Provo, Utah -- Gaming magazines have always had an inconsistent history. First was The Duelist, the magazine best associated with Magic: The Gathering. Then Scrye was released, boasting its large amount of flawed secondary market prices. Finally, an entire entourage of gaming magazines: TopDeck, Inquest, Dragon and Caedere's Furry Quarterly. Duelist was eventually phased out, leaving the market with Pokémon infested articles and relentless Yu-Gi-Oh! previews.

Does this seem odd to anyone? Enter Jim Phishket.

Phishket, a little-known Magic: The Gathering (MTG) fanatic from Provo, Utah, became upset after the Duelist was eventually discontinued, forcing him to rely on old news in the Furry Quarterly. After being disgusted for several years, he began to write articles for Wizards under the pen name of "Mark Gottlieb." After being expelled for breaking caffeine laws, Phishket returned to his hometown.

"One day, I walked around a quickie mart, and spied several of my Magic buddies huddled over a copy of 'Playboy.' Although I nearly retched at the sight, I was surprised that they received so much satisfaction. By that night, I developed an idea of a magazine that would provide news and articles that would entertain the adult MTG player."

Thus began the creation of "Play Pro-Magic", a spin off incorporating the flavorful aspects of Playboy with the incessant news of an up-to-date MTG magazine. Phishket claims that it is "delightfully unrefined, yet tacky."

The infamous Mark Rosewater even praised the creation of the new magazine, "The creation of 'Play Pro-Magic' will not only influence the general maturity levels of players," explains Rosewater, "but attract an audience that has never really been a part of the Magic scene. I'm sure all Magic players will be happy with this change."

The highlight of the magazine is Phishket’s "Preemptive Preview" section, never seen before in any media form. His sources are able to preview cards that have not been developed by the Future Future League. In fact, they are spawned from the yet-to-be-born thoughts of Magic's R&D personnel. "My friends happen to be wizards, resembling the mighty Rincewind from Discworld. My best friend, Gary Gygax, a level 248 Marrow Vaporizer, has psychic powers and can penetrate the unguarded mind." When asked about the validity of his friend's psychic powers, Phishket replied, "rancored_elf is no match for him."

Additionally, Phishket borrowed the concept of a "centerfold" from Playboy magazine. However, he offers a twist: "I will include all of the wonderful people who have influenced Magic, the first of which being my pal MaRo."

Mark Rosewater commented, "I have not been a centerfold since I was made into a card," citing his brief appearance in Furry Quarterly, causing several lawsuits citing "animal sodomy."

Advertising in "Play Pro-Magic" will be completely different from the onslaught of online MTG stores found in other magazines. "Play Pro-Magic will not be devoured by excessive advertising," claims Phishket, "I have always disliked the relentless 'FREE RARES' in every ad. The small amount of ads appearing in my magazine will provide
services with more integrity, such as dial up sex lines."

Additionally, Phishket believes that providing free samples will deter future subscribers. "'Gift of the Woods', which was provided in Furry Quarterly during 'Alliances' previews, spontaneously led to many cancellations," explains Phishket. "For some reason they were offended by the male in the art. Also, I want people to read the articles. If I provided foiled Black Lotuses, no one would care about my magnificent creation."

"Play Pro-Magic" will be available in the following months at the your nearest tobacconist or adult video store. Phishket also plans on releasing a Wicca form of the magazine: Play Pro-Magick.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

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Provo, Utah -- Gaming magazines have always had an inconsistent history. First was The Duelist, the magazine best associated with Magic: The Gathering. Then Scrye was released, boasting its large amount of flawed secondary market prices. Finally, an entire entourage of gaming magazines: TopDeck, Inquest, Dragon and Caedere's Furry Quarterly. Duelist was eventually phased out, leaving the market with Pokémon infested articles and relentless Yu-Gi-Oh! previews.

Does this seem odd to anyone? Enter Jim Phishket.

Phishket, a little-known Magic: The Gathering (MTG) fanatic from Provo, Utah, became upset after the Duelist was eventually discontinued, forcing him to rely on old news in the Furry Quarterly. After being disgusted for several years, he began to write articles for Wizards under the pen name of "Mark Gottlieb." After being expelled for breaking caffeine laws, Phishket returned to his hometown.

"One day, I walked around a quickie mart, and spied several of my Magic buddies huddled over a copy of 'Playboy.' Although I nearly retched at the sight, I was surprised that they received so much satisfaction. By that night, I developed an idea of a magazine that would provide news and articles that would entertain the adult MTG player."

Thus began the creation of "Play Pro-Magic", a spin off incorporating the flavorful aspects of Playboy with the incessant news of an up-to-date MTG magazine. Phishket claims that it is "delightfully unrefined, yet tacky."

The infamous Mark Rosewater even praised the creation of the new magazine, "The creation of 'Play Pro-Magic' will not only influence the general maturity levels of players," explains Rosewater, "but attract an audience that has never really been a part of the Magic scene. I'm sure all Magic players will be happy with this change."

The highlight of the magazine is Phishket’s "Preemptive Preview" section, never seen before in any media form. His sources are able to preview cards that have not been developed by the Future Future League. In fact, they are spawned from the yet-to-be-born thoughts of Magic's R&D personnel. "My friends happen to be wizards, resembling the mighty Rincewind from Discworld. My best friend, Gary Gygax, a level 248 Marrow Vaporizer, has psychic powers and can penetrate the unguarded mind." When asked about the validity of his friend's psychic powers, Phishket replied, "rancored_elf is no match for him."

Additionally, Phishket borrowed the concept of a "centerfold" from Playboy magazine. However, he offers a twist: "I will include all of the wonderful people who have influenced Magic, the first of which being my pal MaRo."

Mark Rosewater commented, "I have not been a centerfold since I was made into a card," citing his brief appearance in Furry Quarterly, causing several lawsuits citing "animal sodomy."

Advertising in "Play Pro-Magic" will be completely different from the onslaught of online MTG stores found in other magazines. "Play Pro-Magic will not be devoured by excessive advertising," claims Phishket, "I have always disliked the relentless 'FREE RARES' in every ad. The small amount of ads appearing in my magazine will provide
services with more integrity, such as dial up sex lines."

Additionally, Phishket believes that providing free samples will deter future subscribers. "'Gift of the Woods', which was provided in Furry Quarterly during 'Alliances' previews, spontaneously led to many cancellations," explains Phishket. "For some reason they were offended by the male in the art. Also, I want people to read the articles. If I provided foiled Black Lotuses, no one would care about my magnificent creation."

"Play Pro-Magic" will be available in the following months at the your nearest tobacconist or adult video store. Phishket also plans on releasing a Wicca form of the magazine: Play Pro-Magick.

Discuss this article in the Magic: the Gathering Forums!

Related Stories

• Artist Guay Fired: Art not Sexy Enough
• Area Man Becomes the First to Have Sex While Wearing a Pro-Tour Shirt
• Casual Mage Tires of Masturbating to Serra Angel