An entire culture of highly trained, secret assassins has decided to become public about a very troubling issue - their popularity.

"My family and I have trained for generations in the art of Ninjitsu, the way of the assassin," pleaded Jin Natanic, a killer for hire based in Kobe, Japan. "We have studied moving silently, hiding in plain sight, thrown weapons, bladed weapons, staff, bow and arrow, and death from the tips of our fingers. But most of all, we have done so in complete secrecy for hundreds of years. And it brings my family great shame to now be recognized by our art in such trifles as movies, video games, role playing games and now collectible card games. Spies and assassins should not be like James Bond, they are supposed to be unknown, secret and deadly."

Indeed, it seems that Jin is not alone in his disdain for the sudden popularity of Ninja. Entire families of trained assassins are throwing out their black skin-tight wardrobes, traditional hoods and breath-muffling masks in exchange for the gaudy polo shirts and khaki trousers often found on golf courses throughout the island nation. "This is the camouflage of our time. Here is where the leaders of today gather," claims Jin, "and in a pinch you can do a lot of damage to a person with a 4 iron."

What has sent these formerly deadly martial artists to the fairways? A game called Magic: The Gathering.

"My son brought home a preview card from the local trading card shop that showed a cheesy blue ninja that was clearly labeled a Betrayer of Kamigawa," stated Kanahasa Mori, another member of the Kobe ninja clan. "I explained to [my son] Koki that a Ninja must be very loyal to whomever hires him, else he lose honor and proper payment for his services. I do not know who this 'Kamigawa'-san is, but a true Ninja would never betray him, provided he was properly paid."

"It all started with a video game called Shinobi," Kanahasa Koki explains, "and my father tentatively supported playing that game once I explained how it helped improve hand to eye coordination by showing that my Shuriken skills have improved much since playing that game. My addiction to other ninja-related games proved to be much harder to explain as one by one my father grew wary of games with titles such as 'Ninja Gaiden,' 'Ninja Burger,' and 'Monkey, Ninja, Pirate, Robot.' When I brought home the Magic: The Gathering card, 'Ninja of the Deep Hours' it was my father's breaking point."

"Koki tried explaining about how some of these 'Magic' cards could 'flip' out and 'kill' his adversaries, but that was just too far fetched for a father to believe."

It seems like this problem is not one that will go away. We may have seen the last of the ninja in Japan. But for now, just to be safe, stay away from golf courses.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Betrayers of Kamigawa to Include Paragons of Japanese Animation
• Complete Champions of Kamigawa Spoiler - Part I
• Kamigawa Sensation: Unauthorized WotC Employee Interview

An entire culture of highly trained, secret assassins has decided to become public about a very troubling issue - their popularity.

"My family and I have trained for generations in the art of Ninjitsu, the way of the assassin," pleaded Jin Natanic, a killer for hire based in Kobe, Japan. "We have studied moving silently, hiding in plain sight, thrown weapons, bladed weapons, staff, bow and arrow, and death from the tips of our fingers. But most of all, we have done so in complete secrecy for hundreds of years. And it brings my family great shame to now be recognized by our art in such trifles as movies, video games, role playing games and now collectible card games. Spies and assassins should not be like James Bond, they are supposed to be unknown, secret and deadly."

Indeed, it seems that Jin is not alone in his disdain for the sudden popularity of Ninja. Entire families of trained assassins are throwing out their black skin-tight wardrobes, traditional hoods and breath-muffling masks in exchange for the gaudy polo shirts and khaki trousers often found on golf courses throughout the island nation. "This is the camouflage of our time. Here is where the leaders of today gather," claims Jin, "and in a pinch you can do a lot of damage to a person with a 4 iron."

What has sent these formerly deadly martial artists to the fairways? A game called Magic: The Gathering.

"My son brought home a preview card from the local trading card shop that showed a cheesy blue ninja that was clearly labeled a Betrayer of Kamigawa," stated Kanahasa Mori, another member of the Kobe ninja clan. "I explained to [my son] Koki that a Ninja must be very loyal to whomever hires him, else he lose honor and proper payment for his services. I do not know who this 'Kamigawa'-san is, but a true Ninja would never betray him, provided he was properly paid."

"It all started with a video game called Shinobi," Kanahasa Koki explains, "and my father tentatively supported playing that game once I explained how it helped improve hand to eye coordination by showing that my Shuriken skills have improved much since playing that game. My addiction to other ninja-related games proved to be much harder to explain as one by one my father grew wary of games with titles such as 'Ninja Gaiden,' 'Ninja Burger,' and 'Monkey, Ninja, Pirate, Robot.' When I brought home the Magic: The Gathering card, 'Ninja of the Deep Hours' it was my father's breaking point."

"Koki tried explaining about how some of these 'Magic' cards could 'flip' out and 'kill' his adversaries, but that was just too far fetched for a father to believe."

It seems like this problem is not one that will go away. We may have seen the last of the ninja in Japan. But for now, just to be safe, stay away from golf courses.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Betrayers of Kamigawa to Include Paragons of Japanese Animation
• Complete Champions of Kamigawa Spoiler - Part I
• Kamigawa Sensation: Unauthorized WotC Employee Interview