In an article earlier this week on magicthegathering.com, Wizards introduced a new card containing the undestrucablecantcountermeorblockeven! keyword. “One of the first things we noticed when designing this new Magic: the Gathering expansion is that the average player doesn’t want his card to be destroyed, countered, or blocked. With these key thoughts in mind we came up with this brilliant new ability,” said a nervous looking Mark Rosewater when asked for comment. “I mean, really, we need to give them what they want. Have you seen the look of these players? Yikes! It’s enough to send me back to writing for bad TV shows.”

"While the keyword itself is a bit of a mouthful, its effect on actual game play is very simple," explained corporate sellout Randy Buehler. “Pretty much it makes your creature enter another plane, if you will, kinda like shadow, but not the same at all. The idea is: why be bothered seeing what your opponent is doing when you can just simply play a creature and attack with it? We have found that the non tournament, or ‘average player’ [He said while making the ‘quotation fingers’] has no interest in being foiled by someone better then them.”

Pro player and internet writer Kai Budde had this to say: “Those cards are pretty good. I plan on getting a bunch from my legions of barns and then writing an article on how good they are for a regionals deck. Next, the prices skyrocket and I then turn around and sell them on eBay for massive cash! Oh and I’m a much better player then you,” he added for no apparent reason.

When asked about the new ability, famed StarCity writer and onetime good player Ken Krouner had this to say, “Nick Eisel is a cheater and I hate him!” We attempted to clarify the question but Ken’s response remained the same with an added ‘TOGIT rules!’ as he flashed what can only be described as a lame attempt at a gang sign.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

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In an article earlier this week on magicthegathering.com, Wizards introduced a new card containing the undestrucablecantcountermeorblockeven! keyword. “One of the first things we noticed when designing this new Magic: the Gathering expansion is that the average player doesn’t want his card to be destroyed, countered, or blocked. With these key thoughts in mind we came up with this brilliant new ability,” said a nervous looking Mark Rosewater when asked for comment. “I mean, really, we need to give them what they want. Have you seen the look of these players? Yikes! It’s enough to send me back to writing for bad TV shows.”

"While the keyword itself is a bit of a mouthful, its effect on actual game play is very simple," explained corporate sellout Randy Buehler. “Pretty much it makes your creature enter another plane, if you will, kinda like shadow, but not the same at all. The idea is: why be bothered seeing what your opponent is doing when you can just simply play a creature and attack with it? We have found that the non tournament, or ‘average player’ [He said while making the ‘quotation fingers’] has no interest in being foiled by someone better then them.”

Pro player and internet writer Kai Budde had this to say: “Those cards are pretty good. I plan on getting a bunch from my legions of barns and then writing an article on how good they are for a regionals deck. Next, the prices skyrocket and I then turn around and sell them on eBay for massive cash! Oh and I’m a much better player then you,” he added for no apparent reason.

When asked about the new ability, famed StarCity writer and onetime good player Ken Krouner had this to say, “Nick Eisel is a cheater and I hate him!” We attempted to clarify the question but Ken’s response remained the same with an added ‘TOGIT rules!’ as he flashed what can only be described as a lame attempt at a gang sign.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Complete Darksteel Spoiler - Part 1
• Complete Darksteel Spoiler - Part 2
• Isochron Scepter Introduces New Skill Testing Mechanic: Reading the Card
• Mirrodin Mechanic Revealed
• Onslaught Game Mechanic Revealed
• Wizards of the Coast Reveals New “Slammer” Mechanic