some sour digits.

My experimentation in net decking is no longer fruitful. I have to pay to see good decks then only to lie, cheat, and steal to get the pieces required to make a deck. A guy could go broke, or, even worse, criminally insane running around like that. Magic: the Gathering has now gone online and I thought that my plight would have increased, but not so. The modern age and my overwhelming technical skill have found a way for me to scrape my rating from the bottom of the barrel. What is my secret you ask? It may surprise you. It may leave you aghast. It may leave you in SEIZURES!

I thought to myself one day, "Why is it that my opponent can't just writhe and squirm when I play an important card?" Well there was the obvious reason that the game is balanced and most people like to have a certain answer for any given situation. There's a metagame to think of and cards that you have to be able to deal with. So, what do they not have an answer for? Seizures. There is no answer to them. You can't stop them. You have to watch out because they're sneaky. One minute you're eating a ham sandwich and
the next you're shaking like a bad washer and dryer set.

So, I started working on my card. It was hard going. I had to set my computer to monochrome to avoid any misfires of the card on myself. I don't know how much good this work would have been half done with me being a victim of my own tech. It was a hard 15 minutes. It was one of hardest fifteen minute periods of my life right next to my opposition to being pushed out of the birth canal or eating that cheese pizza last night.

But the card came out and the tech is mine. I have no foe to powerful. All will fall to my glorious effort. All I have to do is figure out the how to affect the color-blind metagame.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!