Blue Beast known as “Broodstar” casts shadow of doubt, confusion over FNM players

[AP] WA – Friday, May 21, 2004 gave Bellingham’s Friday Night Magic players a rare glimpse of the specimen N00bsus Overratus, more commonly known as a Broodstar. Not seen since late February, this specimen appeared in Round Three of the Swiss portion of the biweekly Standard tournament.

Few have witnessed a free-range Broodstar in a while, so an overview of their identifying characteristics may prove useful in certifying a sighting. The creature has the appearance of a large insect, is azure-hued, weighs roughly 1/15 of an oz, and has been observed to grow as large as 10/10. Its diet consists mostly of players without fliers or Wing Shards. Hard as it may seem to believe, the world was once teeming with Broodstars. Emerging on Friday and sometimes Saturday evenings, Broodstars were commonly confused with members of the 372nd Military Police Company, due to the beatings and humiliation they provided their victims with. The piles of bodies left in their wake garnered international attention, and soon, Broodstars were in demand everywhere. From greasy kitchen tables surrounded by greasy teens to Paris, New York, and Milan, Broodstars were the height of large flying fashion. Perhaps MiseTings denizen Vengoporautobus, whose devotion to the cerulean omnivore led to a certain infamous catchphrase of late 2003, exemplified the best example of the Broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodstar craze.

But seasons and metagames change, and the world’s predator/prey relationships constantly find themselves evolving. Most leading bio-cardboardologists agree that the release of Darksteel into the ecosystem was directly related to the demise of the Broodstar. The Arcbound Ravager (Firstpickus Twentybuckus) in particular has been cited as the largest culprit in the disappearance of Broodstar from its natural habitat. Ravagers subsist on a diet of artifacts, money, and the hopes and dreams of control players the world over. Broodstars cannot survive in an environment without artifacts, and they were declared all but extinct, surviving only in States 2003 decklists and low-rent trade binders. Ravagers, meanwhile, continue to dominate and thrive. With virtually no chance of surviving long enough to procure food left, the last few remaining Broodstars were assumed to have died in captivity. With all this taken into account, it does make one wonder exactly how one came to exist within the walls of Cosmic Comics on that breezy spring evening.

“It came out of nowhere,” as one player put it. “Totally out of the blue. No one could have foreseen it. It’s like playing meteorite bingo on Earth’s surface.”

Other players were perplexed on how such a creature could exist at all. Some registered their disbelief with this reporter. One resident of the 1-2 bracket had some choice words - “A duck-billed platypus has webbed feet, is a mammal, and lays eggs. Also, the male of the species has a poisonous spike on the rear ankle. This makes sense and is perfectly rational. But a creature requiring two blue mana to play being good? It’s totally illogical. Why don’t you just tell me the one about the Morphling while you at it, gramps?” “Heh, the Morphling. Good one” chimed in a friend between gulps of Mountain Dew. Other players were simply nonplussed. “I don’t understand the interest. It has affinity for artifacts, but doesn’t ever become free. You can’t play it and win! My RAF only runs 18 land, and you can’t rely on getting two blue at all. You just can’t. It doesn’t draw you cards. It doesn’t easily clamp up. It’s not modular. And an Ornithopter or, hell, a Nexus can block it! This is a loser’s attempt at a joke.”

Despite the confusion, the newly-hatched Broodstar was not long for the world. Upon hitting the table for 2UU, the beast blinked twice, and prepared to gather forces for one final attack – a pure blast of last year's nostalgia to be released upon one AtomicDrunk. However, I am a shameless netdecker and promptly entwined a Tooth and Nail for a Duplicant and the Symbiote I needed to go off. The flying wonder was quickly imprinted and removed from the game. It was a sad, if strangely fitting end to the last of its kind. Removed from the game, indeed. I lost my Duplicant, but I believe we all lost a great deal more. Farewell, Broodstar. We hardly knew ye.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

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Blue Beast known as “Broodstar” casts shadow of doubt, confusion over FNM players

[AP] WA – Friday, May 21, 2004 gave Bellingham’s Friday Night Magic players a rare glimpse of the specimen N00bsus Overratus, more commonly known as a Broodstar. Not seen since late February, this specimen appeared in Round Three of the Swiss portion of the biweekly Standard tournament.

