Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver

By: JC - November 08, 2001

Recently, the Sideboard’s Fantasy Pro Tour has gained considerable popularity: New Orleans’ contest alone boasted over 2,000 competitors. With this increased participation, came increased rivalry. Players were hushed over their top picks, which included Bob Maher Jr, Jon Finkel, and virtual unknown, Jesse Cornelissen. The player, whose best finish is top 256 at London ‘00, was quickly recognized as "somehow linked" to two-time Pro Tour finalist, Kamiel Cornelissen, and garned more fantasy selections than Pro Tour regulars such as Gary Wise and Brian Kibler. "I thought it was his brother, or like, a cousin or something," commented one participant, Richard Haoen. Entering the tournament, Jesse was widely expected to deliver at least a top 32 finish.

Sadly, however, he did not deliver, dropping after the fourth round and finishing in 322nd place. Some speculated manascrew, others playskill, and yet others blamed the three Tsabo’s Web in the sideboard of his obsolete mono-blue illusions/donate deck, which hosed a Rishadan Port threat that never came. A disapointed Ernest Millares, whose Cornelissen-anchored team lost to Brian Hubble’s in a close race, commented "Who is this guy? Does he even know Kamiel? Someone just said he was gonna mise, so I picked him. What a dud!" Terry Tsang, veteran fantasy drafter, put it bluntly and, perhaps, most accurately, "Jesse Cornelissen is Jesse Cornel-Shit." The current buzz on the Fantasy Pro Tour San Diego airways is Dwayne Finkel, who may or may not be related to Jon Finkel in some way.

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MiseTings is a Magic: the Gathering humor site. MiseTings.Com is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. MiseTings content does not represent the views or opinions of the editor. All original content herein is copyright © 2001-2006, World Wide Webware, all rights reserved. No portion of this web site may be used in any way without expressed written consent. Magic: The Gathering® is a registered trademark owned by Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc. MiseTings is not produced or endorsed by Wizards of the Coast, Inc. We respect your privacy, interested parties should check our Privacy Policy. Play hard and mise often.

Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver - MiseTings

Jesse Cornelissen Fails to Deliver

By: JC - November 08, 2001

Recently, the Sideboard’s Fantasy Pro Tour has gained considerable popularity: New Orleans’ contest alone boasted over 2,000 competitors. With this increased participation, came increased rivalry. Players were hushed over their top picks, which included Bob Maher Jr, Jon Finkel, and virtual unknown, Jesse Cornelissen. The player, whose best finish is top 256 at London ‘00, was quickly recognized as "somehow linked" to two-time Pro Tour finalist, Kamiel Cornelissen, and garned more fantasy selections than Pro Tour regulars such as Gary Wise and Brian Kibler. "I thought it was his brother, or like, a cousin or something," commented one participant, Richard Haoen. Entering the tournament, Jesse was widely expected to deliver at least a top 32 finish.

Sadly, however, he did not deliver, dropping after the fourth round and finishing in 322nd place. Some speculated manascrew, others playskill, and yet others blamed the three Tsabo’s Web in the sideboard of his obsolete mono-blue illusions/donate deck, which hosed a Rishadan Port threat that never came. A disapointed Ernest Millares, whose Cornelissen-anchored team lost to Brian Hubble’s in a close race, commented "Who is this guy? Does he even know Kamiel? Someone just said he was gonna mise, so I picked him. What a dud!" Terry Tsang, veteran fantasy drafter, put it bluntly and, perhaps, most accurately, "Jesse Cornelissen is Jesse Cornel-Shit." The current buzz on the Fantasy Pro Tour San Diego airways is Dwayne Finkel, who may or may not be related to Jon Finkel in some way.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

MiseTings is a Magic: the Gathering humor site. MiseTings.Com is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. MiseTings content does not represent the views or opinions of the editor. All original content herein is copyright © 2001-2006, World Wide Webware, all rights reserved. No portion of this web site may be used in any way without expressed written consent. Magic: The Gathering® is a registered trademark owned by Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc. MiseTings is not produced or endorsed by Wizards of the Coast, Inc. We respect your privacy, interested parties should check our Privacy Policy. Play hard and mise often.