Few have witnessed a free-range Broodstar in a while, so an overview of their identifying characteristics may prove useful in certifying a sighting. The creature has the appearance of a large insect, is azure-hued, weighs roughly 1/15 of an oz, and has been observed to grow as large as 10/10. Its diet consists mostly of players without fliers or Wing Shards. Hard as it may seem to believe, the world was once teeming with Broodstars. Emerging on Friday and sometimes Saturday evenings, Broodstars were commonly confused with members of the 372nd Military Police Company, due to the beatings and humiliation they provided their victims with. The piles of bodies left in their wake garnered international attention, and soon, Broodstars were in demand everywhere. From greasy kitchen tables surrounded by greasy teens to Paris, New York, and Milan, Broodstars were the height of large flying fashion. Perhaps MiseTings denizen Vengoporautobus, whose devotion to the cerulean omnivore led to a certain infamous catchphrase of late 2003, exemplified the best example of the Broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodstar craze.

But seasons and metagames change, and the world’s predator/prey relationships constantly find themselves evolving. Most leading bio-cardboardologists agree that the release of Darksteel into the ecosystem was directly related to the demise of the Broodstar. The Arcbound Ravager (Firstpickus Twentybuckus) in particular has been cited as the largest culprit in the disappearance of Broodstar from its natural habitat. Ravagers subsist on a diet of artifacts, money, and the hopes and dreams of control players the world over. Broodstars cannot survive in an environment without artifacts, and they were declared all but extinct, surviving only in States 2003 decklists and low-rent trade binders. Ravagers, meanwhile, continue to dominate and thrive. With virtually no chance of surviving long enough to procure food left, the last few remaining Broodstars were assumed to have died in captivity. With all this taken into account, it does make one wonder exactly how one came to exist within the walls of Cosmic Comics on that breezy spring evening.

“It came out of nowhere,” as one player put it. “Totally out of the blue. No one could have foreseen it. It’s like playing meteorite bingo on Earth’s surface.”

Other players were perplexed on how such a creature could exist at all. Some registered their disbelief with this reporter. One resident of the 1-2 bracket had some choice words - “A duck-billed platypus has webbed feet, is a mammal, and lays eggs. Also, the male of the species has a poisonous spike on the rear ankle. This makes sense and is perfectly rational. But a creature requiring two blue mana to play being good? It’s totally illogical. Why don’t you just tell me the one about the Morphling while you at it, gramps?” “Heh, the Morphling. Good one” chimed in a friend between gulps of Mountain Dew. Other players were simply nonplussed. “I don’t understand the interest. It has affinity for artifacts, but doesn’t ever become free. You can’t play it and win! My RAF only runs 18 land, and you can’t rely on getting two blue at all. You just can’t. It doesn’t draw you cards. It doesn’t easily clamp up. It’s not modular. And an Ornithopter or, hell, a Nexus can block it! This is a loser’s attempt at a joke.”

Despite the confusion, the newly-hatched Broodstar was not long for the world. Upon hitting the table for 2UU, the beast blinked twice, and prepared to gather forces for one final attack – a pure blast of last year's nostalgia to be released upon one AtomicDrunk. However, I am a shameless netdecker and promptly entwined a Tooth and Nail for a Duplicant and the Symbiote I needed to go off. The flying wonder was quickly imprinted and removed from the game. It was a sad, if strangely fitting end to the last of its kind. Removed from the game, indeed. I lost my Duplicant, but I believe we all lost a great deal more. Farewell, Broodstar. We hardly knew ye.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Jesus Christ Banned from Organized Play
• Billy “Rogue Elf” Hanes Retires From Magic
• FNM Player "Just In It For The Money"